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Because I'm Feeling It

Don't want to write, and I have barely gotten my bibliography together for my final paper. I am so tired, and so not wanting to be here. I so need some sleep big time. I need a latte to get my motor running. I also didn't bring my dinner cause I was tired. Silly me. How dare I need sleep. So here I am waiting for the next thing to happen.

New Hats

So I am very nervous about getting the ball rolling again with proposing my comic book to publishers. My heart is racing. People are responding to the ad I placed on Digital Webbing, and I am very blessed to have the script completed, although I am thinking of some keen revisions for certain sequences.

Needless to say, if I were not nervous, then i should be worried. When I feel that nervous feeling I know I am on track. I just told Aggie I was going to bust my Art History paper and this story out, so I have got to get this shit done proper. Let me let you know that I am serious about writing. This does not even encompass what else I am doing, but I know what's at the top of the list.

Can we add "producer" to my resume? I like the sound of it. It makes me feel great.

Alarm Clocks and My Own Errors

Ok, I swore I set my alarm clock, and I was in la-la land with no regrets, however, what I thought was so wrong. Not only did I not set my alarm, I failed to take it off mute. I was like, I'm feeling this sleep until I peep my clock, which said 10:07! I was so mad. I rolled outta bed half awake, and my eyes stinging like crazy. Allergies were bugging the heck outta me. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, got dressed, and was out the door for class. Made it on time. Needless to say, I should have set the alarm clock earlier that day when i had the damn time to do it.

Churgle: The Movie

Y'all know I don't feel like much blogging today, but I said I will do at least five sentences. Gotta keep the mind flowing. Writing is a river and all. Can't dam up the flow. It will run over.

Made my chicken Alfredo too rich, as my stomach is battling with me. It started churgling (churning+gurgling=churgling-I love Stacy math). Next thing you know I was in the bathroom. Thank God I was in the privacy of my own apartment. One never wants to be anywhere if you start churgling. Made sure to stock up on Lactaide, and Pepto. yes I did. A brother can't put himself out there without some backup. Like the movie cops in a shootout, and his partner has to cover him.

In my defense I OD'ed on the milk products. Sunday I had Ben & Jerry's, and garlic bread topped with mozzarella & cheddar. Too much milk product. Again, like movie cops, a brother played the maverick, and went in without his backup. A brother got tagged but good. He payed the price for his disregard for the rules. Thou shall not fuck around with the milk products.

Deep Genre

A blog for writers, by pro writers in science fiction & fantasy. Every bit helps. Take in please.

Dazed and Refused

Well, it's another charming day at the ranch. It's all kooky. Slept extra late, and enjoyed it! Got up to hear on Larry King that John Lovitz beat up Andy Dick. Y'all, sometimes it doesn't pay to have your TV on CNN, or Judge Hatchet (baby momma/DNA tests), or CBS soaps (Brooke Logan is still a ho). I am so not interested. Checked my email, and I was looking for some clothes online. Yes, its an easy way to window shop. Look at all the stuff I can't have.

Midterms and the Final Paper

Taking a quick break from doing things to reflect on the fact that I have a final paper (12-15 pages) to complete. A friend said this was a thesis, and another confirmed that it might as well be a thesis. I wanted to do the human figure in contemporary art, and my professors suggested I narrow it to either the female nude in contemporary art, or masculinity in art. I gots my work cut out for me. I weep for for my once free time. LMAO! Y'all know I love a good challenge.

Chicken Alfredo, the Dinner!

So, I decided that I would cook, after running some errands and having an extra class section on final papers (12-15 pages-yes I know, bring on the drama). At first, I thought I was going to buy some fast food, but changed my mind. I decided that I should cook. Went to the grocery store, and bought the ingredients for chicken Alfredo. It was either that or spaghetti. Let me tell you how it’s done.

