Unemployment Sucks Part 31: Smile

Through my experiences I discovered in times of crisis you discover who really supported me. I've said it before, but sometimes all I needed is that the communication of encouragement to keep on moving. Other times I've pick myself up off the floor, dusted off and tried again. This time round it's not all about me.  It's about everyone who's trying to make through the day in peace and positive vibes.

We deserve to be happy, positive people with healthy options in front of us.  Sometimes that doesn't happen.  I hope and pray for y'all that good things come our way.  I pray that people find good jobs that make the difference in their lives. I pray that people treat each other with love and kindness.  Yes, sometimes I'm very optimistic, cheerful, and looking for a lot of miracles.  Should we not belive or have faith in good things in store?

For those who've seen my Facebook page, you know it's mainly about goofy images, and getting people to smile.  Why?  Because sometimes we need a laugh when negativity cloaks itself around us and clouds our thoughts, moods, and senses.  If you get a laugh or smile from this pic, then I'm feeling real good about now for you and me. Sometimes encouragement is all we have for each other.  Last night Mom suggested a couple of Psalms (121, 91) to read from the bible.  It didn't hurt to read, and in fact made my night a lot more positive.  I'm passing them onto you. Best of luck and prayers in your endeavors, and much success in your future.

Uneployment Sucks Part 30: Sunday

Its time for a distraction. Been enjoying the silence of this day so far. Sometimes being able to lay on the couch and relax gives me comfort that I didn't have before. Also allergy meds make me woozy and no good.

Today is a out accepting there are actions that simply cannot be controlled and being free of the worry. Sometimes stress gets too me. Today is about letting it come for me and leaving without harming me. It's like the tide beneath my feet. It hits, surrounds me, and then leaves. I'm no worse for time taking its natural course. I am worse off when I try to hold the tide back. I might as well count the grains of sand. Feel the change coming through. Feel myself being part of change. Feel me letting go of a lot of things. Releasing a lot of tension will hold the key to my success.

My time to rise and shine once again with strengthen me. The younger me could not endure this. The younger me could not fathom such pain and resilience. The younger me could not strike the precious balance between being a part of something greater than myself and bing apart from something greater than myself. A huge part of my life is struggling to learn, accept, move on. Change is difficult. Life is difficult. I am complex and evolving. I want to be more than where I am now. That takes effort and commitment. I will make sure I devote energy to my well-being.

Unemployment Sucks Part 29: Anticipation

"Anticipation" is the name of the song on my playlist, and it's as appropriate title as any for this post.  The song is an old school funk/slow jam by the Bar-Kays.  A little something rich and mellow from my youth.  it reminds me of a lot of good things that happen and I treasure for memories.  Every now and then I need a reminder of good things that make me feel good.  It's a mellow Sunday, and I need to relax and write a little.  By little I mean a couple of blog posts.

Had the thought to do more cinema studies essays, which my cinema blog's been lacking like a politician and the truth. I need to write more just the same. Admittedly my creativity has left me so often.  It's a result of not working.  I do feel the weight of stress on my body and soul. Gotta fight that.  I'm a bit at a low point, but I'm not defeated. There's no giving up, and if i have to meditate to purge my soul and body of this I will.  If anything I'm a determined man, and I'm determined not to succumb to despair.

To end on a pleasing note, I've been jotting down notes and ideas, so I'm not 100% creatively bankrupt. Sometimes I'm simply going through a dry spell.  I anticipate me getting my groove and soul back. It's only a matter of time. Time I greatly look forward to.

Me and Lasagna

So darn good to eat

I decided that it was time to cook something and get my mind on food, which I love and missed doing on a regular basis. A few days ago I gathered the ingredients to make some lasagna. This is about the steps I took to make and improve upon an existing recipe. The goal was to make this dish tasty by adding flavors and not skipping quality. With this cooking adventure I got a sweet, yet a a bit of heat in the background of the dish.

The first thing I did was prepare the sauce a day ahead.  Why?  I had nothing to do the day before, so I could put in the time to make the sauce.  Despite all the ingredients I assembled, it's a simple marinara sauce.  Don't think of it as complicated.  Think of it as an adventure to tasting something worthwhile.  Granted if I had some more time and money I may use fresher ingredients, like actual tomatoes instead of canned.

One thing was a standout for me is I didn't use wine in the sauce.  I ran out, and went with the flow.  The next time I try this I will for sure ass wine to the sauce. A simple red wine will do for me. Was tempted to get out the rum, but I want that for my drinks.

