I Am So...

...Annoyed. I have been deailg with dumb shit I don't want to go into on my blog. its my day off, and I want to relax. Contemplating buying a DVD, but I may not. I need to get myself onto some good thoughts, and enjoy the rest of my evening. I love resting. I should get me a drink and call it a day. LOL

Cable Modems

I found out today that my little modem is greedy. Instead of sharing the line for cable and high speed internet via the comapny's slicer, it wants a direct plug into my cable line. Its as annoying as hell, but it works. I have complete service when I have the modem not shring the signal. Such is life. I will learn to work around this. Gotta go get me something to eat before I fall over in hunger pains. Tomorrow I am so restocking my pantry. them walls is looking mighty nekkid to me. LOL

Me Am Tired

I had not coffee, no lattee to buzz me. Drank water all day and night. Decided that I needed to get things done. Felt so clouded in thoughts as I worked. I must need more sleep. I don't feel sleepy though. I don't have to be up early tomorrow, so I better chil for the night.

Chilling

Its my break and I've had a little breather, and life is good. Things have been a little hectic, but after some music, I am able to forget any ills of the day. I need to make a grocery list so I can buy my food proper. i have an experiment to cut out any fast food for at least two weeks, and focus on what I can make at home. I am determined to make a worthy budget for myself, and not have a stressful weke to week life.

Cleaned up today. I had so much junk that went straight to the garbage can. I horde too much useless stuff. I did manage to get all my clothes sorted proper, so I am glad. We need jeans day at work though. I want to wear jeans once in a while. Maybe I should ask my supervisor. No harm, eh?

I have some ideas for some articles on my blog that after I clean my pad, proper, I can sit down, write without any interference. I am excited about this, because I am adding structure to my routine. Expect me to annouce it Friday, or better yet simply post it, and expect that I will follow up on this every Friday.

This Is Me…Smiling

Life throws so many things my way and sometimes I am nowhere as near as proactive about my own self as I need to be. I can very laxed and breezy about somethings. In effect, I can be on the flaky side of making decisions. This is neither a pity party or a sad posting, but a posting of my own self-affirmation and maturity. I will not, allow myself to feel miserable about the things I can change. I do want to go on the record as saying that as a man, I make many mistakes, and I am writing to express my intent to make myself a better man. What does that take to make me a proactive man? I am working on that.

Let me say that for a long time I had this fear than I couldn’t be happy if I put effort or structure in my life. I kept feeling that it was a boring routine and I would get nothing from a routine. Well, that was a silly idea on my part. A routine gives a person a structure and balance in their lives. To have a balance allows a person (myself) to see all the options and weigh them on a just scale. Also, this removes a lot of the fear and anxiety that I carry within myself.

I have to get grounded, and fill my mind with meaningful activities. Not like I’m on drugs, but laziness is a drug too. I’m not suggesting that I work myself to nothing, but I need my goals to be seen in front of me. I don’t want to romance ideas anymore, but have goals I can touch and feel. I don’t want the impossible, but I want success.

Mellowness? I will always have that. It is a strong tool, but I need to temper it with my proactive abilities. I need to feel I am in control of everything I do, and not leave situations to chance, and hope they feel better.

I also need to make sure I stop worrying about the lesser things, and punishing myself for not being perfect. Nothing is perfect. We all make mistakes, and I want to be happy. I want to have love for myself, and I don’t want to suffer because I couldn’t be flexible, or I feed of former ideas.

Here’s what I know for sure: I am a great idea man. I am extremely creative. I know my ideas are sometimes off-kilter, and unique, but that’s a great strength. It’s a beautiful talent. I believe in me, and I want others to see what I see. I want to be successful and happy with myself. I want to grow spiritually and physically. I want to mature past who I was, and become the brother who doesn’t have to watch Cribs and wish for what others have. I don’t want to worry about what other people think.

The seed has already been planted, the soil is great, and its time to thrive, come whatever the weather is about. This is me smiling, because my goal of being my own man is here now. I’ve claimed it, and now is the time to enjoy life.