I like to cook some boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I season them with salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, and sear them in the pan. Next I sauté some mushrooms, onions, and bell peppers. I make the noodles separately. For the Alfredo sauce, I buy the jarred stuff, but then I jazz it up. A little salt, some red pepper flakes, butter, garlic, some heavy cream, and Parmesan cheese, and a dash of nutmeg. I cut the meat into chunks, then I add noodles, veggies, and chicken into the sauce. I add it in doses, so I can get the all the food coated in the sauce.

Italian seasonings blend well with the chicken, so you have a great taste alone. The chicken breast can be its own meal. I’m having salad on the side. I have a good sized pot, so I don’t have to cook for a few days. J

My Road to Independence

Been thinking about how I have wanted a better life for myself, and how I could get that. It's been a hectic road, and I often didn't take stock in what I do for myself. Well, while driving to work I realized I should take this up with the highest authority. So I asked God to help me help myself. Honestly, I want to feel love for myself, and know the strength I have, so that I can move from being too relaxed to the more proactive graduate student.

I've been thinking of how I had to struggle with my jobs and college work in order to get where I am today. I need to keep the fires burning, and make sure I am on top of things.

Her Virtue Roughened © Stacy R. Haynes

Practice writing

Her Virtue Roughened © Stacy R. Haynes

Harold pulled Eve closer to him. He yanked her so quick, her head bobbed, and she lost her breath.

"You like that, eh?" He said while smiling. "Nobody's around. It's just you and me." He was nearly drooling with satisfaction. She regained her senses and turned her head away from him. Even his cologne began to repulse her. She pushed away with great force. Her blouse ripped in the process.

"Back off!" She said. "Nobody manhandles me." She was a tigress, ready to strike.

Harold's eyes were as cold as a lump of coal and fixed upon Eve as he walked up to her. She didn't cower. She didn't back down. She didn't see his hand as it hit her so hard across the face. She saw stars for a second. She felt his arms on her shoulders again.

"Don't you ever pull away from me!" He demanded, as he violently shook her. She could smell stink of the Scotch on his breath. She felt ill, as he pulled her close and forced his tongue down her throat. She felt the disgusting taste of his spit, kneed him in the nuts as hard as she could.

He broke off his bear hug, letting go of her. He fell to his knees, shocked out of breath, and holding his crotch for dear life. Tears swelled in his dark eyes.

"You dumb broad, I'll kill you!" He huffed out in a higher pitched voice. He didn't see it, but he felt the full weight of a vase crashing against the back of his skull. He fell face forward onto the floor. He was out cold.

"Son of a bitch!" Eve shouted, trying to compose herself. She touched her face where he slapped her. It stung like crazy. She grabbed her compact to check herself out. Her face was red, with the shape of his hand on her face. "Oh God." She moaned. "I hate fucking temp jobs." She gathered her things and left.

The Write Stuff

Been writing here and there, but still writing, and typing things out. The short story, I accidentally left home (this serves as a tel to pack my bag before its time to leave). I would have edited it. it's a nine page story, that I have mixed feelings about, and rather has some rather true to life elements I did not foresee. Nonetheless it begs to be revised with fresh eyes.

Second short story has mutated. I did this one a while ago and sat on it for a long while. This is a fantasy-based story, and I think I can add it to my novel, which is also fantasy based. I don't know yet, but the short story has a life of its own. I need to be able to find the direction for it. It's a wild voice right now, in need of some direction.

The erotic short story. OMG What have I gotten myself into? It's very racy, at some points raunchy, and I feel a need to leave it alone for a while and return after I get over my conservative voices yapping in my ear. I'm feeling real dorky about now. So out of my comfort zone, which I wanted. I feel a strong need to finish what I started.

The comics. The comic scripts. I am so knee deep in the scripts. New four-issue comic to complete, among the several scripts (I worked on their first chapters), and a sequel to the first comic. It seems I have become a writing fool.

Question of the Day

What am I doing to improve my living, and happiness? I need to know the answer, because I fell a little like I'm in a static phase, and that has to change. What about the rest of y'all? Is there something cool going on you'd like to share. I'd love to hear about it, and be inspired by success.