Sauce:

• Tomatoes (canned and diced)
• Tomato sauce
• Tomato paste (small can - for thickness)
• Onions
• Mushrooms
• Salt
• Pepper
• Italian seasonings
• Garlic
• Basil
• Bay leaf
• Crushed rosemary
• sugar (cuts out acid taste)
• Wine (optional)

Sweet with a little heat.

Add tomatoes to pot along with tomato sauce, paste. Add seasonings. Dice onions and add mushroom last. Bring to boil then allow to simmer.If making sauce is not your option, please feel free to use your favorite marinara sauce for jars. I for sure wanted to try something on my own this time around for my sauce.

Meats:

• Italian sausage (spicy). Cook and allow to cool.
• Ground chuck. Brown, season, drain, and allow to cool.

You can either add the meats to the sauces or keep separate. Since I'm doing layers I wanted to see how it worked as a separate.  I typically create a meat sauce.  Also I used less meat than I normally would. Part of me wants the taste of meat without a lot of the heaviness. Like all the parts of this dish, the meat is optional.

For the sausage, I quartered each link and diced them. I mixed the sausage and chuck together.

Cheeses (all shredded except Ricotta)

• Ricotta
• Mozzerella
• Cheddar
• Parmesan

Spreads smooth and evenly.

I'm told it may have been cheaper to buy cheese wedges and grate them myself than to buy the shredded packages. I should do more comparative shopping in regards to this, but I didn't.  Feel fee to "one up" me on this juncture. Mix Ricotta in bowl with two eggs. Add shredded cheeses. Add seasonings. Don't add too much shredded cheese or the ricotta will thicken and won't spread.

Additional ingredients: Spinach. It has a completely different taste than I'm used to on my lasagna, but it's worth it adding to this recipe.

Pasta:
Use whatever lasagna pasta you like. For this recipe I used a no boil pasta, which allowed me a bit more free time in the cooking process.

Preheat your oven to 375.

Just one layer.

Assembling the layers is easy.  Instructions called for using a non-stick spray on the bottom of the tray.  I used olive oil.  The next layer is simply a thin layer of sauce.  This is another reason I wanted the meat separate.  Let the sauce hang out at the bottom.  Meat's in the middle.  If your ricotta's spreadable, you'll have less trouble with assembly. I know for me when I made it too think in the past, I thought it would met down.  I was wrong. Big lumps of ricotta is not fun when you want as even a bites as possible.

Once assembled, cover lasagna with foil and bake.

One thing I knew would happen is I didn't have a deep enough lasagna tray. What I did was take my pizza dish and placed it on the rack beneath the lasagna. In hindsight I could've bought a disposable tray that was deeper. This would leave me with an easier time of cooking.

Good and browned, and waiting
for me to cut into.  

The lasagna bakes for 50-60 minutes. Afterwards I removed the foil and added shredded mozzarella and cheddar to the top. You can brown this for 5 mins but I let it stay in there for about 15 mins.
Cutting into this was a treat.  it was good, warm, and tasty as all get out.  I'm sure many have variations of the same dish, but this was fun to put together and discuss.

Unemployment Sucks Part 28: Happy, Oh So Happy

It's past time to get the bills paid for this month, or as people say when the money's tight, "Time to rob Peter to pay Paul."  This is more like clubbing Peter, taking his money, giving it to Paul, then clubbing Paul to get the money to pay Peter.  Quite frankly I'm more than tired of this run around.  This would be different if I was working.  I've been late with bills before, but the next few paychecks and frugal spending meant me getting myself in shape.  A few years ago I promised myself to keep up with my expenses. Due to my unjust termination, it looks like the financial hardships keep on swinging.

With me I never know what to expect, and I certainly don't give up. It looks like I'm gonna be taking things one day at a time, and trying to get out from under this black cloud that is unemployment. My head hurts and my creative level went down a few notches, but a Brother never gives up.  If all I can do is three paragraphs of work today, that's what I'm ado. Things will get done because the only direction to move is forward.

Quite frankly it's time to work more on my reinvention project, so let's see what I produce in the next few days.  Like I said if all I have is three paragraphs, it's more than I had the day before. At this point I'm all about putting more effort into my personal growth as I struggle against adversity.

