Jedi Knight Haze and the Masters

NOTE: This is me being a total goober, and making a parody of Star Wars with me as a Jedi knight.  I am awesome. 

*The Jedi Master's chamber. They've assembled to speak with Knight Haze.*  

WINDU

We have word, again, that you are remiss in your duties. Care to explain yourself? This time speak up so we can all hear you.  

HAZE

It’s like this. I don’t like the idea of working for an army. I’m a knight who doesn't want to lead clones.

WINDU

You were asked to simply assist in a political guard duty assignment.

HAZE

Palpatine is creepy. He also smells like a nursing home gone rogue. Like the kind you hear about on Coruscant news.  

WINDU

He is the supreme chancellor.  

HAZE

I don’t understand. Does that make him less creepy and old smelly?

LUMINARA

You are before the council with such disrespect? I don’t know if we should be embarrassed or outright disown you.  

MUNDI

That disrespect is why you’ll never be master.

HAZE

You mean I missed my shot to hang out with all you fuddy--I mean fabulous knights who do the chancellor’s bidding? I’m good.  

YODA

Impertinent, you are. Tiresome are your responses.  

HAZE

Can we wrap this up?  My shift at Burger World starts soon.  I can’t be late...again.

WINDU

You have a job outside of your duties, Knight Haze?

HAZE

How else am I gonna pay for some non-itchy clothes? I put that request in yeas ago, and the clothes only get hotter and itchier.  I bet Hutt skin is more comfortable than this get up.  

WINDU

You wear the traditional garb of a Jedi Knights which has been worn for years. Deal with the itchiness.  We all do.  

HAZE

Is that why y’all so cranky? I was wondering.  I’m guessing the Sith wear wool shorts at this point.

*Masters stare at each other, then back at Haze. They take a long, collected sigh*

WINDU

You will resign from this “Burger World.” They sound indulgent, and you are getting a muffin top.

HAZE

Did you just call me fat?

WINDU

I did not say--

HAZE

--You talking, but all I heard is “fat, fatty Mc Fat-Fat.”

YODA

Careful young one. Sensitive you sound. To the dark side, such butthurt leads to.

HAZE

Wait...I’m whiny and fat? You must think I’m the worst Jedi ever.  

*The masters look over at Obi-Wan.  Obi Wan ignores them.*

OBI WAN

I’m taking the high ground on this.

YODA

High Road you mean?

OBI WAN

No. It’s always high ground with me.    

YODA

Away with you you Haze. Master you will not become.  

HAZE

Wait.Y’all was evaluating me for master?  Nobody said anything about evaluations.  

LUMINARA

You don’t listen very well either.  

HAZE

(mumbles)
Says the master with the jankey padawan.  

*Luminara stands, and ignites her saber*

LUMINARA

Say that again, so everyone can hear your impertinent self.  

The other Masters block Luminara’s path from stepping closer to Haze*

LUMINARA

No, don’t stop me. Let him see what a master can do/   

OBI WAN

Fear is not a tool the Jedi use. You know this.

LUMINARA

Oh? He all good on the high ground are we? You’s your padawan?

OBI WAN.  

Mine completed his trails.  

LUMINARA

And if you so much as say “Padme slept with Clovis,” he’s about to have a crisis.  

YODA

Uncalled for this is. Better than this we are.

LUMINARA

Tell that to Dooku, you algae-infested fortune cookie.  

*Yoda rolls his eyes*

YODA

Made mistakes I did, but insults--

LUMINARA

--Damn it, say a sentence in order! It takes all of the force to listen to this mess.  

*Luminara deactivated her lightsaber, and storms out of the room*

HAZE

I’ll go finish clock in at my other job.  

*Windu walks up to Haze and gives him unflinching eye contact*  

WINDU

Boy, if you don’t quit that job, and get back to Jedi business, there's going be a world of hurting on you.  

HAZE
You promise?  

*Windu ignites his saber. The rest of the masters struggle to hold him back*

MUNDI

You should run, Haze. If you stop agitating use we’ll make you master.  

HAZE

Before Skywalker.  

OBI WAN

Let us worry about Anakin, just leave.

*Haze zips out of the Council chambers*

HAZE

Suck it Skywalker.  I’m a master before you.  

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Slow to Post Thang Happens

For shame that nothing’s been written here, and today that’s changing. This simple post is a reminder to myself that my personal blog can use some simple, personal touches, like frequent updates. For one, I’m still writing (covered on my writing blog), and I’ve been working on getting an item published.

I grew my facial hair, and the hair on my head out. It’s been looking wild and rough, and I kind like it as an experiment, as I haven’t grown the hair on my head out in years. It’s not as cool as the other thick beards I’ve seen dudes with, but this was a good learning for me. A friend called my look, “bohemian,” which may be a great way to describe it. Speaking of hair, I need to wash the one on the top. Just to get it to clean, and I’ve done my writing quota for the day.

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Some Seasons

Oooh, look. I'm outside, and this is one of my Mom's flower. I believe she said it was a Lilly. Looks pretty. Snapped a pic, and decided to share it. I think its a pretty flower.

This is one of the various images I took from Mom's garden. She loves to plant and nurture them. I like to take pictures of the end results. Flowers can be impressive, and I dunno if I can take care of them with the passion they need. Maybe one houseplant to start off first, then develop a taste for more.

It's good to see them grow, but it's sad when it gets so cold, you can't really do much but cover them, and hope the frost doesn't kill them. Such is nature.

Tuesday

Holidays have a way of throwing me off, as I am used to certain activities on a Monday like the mail and garbage collections. It seems simple, yet it's important in the scheme of regulations in the course of the day. 

It's very cool today, and the sun appears a little hidden. It was warm outside when I went out there. Not bad.  Better than that fire roasting heat that usually shows up and makes anyone out there suffer. Also, the AC died in my car again. I simply going to have to live with that for the moment. 

Yesterday was Memorial Day, and it was a time to reflect on people who gave their lives in military service. 

This Morning

This morning deserves a blog post. Here's why. I'm in bed, pretending I will fall back asleep, but that won't happen. I'm wide awake, the the only sound happening is the fan in the room. I can hear the neighbors car door close. My senses are awake should I have coffee? Had two big cups of water yesterday. Didn't do too much for me. Don't even think I ran to the bathroom too often. Was I dehydrated?