I Need To Cook Something

In spite of my sleep, I DREAM of time to cook. I want a huge pot of spaghetti. It will last about a week, and if I take my time and slow cook the sauce, I will have some damn good eating. I want a salad to go on the side, and some garlic butter bread with three cheeses baked on the top. I am so ready for the weekend so I can have the time to prepare this meal.

I Am So Tired

It's been a long day already. Midterm was today. Art appropriation was the topic. Discussion was the main word. Found out that the research paper has to be done in Turabian style. Gotta love the MFA program. After years of MLA on the undergrad level, we now get Turabian (Chicago Style). A brother gotta keep on his toes if he knows what's good for his GPA and academic career.

Art

Tried to read up on Appropriation art, and quite frankly, its a bore. I did read about Jeff Koons, and he is quite the character. Some of his art is so boring, I was neither amused or contemptible. It was more like meh? I wasn't feeling him. He was, however, very self-promoting and able to polarize art the community.

Time is...

I have so many things to do. Too many things. I found myself cleaning my bathroom, while ironing clothes, jotting down story ideas, and reading a book I was supposed to review. I am so stressed right now, and not in a good way. Managed to wash the hair and shave that wild shrub off my face. Did I mention that while shaving, hair got in my eye. Shampoo didn't drip in my eyes, but beard hair can reach my eyes? My eyes! It was removed. Crisis solved.

Do I have dinner for work today? I don't know. I'm not spending and cash this week (I hope) on eating out. I am rather upset, and feel a little hectic. About to get off line and relax. Did I mention I have a discussion tomorrow, so I have to do some research on this as well. Thank God I'm only taking one class. A friend is taking two, and she is even more stressed from the classes alone.

Sleepy

Had some food, and now I am tired. LOL Why? it was break time, and I need to eat before I leave. Why don't I just lay on the floor. ICK. LMAO! One of the perils of a meal. Oh, the sin was I had some mocha chocolate chip ice cream with it as well. I knew better. I simply wanted a treat. Did I mention i did two pages for a new short story? I did deserve a treat, also have a new mini series to script.

Self Portrait

Playing with Photoshop again, which is a pastime of mine. Love the effect, and it looks lovely. I seem to be capturing my more quieter, pensive moods of late.

Get's Ta Writin'

Been bitten by the bug to write, while feeling that overworked feeling. Fell asleep after eating a sandwich, and now I gotta do, what an artist has to do. I want some sweet tea. No, I shouldn't have it. I shouldn't have bean burritos either, but it never stopped me before. Hadn't cooked this week-end and I am going to have to do better, so I don't have to spend too much money on food during the week.

Best Kept Secrets

I want to thank the people who read my blog, or my blog on myspace. What people are telling me is that they enjoy reading my blog, and that has made my day. I think many of the bloggers I read and comment on have very easy-going blogs. These blogs are more personal in nature, and are great reads. I am proud to have links for others to see/read at the top of my blog.

That reminds me, I need comb over my links and add some more blogs. :-)

Kill That Noise

Last night, after getting into bed, and drifting asleep, I was awakened to the lovely sounds of one of my neighbors’ bass heavy stereo. Said neighbor invited friends, and commenced to party like no one else lived in the nearby apartments.

It was after 1:00 AM, and I needed my sleep. I tried not to be aggravated, and I tried to ignore them, but the more they partied, the louder the music became. I could deal with loud people, but the bass was all in my place. Even worse, it was like a loop of songs with the same or similar beats going. It was relentlessly annoying.

Y'all know if I did that mess, the neighbor would be upset, right? Enough was enough, and I called the cops. Honestly, my neighbor was all about disrespecting other people. It was all about their good time. Well things quieted and I was able to go back to sleep, after a while. I know if it happens again, I am calling the cops again, because the apt manager seems neutered on this.

Take the Bull By The Horns

Ok, this is me contemplating my next move with a six-issue comic book I've written. My artist dropped out due to other obligations, and I have waited for over four months from one publisher to no avail. Such is life. What to do... Why I'm going to hire an artist, and possibly assemble a team to produce the package so that I can send out the comic to publishers interested in looking at the full material. Instead of feeling helpless or frustrated, I prefer this method, as I know I can get things done. It has changed my mindset, and made me feel more optimistic about my chances of getting published.