Unemployment Sucks Part 27: Damn It

As always I'm looking for new jobs.  Today is no different.  Put in applications for library assistant positions, admin assistants, and anything else I could find.  The pay for several of these jobs is quite underwhelming.  One makes more on unemployment than with the job itself.  it as if they jobs are designed to keep people destitute financially.  Needless to say I'm still looking and submitting for jobs.  I call this "ultra stress," cause the future doesn't look so bright.  Then you have people bickering in congress fucking about because they couldn't give a damn about the economy.  So what if I can't get a decent job or get off unemployment.  Who gives a shit if they are in power if they do nothing with it but hold people in contempt as they play out their games?

I don't need a promise from a politician.  What I need is some action.  So damn it, I'm frustrated.  It doesn't mean giving up.  It doesn't mean it's hopeless.  Time and prayer shall open the right doors for me.  Of that, I'm not afraid.  In the meantime that bleakness creeps in like a sour visitation that does nothing for me, but attempt to bring misery. I'm a cast it out like I do all negativity. Eventually what I'm looking for will arrive, and that's gonna be my best game changer.  I will say this.  unjust terminations do make for fucked up situations.  Forcing someone to scrape by is pretty low, however good shall come from this mess.  That you really can believe shall pass.

Unemployment Sucks Part 26: You Want To Purchase What?

There's a new software on discount for writers that I got my eye on.  Before I make the purchase I had to ask myself what bills did I pay and what do I have to spare for said software.  I told myself to hold off on purchasing even if I miss the discount in order to make sure I got my necessities out of the way.  If I was working this wouldn't even be an issue.  I'd just purchase the software and it'd be done.  It doesn't work like that anymore.  After putting in nearly $300 for car repairs (added it up last night), I knew there was a real vacuum in my funds.  Better to use what writing software I own at the moment, forget the discount, and wait until all my woes are calmed.   Not mad about that.

Speaking of not mad, yesterday and today are about simple joys.  One of those joys is making dinner.  I'm making lasagna.  Made the sauce last night.  Will write that up in a separate post.  Today I'm putting the ingredients together for an awesome baking in the oven.  Being able to drive to the store is a good thing.  Don't think I could walk that amount of stuff home.

Did type out some new ideas for a concept so at least I'm still writing.  Will keep on writing, cause it needs to be done.  Thinking of a sci-fi hero novel that involves super heroes. We'll put this one in development my concepts folder.  

Unemployment Sucks Part 25: The Ride

My car means a lot to me, so having it function again is getting back a piece of mind that I missed and needed in my life. Beforehand I never embraced losing my vehicle, and the impact it has on my life.  When I was faced with being unable to move as freely as I did, even simple errands became something of a tiring effort.  For example, I couldn't go to the grocery store like I normally would.  The heat was nastier than I remembered, and a walk to the local CVS was most tiring. I was, for sure afraid of heat exhaustion, which I've felty before.

I was fortunate to have a friend take me to the grocery store and I got some supplies and run a few errands.  That's why I say support is valuable, because if you don't have it, what will you do besides go without, and possibly loose your mind?

My ride's working again, thanks to support, but not having the money to immediately repair it, then facing a towing crisis that made me fret like a madman took it's toll. I am sincerely grateful for all the well wishes and the actual help.  You never know who your friends are until you're faced with crisis and stress. People let you know, "we're here for you" in spirit or in person.  Sometimes that "good luck" push works wonders for the spirit.

I say to all who read good luck in your endeavors, and I pray that things will turn positive for you.  I don't want you to give up on yourself, and I promise not to give up on myself. Things will turn around.  As to when and how, I have no clue, but that's why I pray, for you and me.  I'd love to say I've got a new job, and move onto being a productive citizen that doesn't feel trapped or hemorrhaging on unemployment. Talk about a parody of my former financial stability.  A Brother endures.

Unemployment Sucks Part 24: A Family Affair

My family visited me yesterday, which I appreciated. This week's been a mess of stress, and I needed to get some TLC from the people who matter to me. Car got fixed and did it cost me the money I intended to pay my bills with.  Unfortunately one can't apply for jobs and take interviews without a ride. The end  of this month is gonna squeeze with a strength of a vice grip. Gotta deal with it as it comes.  It's the stuff of hardships.  At least the car's operational at this time.  Thank God.   