I want to thank all my family and friends for influencing me. I also want to thank all those who stood against me. It has only made me a stronger man. I have this saying, “I will break free of all that constrains me.” Its been me holding me back all this time. That’s over with. I am unlimited; I am worthy of all that I aspire to. I learn and grow through all my experiences. There is no more second-guessing my life. I’m driving, and that’s final!

Peace & love.

Confessions of A Latte Addict

I have a big fat caffeine headache, and I am like mad craving a latte, which I would be getting tonight. I took an Advil and will have to walk it off. Yes I would love to hit up any coffee place the way I feel now, but I am making a good thing worse when I cave into my desire. Its making me feel a little bad, and I may have some tea when I get home, but no darn lattes. LOL

The Golden Revisor

I thought the title was a cool pun, but I digress.

I got back feedback from Cari for the six issues, and I got some great ideas that will help me revise the story. I really am looking forward to revising and adding proper. We're hoping to get this series off the ground before the end of the year. With the revisions in place Cari can at least draw the issues. Right now she's going to do some awesome character sketches, and turn around poses. I've seen the turn around for Seph. Check out Cari's site for more imagery. You can find her site here.

Damn Internet Jitters

Goodness, my internet stalled for the whole day. i fould this very annoying, as I wanted to at least check my messages. instead I watched some cable, and then dusted off an old script for a comic book I forgotten i wrote. I didn't realize how far I got (fourteen pages). i should so reclaim and finsih this story. Why? Because it is so worth it. I did have to adjust the tabs as the old files had the tabs everywhere. Editing is annoying sometimes, but I get it doen proper. I have two other projects I need to get shit done with 'causeI need to push myself harder with my writing. I have the consistant thing down, now I need the more frequent and producing more down.

Cari and I made a list of publishers. We're still talkinging about it, now I got to get the drafts done proper.

I think I am going to design my own personal website soon. I have the right images and ideas. We'll have to wait and see as I am ready to get things started.

Blog Birthday

I started this blog back in september of 2003. It's still going on for four years. I love my blog. What to do for the birthday? Change the layout? Keep writing now. I think I'll keep writing. Submitted my writing nportfolio to the graduate department yesterday. Found out that

Lea Hernandez Update

Here is a link to the article on Lea Hernandez by Gail Simone.

The original posting of Lea's story is here.

Lea's home was unfortunately gutted by a fire, and people are raising money to help her.

There is an auction going on for Lea to help raise funds. If anyone likes comics and comic book related art, you may want to check out the auction.

Self Pix Adjusted

I love using Photoshop. I adjusted, levels, modes, and added filters. It makes the image more interesting. In may ways, it captures me in a way I'm not usede to seeing. I confess a lot of love for this image, and may push further with Photshop to see where the image takes me. I love the color of the duotone I created, and I feel I am getting a lot of milage out of esperimenting with the levels, filters, and modes.

Portfolio Completed

The writing fool has done it. I created and completed a writing portfolio. Its 29 pages of creative writing. I have two great fiction pieces, and some non-fiction pieces (blog entries), and some instructions I will be issuing to my work study students. I am vey happy to have it completed. I went to staples, bought a good portfolio, and dividers. I had to be choosy, as the most visible were the bright colored folders that were not the image I had in mind. I eventually found what i was looking for. I also got some clear tab lables that would be the icing on the cake.

The labes were printable, but the one thing I found rather annoying was the instructions for the lables. OMG, talk about fustrating me, the lables would not print to the specifications the instructions gave. I was so upset because I did not want to handwrite the lables. It took away from the overall look of the portfolio. Well, I went online to the company's site and downloaded a template for Word, which allowed me to print the text exactly on the label space. Talk about relieved. I am very satisfied with the end result. I hope to turn the Portfolio in tomorrow. That reminds me, I need to fill out another form, better go take care of that while its on my mind.

Writing Fool IVX

I found I love the cyberpunk genre. It's funy, but I was writing this story, and trying to nail down the elements, when after some research, I found I was working on a thriller/cyberpunk story. I love that I found that I had a basis to work from.

I have some very strong southern roots I find in my short stories. The elements of religion, racism, and prejudice seems to come up a lot. Also academics, relationships, art, and love.

Working on urban fantasy. Its been very rewarding. I still need to keep developing the story. I could swear I have a thriller type adventure with supernatuarl elements.