Love Your Thursdays

Ladies and Gentleman,

Take your Thursdays by the hand, and lead this passionate dance. Pull it closer to you. Feel your Thursday right on your chest. Look Thursdays in the eyes. Let it know that you love this tme and day. Don't you dare look away, as we all know for the dance to have passion, your eyes can't lie. If you don't know how, then you best fake it. Kiss your Thursdays, caress it. Let it know you care.

Share My Disdain

Reading a book called The Reenchantment of Art. Let me say that at some point I am finding the subject to be on the pretentious side. I have read so far, and I am condensing what I have read, that society has lost its sens of wonder. The spiritual side, the psyche, and the soul are empty. Art is created without the sens of wonder and curiosity that it has. The world is mundane. Art reflects the mundane. There needs to be a return to the intangible sides of creativity. What have I gotten myself into? I need to finish the book, but so far I am less than thrilled with my progress.

Writing Things Out

Well, I gave the short story some time, and began hand-editing the pages earlier today. It needs some work, and I admit that clarifying what the characters mean will more than likely make me scream, but I love a good challenge. So I do this without looking at the fact that I will cut out lines, and add new ones.

I am so tired. I loathe getting up early, as I have transformed myself into a creature of night. Now I know when the alarm clock goes off I have to get ready for class. Speaking of class Contemporary Art has proven parts interesting, parts shocking, parts boring as hell, and several parts disgusting. Let me tell you several artist turn me off so bad. One day I will have to post what I have learned, so all readers can be repulsed as well.

My Art V

This picture was taken a while ago, and saved on my HD for whatever reason. Didn't want to post it. Observant viewers will notice that this picture is next to another painting I did. This is oil on gessoed watercolor paper BTW. I miss using the larger formats, so I may buy some just the same.

I miss my spur of the moment painting. I had an energy that was simply good for me.

My Art IV

Don't like the pix quality here either. This was an attempt to use watercolors, and I kept trying to apply it like oil paint. I was so wrong. Still it has a charming quality that I like. If I had to do this again, I would at lease focus a little more on the neck and shoulders.

In my own defense, my glasses were off, and as hard as I stared in the mirror I could not get the finer details for the underlying drawing. Literally, I transformed my own visage.

My Art III

Did this a while ago. Oil on gessoed watercolor paper. Again the pix quality sucks rotten lemons. I will have to retake the image when the sun is bright, which it has not been for a few days.

If the angle was wider, you might have been able to see the neighboring pictures next to it.

Stacy's Blah Day-I Got A Cure

I don't know, I've been feeling kinda blah for the past couple of days. Something has penetrated my mind, and caused me to feel so blue. This I refuse to accept. By writing I am able to express and release all that ails me. While I can't fix the world in thirty seconds I can and will remind myself that the only one who truly holds me back is me. So to my blah day, I have to give fair warning. Keep messing with me, and I'm gonna kick you in the nuts. Why? Because its unwise to test me. Now when life is so complicated as is.

My Art II

The camera doesn't do much for them, and they were filtered. It needs to be reshot, but I was pressed for time when I snapped them.

Me, Before Class In the Morning

It was the morning, and for the night person that I am, I am surprisingly awake. It was one of those days where I can't remember if I ate something before I went to class or not. It didn't matter in the long run. Burger King will make a small profit from my adventures in daylight.

I like this photo. It would make a good avatar, no? I left it alone after I added the filters, and played with the colors. Between writing two short stories, work, class, and all my other ideas, I "forgot" about this image. I like what I see, now that the finicky aspect of my personality has left the room. LOL

I may post the original to show the contrast between the changes.

My Art

The pastel drawing rocks, but the picture of it I did is so flawed on so many levels. I wish I hadn't lost the connector yo my digital camera, that way I could simply take them with a better digital camera, instead of my simple camera phone. It's a challenge to use and I adjusted the levels, colors, and contrast in Photoshop so it would not look as dull as the image first did when I saw it. I may end up ordering another connector cable for my USB.