It's nice to see people who have time for you and enjoy being around me. I've said it before, there are others who are less fortunate than others when it comes to support.  I'm reminding you to be strong, and don't forget to love yourself.  I was stressed, and tired, but I made it through, and so will you.  One less my family taught me is you can let go and be rid of a gang of pain. If you can, reach out to your peeps. if they don't respond, find someone who's interested and at least willing to tell you their opinion or wish you good luck.  If they not talking back, they not gonna help you in the long run.  

Unemployment Sucks 23: Shake It Off

Rejection is so disheartening, and I got another email confirming I didn't get yet another job I applied for.  Sometimes I look at the messages, laugh, and move on.  It does suck being unemployed, but no time to mope and feel sorry for myself. Bad news does leech onto my good spirits, and rejection is that kick nobody likes to feel unless you're a masochist. Sometimes this coats my world and I feel less shiny and new than I love to feel.

Besides that I've been keeping busy with more applications, half-assing a few things, and feeling my creativity die on the vine, which I hate. This week's been trying as all get out with parking woes, fees I didn't expect, and me trying to get my brain together.  Sometimes I'm happy to lay on the couch and de-stress.  

Been feeling cooped up as of late. Got too caught up in other things to write well. Stress ain't pretty.

Unemployment Sucks Part 22: When Life Kicks You In the Nads

Well the past few days loved reminding me that it has the power to kick me in the nads. It seems like I went from my car crisis to apartment complex crisis, and back to car in the past few days. My nerves are a mess. I'm grateful I got the opportunity to slow down and relax. Was too upset. Didn't eat properly. Now that I mellowed, meals got possible.

To top off my lovely week, yet another Potential job sent me a "thanks but no thanks letter." I have to smile and bear this cause we both know the world doesn't stop with me feeling sorry for myself. It doesn't really stop at all. I was so messed up in the head this week, and the rejection should have been the icing on the cake. Instead it was "meh."

So I'm a little numb to the nads kicking life dealt this week. Talk about hardships. How does one weather this storm? Y'all know I'm staying positive with faith, family and friends. I needed that. Got real blessed with some fees and payments that could've gone ugly real fast.

Needless to say there were no games and a limited
amount of social network time. I read felt that outta control, panic attack sensation I loathe. So nasty. Someday it shall turn around.

So yesterday unemployment really sucked, but I dusted myself off and ready for a new day. I pray there's no more life nads kicking. That shit really hurts.

Unemployment Sucks Part 21: Re-invent Me

This is one of those times where suggestions, a helping hand and good thoughts came my way. For one thing my car is mess right now, and the part I ordered is a mess of not getting here.  I'd love to think that  stress is manageable, but it gets under my skin from time to time. I suppose it wouldn't be stress if it wasn't.  I digress.

I went to the store yesterday with a friend who was kind enough to take me, so I got what I needed, and I was more than grateful to get those errands done. In addition to the coolness of getting things done, one of my siblings suggested I should fully reinvent myself as a full-time writer. It's not like I wasn't creative before, but I got more free time on my hands and I do write all the darn time, right?

Now I need to give myself more assignments and get stuff done on a daily basis.  I suppose the blogs don't count cause I do them all the time. Still a bit exciting and scary.  I need to write down the schedule for projects and keep off the internet while working unless it's necessary.  What a fascinating challenge.  A little scary too.  

So here's to a chance to try a different angle to my productivity. Writer and job hunter by day. The possibilities appear endless.  Let me start with a list, and then get them executed during the week.  It's more like homework that i don't mind doing.  I'll figure this out.

Unemployment Sucks Part 20: Laughing

Part of the reasons I'm loving writing this series is it's keeping me writing on a frequent basis.  That's always good for me.  As I wrote on my Cinema blog, getting to feel humor is a great thing too.  Sometimes the mind needs to unwind, and as someone who loves a good laugh, I need to stop and smell the hot tea in the morning.  I so want coffee but my congestion says "hell no" at this moment.  Trust me, congestion trumps coffee. - I digress.

Today is about not being wrapped too tight in the sense that sometimes being silly can improve my overall mood.  Why am I stressing? I got this wonderful gift to use for myself and for others.  it's time to shine with a God-given talents for life and to be free of the dumbness that is trials and tribulations that I face.  Not making the problems go away (being financially destitute), but I don't have to be upset over events I can't control.  All I really can do is be me and stop worrying, give my efforts all that I can supply, and move on.

In the meantime I got some humor and some love of humor to share, and rather than let that be doused, why not let it shine.  I want to laugh, smile, and enjoy my time.  I wouldn't mind others to laugh and smile as well. So yeah, unemployment still sucks, but I can deal.  Y'all knew I could all the time.  