My novel has been sleeping for a while, but its been for the good. I have been thinking about it of late, and that means more ideas, and chapters to complete. Still its direction and genre are on the illusive side. I do know its a family drama that spans generations, but I don't know how to classify it genre-wise. I still need to write more on it. the object will become clear then. Such is the path of all stories. I love the experience. I live in my art.

Calling Upon My Strength

I am resolved to mellow out at work today. its been so hectic I can't get all my duties done. At last, I get to take a break and relax. OMG I have doen so much before I arrived at the job. I am grateful for a breather. There are times when something as simple as a moment to myself is priceless. Got my headphones and iTunes working for me. I feel so good now.

Speaking of iTunes, there was an upgrade I took advantage of. Now I can dowload movies. I will skip that for now, as I prefer the DVD method, but I loved the tv shows. I d-loaded the free offers. LOL I got 2 episodes of the Blade TV show. I admit, I didn't want to like Sticky (Snipes so made the role for me), but Sticky's done a great job as Blade.

I worked on my writing portfolio today. its got all the essential elements except one: My Statement of purpose, which I want to re-0write. i don't like it as is. That's just me. I can so make it better than what it is now (the perfectionst that resides in me).

Told Car today that I am so confidant in our collaboration that I am 100% positive the mini series will be published, yet my certainty of the portfolio is waining. I am so nervous about collecting all of my mateiral. I will get over than 'caue i am only giving myself a day to complete the rewrite. At this point I am satisfying myself.

Reposted Art

This is only a reposting and sample of Cari's art for our comic. She does great work. Her talent is growing. After a while I will have to schedule an appointment to talk with her. Our collaboration has been a great experience, so I KNOW we will take it to the top.

Cari has her own site with her on webcomic, so I am sure she doesn't mind visitors. The link is in my links section. Also Desperado, our publisher is linked tas well. Check them out.

One Day Off

Oh, i got one day to chill, and i am enjoying it. Contacted the family, and found that my Aunt is in the hospital. My Mom is upset, and has calmed down. I am positive my Aunt will be fine. Spoke with my older bro. he was chilling. My younger is at work (I think). I don't want to bother him at work. I know his job is fast-pased and busy. Saturdays must be crazy. my week was like that. I should send him an email though.

This week-end is pizza week-end, and I have no complaints. Went to Staples to pick up a portfolio. A hard cover for a writing assignemnt. I also have more corrections to my comic. I must admit, after finishing up the whole thing, to see it all collected in one binder is so good a feeling. I am going to work on it tomorrow during my work break. Its the only time I have enough silence 2 work on it.

I Got A New ISP!!!

Comcast is a pain in the groin sometimes, and I have to get all the kinks out, but I can now go online again, which makes me very happy, as opposed to ho-hum all the time.

Went to work today early, and I was bombarded by new students and staff questions until I was ready to go hide myself. The starts of new quarters are so rough on the staff (and we are so understaffed). Trained new students today on library work. I had to flex the "boss" muscle that will get some student's attention. As always there are a couple that don't do what they need to be doing. Why do they make it so hard. A friend told me "Stacy, you are a good supervisor because you don't breathe down people's neck (micro manage)." Too bad my bad apple students think kindness is weakness. They are in for a shock. This quarter I won't lose sleep if I have to fire a cople of students who don't do right by the rules. The more I plead for them to stay in line (the bad ones, my other students are fabulous), the more they stray.

Let me say that we have many great workstudy students who I treasure. I really do like a student who doesn't have to give me grief over getting paid. Good students make the job worthwhile. heres to my great work studies. :-)

More New Pix

I decied to work on a second pix. Altering the colors made them a little richer and abstract in my opinion. I liked both versions, so there is no objection to psoting both images. I have two more that I can paly with. We'll see.

To me "Blue Stacy" is cool, and deep. Something more emotional in me. "Monochromatic Stacy" is more down to earth, and reala. I see more details in this image.

I think I may make a sepia version of this image. Note to self: I need to compile the self-portraits.

My New Self-Pix

I rather like this picture. Of course, I filtered it through Photoshop, so it has a rather mysterious quality about it. I will display the originals shortly, as I think the original four have a very rich quality to them. I usually hate the photos as is, but I find I love the self portraits. I may touch the images up for color corrections, but I like what I see.