Untitled

One day off and the next back to the biz. Life is ok, if not a little hectic. Put myself on the two chapter a day program for my class. I will be done with the text and notes by Wednesday night. When I get home I so want to eat something good. I have baked potatoes at home, and sauteed veggies. Maybe I should stop by the grocery store. Not that I want to cook. A restaurant then. What am I in the mood for?

Oh, Britney *hangs head down in shame for her* Damn Girl

Normally I would not rag on a celebs (much), because I am too sarcastic for my own good. When I read this article on Yahoo about Brittney Spears and her slip shot excuse for her mad umbrella attack as her prepping for a movie role while in the midst of a breakdown, I have to resist my urge to say something. All I'm going to say is if she had said nothing about this I would not have laughed so hard, and fell out my chair. This is so comedy gold for all the wrong reasons.

I hope to never post another BS story again. or at least a happy one.

Tell Me How To Feel

With all these "top ten" and "most influential" lists, I feel that everything out of high school is the real popularity contest. Since I am not on any of those lists, I must be doing something wrong, right? I need people to tell me how to think, how to act. How to feel. What to wear, what to buy, what to believe in. Let's face it. We're all losers because there's a standard that says we're not validated because we haven't arrived.

Is it all good? I feel its all toxic, and it threatens how people perceive themselves. I remember back in high school where you got laughed at for not having name brand clothes. Imagine thinking your behind all that, when TV and magazines create these "trendy people" lists. Like I need to be told my style and life isn't cool.

So, if people don't like what they see, or I'm not cool, it's even better. It's not about lists anyways. It's about me doing my own thing.

My Mistake

OK, I saw this meter maid late, around 12:35 AM, and I hate a meter maid something fierce. I said something rather unpleasant. Not to her, but I said it aloud nonetheless. I then broke into my own "Lord forgive me" train of thought, when I realized it was not forgiveness I needed, but to address my own lack of understanding and lack of respect.

I didn't know this woman, and while my disdain for meter maids is real, I had no business saying what I did. She did nothing to me, and I was so ugly. I feel embarrassed, which I didn't at first, but when I get down to it, had I been in her shoes, and someone said that aloud to me for whatever reason, I would have internalized the comments. So now I feel real stupid, and rightfully so for my rudeness.

I fell better now that I have gotten this out of my system. I also feel good that she didn't hear me. So now I think I can stop beating myself up about this.

Bittersweet: More Adventures In Short Story Writing

OK, I'm still in writing fool mode. This short story has me doing things like, trying to complete it. I have to say draft one is done, and it is very rough, but my story has it's beginning, middle, and end. I need to leave the story alone for a while, then look it over to make changes proper for draft two. Now I have this very bittersweet story, where I think I need time away from these characters because they gots the drama.

Adventures In Short Story Writing

S'ok I needed a mad latte break. Before I made my dash (the barista made this thing H-A-W-T) I also managed to squeeze some writing in for my short story. Right now I hit a deep point where the protagonist is discussing what her mother did to her. The descriptions are vivid, and I realized the character was in a world of hurt. This saddened me. I haven't even got to writing the part I see clearly, which is when she gets the Kool-Aid outta the fridge. The more I write about her, the more I want to know how she keeps her head up in spite of her pains, (parents and slack -ass bf).

The Early Shift

Did writing for a paper last night for class. Video art, at its roots is fascinating, but highly dated. Clearly the marks of the 80's have left its mark all over the works of Nam June Paik, who my paper is on. OMG someone mentioned "Max Hedroom" in class. Do you know how old that shit is? Do I realize how old I am? As the night moved on, I started talking about old things with my cyber pals. He-Man, Jem and the Holograms, Linoel Ritchie, and one really messed up Lifetime Network movie.

All the things discarded and thought gone from my mind. Now they come back not to haunt me, but to remind me of the incredible life I have. Life ain't easy all the time, but this reflection brought back some fun memories (not Max Headroom though). Not everything from the eighties should remain in my head. LOL