Kitteh

I like this pic.

Unemployment Sucks Part 19: You Didn't Know

No adventure seems complete without me thinking, "what's next."  Has my life become a 50s serial film complete with cliffhanger? No. Well for one thing a 50s films are long before my time and in the present I simply want to love the moment I'm in. Speaking of moments, one thing important to me is writing, and I now have some short stories I will eventually present to my writing group. I'm excited because it's me doing something in addition to looking for more work, and not going bonkers in the process.

Yes, there's gaming, which I love deeply, and I will play some today, but I need more outlets.  I crave the creativity.  I got a few more projects I need to dig into as well.  Getting to write in this time is a great boon for me.  I hope to use more of my time in a creative fashion.  

Unemployment Sucks Part 18: However, Life Does Not Suck

I find it important to remind myself that while unemployment does suck, my life does not. If it sounds like a contradictions, let me tell you it is not.  First and foremost working is a part of my life, and there are things I mention before about paying your way, and how jobs create structure, and that's gone for the moment.  Well now it's up to me to give myself some structure.  My life doesn't suck because of the love and support I receive. It's what I need and helps me prgroess in a tough economy.

I should mention unemployment benefits are relatively small compared to my former working wages, and trust me, no one should have top live off of them. It's quite humbling.  I see a lesson in here.  I'm constantly redefining how I should live and spend my money.  It's not an ideal station at all, but when I get stripped down to the essentials, it makes me appreciate what I do have.  Still, in the case of emergencies, I would be screwed. Replacing an alternator right now is only possible though my support system. God bless my peeps who remind me that we have to help each other because we don't have anyone else. So unemployment does suck. Support system rules with the utmost.

Unemployment Sucks Part 17: Go Team Reemployment

I'm thinking I shouldn't write this post while listening to Mariah Carey's cover of "Without You,"but it's such a pretty and haunted/dark song. She puts some conviction in her pain. I admire the artistry and talent. Needless to say, this is how I'm working on this post. I'm a deal with it, and now everyone else has to.

Artistry aside, this is me putting more efforts into winning. I'm staying positive, and looking for more places to submit applications and resumes.  The odds are slim, and it's quite the downer.  The song itself isn't making me feel bad, it's the atmosphere of not working.  That sucks wild cat ass. Gonna keep it moving.

I so need to move to another city and find my fortune elsewhere. Dealing with some more budgeting issues really has me in a tailspin that I hope will not be the end of me trying to manage my own funds. I'm reminded that prayer's gotten me through a lot of things. It will help me now.

Since I do have some free time on my hands, it's time to look in this cabinet and see if anything in here is worth keeping.  If it's not, like all the negativity, it has to get the heck out.   This reminds me to play something more upbeat and happy.

Unemployment Sucks Part 16: Untitled

This post reminds me that I started the series of Unemployment Sucks as a way to discuss my struggles with unemployment, hoping to release the negative toxins from my body mind and spirit, and possibly inspire others in similar situations.  It's also allowed me to post more on this blog, which I hadn't been doing in a while.  Writing empowers me, and often gives me a sense of completion and satisfaction.  Why not put that focus to good use and share something more profound and ultimately larger than myself? This post reminds me to not give up in the face of harsh adversities.

There are many unemployed people who don't have any outlet or feel the need for hope, optimism, and/or love. In this economy with a lot of bad things happening all the time, the future feels very, very uncertain, and the love for the world withers and dies on the vine. It's incredibly difficult to not let the negative toxins of unemployment affect your outlook on life, creativity, well-being, and good will. I can tell you holding on by a thread of hope is rough as all get out. Being made to feel at your former place of employment you're a terrible person does hit you in the psyche and the gut.

I made the choice to persevere, because it's rough, but the alternative didn't suit the man that I am. When I came to Savannah, I had plenty of goals in mind, and one was to complete my education.  For the moment that door's closed to me, but I know another will open soon.  Why?  Perseverance demands that I not give up.  I can tell you for sure I'm frustrated a lot because a lot of things simply won't work out in spite of being proactive about seeing reemployment. A lot of things aren't pretty.  I suppose this is a test in life.  I never know what God has in store for me. I do know he gave me this gift to write, and I feel a positive need to make sure to share my experiences.