CONFESSION TIME: When I was in my teens I would have NEVER had my picture taken. I didn't like the reflection I saw. I hated how I looked, and people always made fun of me for having to wear thick glasses. I hated wearing glasses, and wanted contacts so bad, but my parents wern't having that. LOL

Well, that arkward teen phase has been replaced with a man who is proud to show his visage online. I am very pleased that I can look myself in the mirror without cringing. It took a while to get there (not all this time, but in reflecting on myself, I've learned to loosen up some).

P.S. I am buying new glasses soon, because at this stage, I don't give a damn if people don't like what they see. There's a JC Penny window naysayers can kiss my rear in, if they want to hate.

Chapter Five Is Done!!!

I finished the last chapter of the script!!! OMG the first time I ever completed a multi-part story. I know its first draft, but it's a healthy step in the direction of my life. I am so excited that I did this. Now all I have to do is revise ALL the chapters that I wrote. I am very excited about the revise.

I am hungry, and I am tired, but I go home soon, and I can rest.

Staying Positive

I have this feeling that before b-day arrives, I will be onto better things. I belive that we, as people, often move forward as we struggle for better living, and fulfilling our goals. I have been going through so many phases, that I know there is some maturity levels that have increased. I know I am moving forawrd instead of regressing. I have come a long way, and I have slowly but surely gotten better each day I breathe, So I look forward to my next step, because I know it will lead me towards better goals.

here is to postive thoughts and actions, because we all need a free mind. A mind free of ignorace, hate, chaos, and dram, so we can move on towards our goals. its simply time to be free of all contrainsts and pettiness. I have waitied, I have held out for better days, and am very thankful for all opportunities.

I Love Comics, or I Love Writing

"I love comic books," is an understatement from me. I grew up reading, and am always loving turning the pages of a new story. I re-read the older stories I have. I do love my reading time. Due to economic reasons, I gave them up, cold turkey. The exception is Nextwave, which I had the forsight to puschase a subscrition to months ago.

I still read the latest comic news online, and am excited by the positive changes comics are going towards. As a writer, I think I should start writng more comics. Mainly things I would love to read. The stories and subject matter can vary, as I would love to see all ages and more mature stories. I think its time I look past what I know, which is collecting and reading comics on a monthly basis, to writing what i want to read on a monthly basis.

Expect me to make a scheldue of my writings, and get my stories underway. I really want to move from reader to (published) writer. I hated giving up my monthly comcis, but I love the idea of replacing my readings with creations of my own.

This is not to discount my prose writing, as it is my goal to get my novel published AND a collection of my short stories together. I do have some other ideas that work in prose (future novels), and short stories. I made chapters out of one short story. I need to reclaim it, and break it down like some homework.

Still without an ISP

I ordered through Comcast, and called today to see what the holdup was. Oh, the drama!The first order I placed was LOST. I called today. Customer service is confusing, as the website gives the 1-800 # but the online peeps did the work, and the phone people don't know what the online peeps do, and I got all confused. Ugh!!!!

Needless to say, I felt like how some of my customers used to feel when they called at VZW. I did remain very calm and friendly, but thee system Comcast used was bothersome, to say the least. I am not confidant in their high speed service at the point. I know if I am not pleased, its back to Bellsouth (who still irritate me). I hope by Wednesday to have my equipment from Comcast. I am upset, but I'd rather stay calm.

Writing More and More

Mailed off my short story to a literary magazine today (The Southern Review). The mailman should have picked it up, and sent it on its journey by now.

I am very excited because submitting the finished product to a publisher. Now we play the waiting game. I could and will work on other projects this week-end, thus removing my thoughts on this particular story.

I have to thank my friends who read the story. Both Jackie and Cari read and liked what they read. It was time to stop looking at my story on the screen, print it out, and let it breathe.

Speaking of printing, I had some issues with my lovely printer. It made smudges on the pages. Thanfully, the printer has a self cleaning function. OMG! This is like the printer is new new again, and my pages looked so fresh and clean. It makes a brother proud to see his story in print on quality paper and no smudges. My Epson rocks!

Been Thinking

I don't have an ISP, yet l,if has gone on. How can this be? LOL I know that once I get my ISP back I will be updating my blog on a more frequent basis, which is what I really want the freedom to do. For now I'm on my break, typing an entry. Thank God for the wi-fi I get as both a student and staff member of SCAD. I have to say, if I didn't have cable or DVD's I would more than likely do more writing. Distractions are all the rage in my place.

I need to peep some furniture. I know I need some. :-)

Did a spending journal, that is helping me out tremendously. Now I know where the money is going. Have to limit my latte intake, but they give me a mighty good boost in the evening when I write. The mysterious powers of the latte (hazelnut or vanilla).

Posting from Gail's Forum

I'll let it speak for itself. Originally posted yesterday.

Early this morning, the Texas home of award-winning writer/artist Lea Hernandez, my friend and co-creator of the graphic novel Killer Princesses, caught fire and burned. Half her house is now gone, and the rest is smoke-damaged. In addition, she lost at least six of her family’s beloved pets, two dogs and four cats. If you knew Lea, you’d know how devastating that is.

She’s lost a great deal of her family’s possessions, including irreplaceable art. She doesn’t yet know the full accounting of what’s been lost at this time.

Most know Lea as the brilliant creator of such works as Rumble Girls and Cathedral Child. She drew the Marvel Mangaverse PUNISHER book, and has drawn for TRANSMETROPOLITAN, among many other accomplishments. She is also the co-founder and original editor for GIRL-A-MATIC, one of the most important venues for female-friendly comics created to date.

She’s also my friend, and it’s entirely possible I wouldn’t have a career in comics if she hadn’t asked me to write Killer Princesses for her to draw.

And finally, Lea is one of the last great firebrand hellraisers in comics.

Lea has two (wonderful, amazing) special needs children and right now they need a place to stay and some clothes to wear. More than that, they need
some help, and fast, in the form of donations to her paypal account. Lea’s a proud person so I’m going to ask FOR her. This is important, and a great chance to do a wonderful thing for a creator who has consistently enriched this industry we all love so much. Please, take a moment and send WHATEVER YOU CAN to Lea’s paypal account and help make this time a little bit less painful for someone who would do the same for you if the positions were reversed.

If you’re a retailer, I ask that you set up a donations jar. If you’re a creator, I ask you to think of how devastating this would be to your career and donate what you can. If you’re a reader, I’m asking you to take a moment and hit the paypal link. You’ll be doing something heroic and you’ll feel great about it, I promise.

Read what Lea had to post on a neighbor’s computer while wearing her pajamas at: Livejournal.com/users/divalea

Donate (PLEASE) to her paypal account at: divalea@gmail.com

Finally, if I understand the story correctly (as told to me by Lea’s good friend and current Girl-a-matic editor), it was Lea’s daughter hearing the smoke alarm that allowed the family to get out in time, so for God’s sake, do everyone you love a favor and CHECK YOUR SMOKE ALARMS.

Thank you so much for helping. Really, any amount you can send will make a difference. That’s all I can say.

Sincerely and gratefully,

Gail Simone

Waiting For the Internet.

It's like a slow torture, waiting for the internet, but I must digress. Once I get it, i will likely be doing the same thin g, which is being bored, except for the first two hours of plugging back in LOL. On my break now. My pizza partner for the afternoon could not make it, so I had to dine alone. One is the lonliest number for pizza. LOL

I decicded to update my blog and be happy. Its a minimal entry, which saddens me. I so miss my internte connection. There are so many things I love having to do from the convience of my appartment. Such is life. Things will get better. I've had over a week of withdrawl. LOL

Happy Labor Day

I will be lying low, and doing some major writing. Call it my little 3 day week-end. I hope all are safe, and be careful while on the road, as while most are respectful, it only takes one drunk driver to ruin multiple lives.

PS.. Decided to go with high speed internet cable, and hope to be online sometime next week when the opportunity presents itself for me set it up. Its been a lesson learning week.

Connected with my father more than I thought I would. I didn't realize how much I missed talking to him. It is so fascinating how the layers of life that unfolds before me. A new level of appreciation I never knew I had.

I love ending on great notes.

Enjoy your week-end!!!!!