Thanks and blessings to my family and friends who constantly encourage me to write, stay positive, and strong.  Kudos to all in this situation, and don't know where your next meal or paycheck is coming from. I say some prayers for you. It truly is a disheartening experience to not be able to support yourself, yet I am richer for being able to express my woes. Through God, a path to prosperity shall come our way. I'm feeling empowered by not holding onto the toxins. I love myself enough to keep trying day after day when it feels like there's not real change. I keep writing in hopes one day i will not need to write about unemployment anymore.  
 

Unemployment Sucks Part 15: In the Meantime

Time to get up and about as the upsets have come back into the picture.  By upsets I mean budgeting issues that happen from time to time and make my days rather longer than they need to be.  My alternator died, and that shit's just rough on me. Looking over some prices now for parts and places to order them from.  Ordering is one way to keep the costs down, cause as it stands, the prices is pretty high.  Too high for an unemployed Brother.

I'm reminded at these times, that I must appear like some sort of sad, stereotypical Black man with little or no prospects.  Sometimes I do feel the diminished capacity of my dreams and goals.  I'm not getting younger, after all, and the universe keeps on moving regardless of my status. I'm here to say to all, "perish that line of thinking."

A brother may be down, but keeping his spirits up and about.  I didn't hit rock bottom. I didn't die.  I won't give up.  Of course without a car it makes going to the store a bit difficult.  I need my allergy medicine, which I just ran out of, and a few other supplies. Of course, I also need to make sure I have some money for the alternator.  This remains why unemployment sucks.  I digress.

I have to get myself into a positive mode of thinking. This means looking to see how I can stay positive.  It's time for a writing project.  Let's see, what to write about this time? I think I'm gonna put a lot of effort int my screenplay today.  Why not? I have a lot of free time, and I can do more than gaming or being upset about the upsets.  Life is tough.  I'm tough. I'm a get through the ups and downs with strength, love, and hope.  I pray a lot too, as y'all know.

Unemployment Sucks Part 14: Job Interview

This week's been about running all the errands and completing tasks that needed to get done.  That makes me feel good as well.  In addition, after months of application and resume submission I had an interview yesterday.  So yes, way to go perseverance! Well I think the interview went well.  Let's hope my impression made the employee feel confident.  I felt confident.  It's always good to know talents and skills get attention, so this is a positive thing.  

Yesterday I also had some car issues, that I can't fix immediately. I would feel a lot more confident IF I had a job because I had the money to cover the expense. The perk of unemployment is you will have to wait to resolve things, however it will be resolved. Perseverance rules! As always I have to keep hope alive, and remind myself things improve over time.

Unemployment Sucks Part 13: Try Again

I named this post after the Aaliyah song, "Try Again," which is todays's topic. Rejection of any kind can sting like crazy, but the fact that one doesn't give up is worthy of recognition.  We all face obstacles and pitfalls that knock us down, but we dust ourselves off and get back into the game.  It's really about uplifting our own spirits, minds and bodies so that we can make the difference in the quality of our own lives, and the live of those around us.

Unemployment still sucks, but a Brother has to place his focus on the best things in his life.  Part of that was the gratitude I do have for the positive, and an appreciation for the negative, which comes to everyone all the time.  It cannot defeat us.  It cannot hold us back.  The power to endure and persevere resides in all of us.  Adversities come and go, and we know how to navigate them.

I believe in prayer, God, and fortify myself with many blessings God's bestowed upon me.  I know not everyone believes, but that doesn't mean you can't keep striving for positive outcomes.  You must put positive energy out and sow your seeds.

Now have I felt like giving up, and feeling that agony of defeat? Yes, yes, yes!  I however often feel it's a must to remind myself that I was not made for nothing, and the limitations others wish to place upon me doesn't mean I must accept their thoughts as my own.  So hitting the wall is rough, falling down has a lasting, humiliating blow, like being kicked in the butt by a stranger and falling face first on the concrete. I've learned to not accept a need of validation from those who don't matter.  Those who love and support me matter.  Those who cannot abide fall to the wayside.  It is a truth you will see over and over again.

So onto the next resume and application submission.  My time to shine, like yours, will arrive in due time.

Unemployment Sucks Part 12: Happy 4th of July

This Wednesday seems like a cozy Saturday, and I have some exciting news I hope to share soon. Don't want to get too ahead of myself and we're keeping things moving.  Gratitude is on the plate. 

It's a holiday and I'm fortunate to relax for a bit. It feels good and enjoyable. I need to enjoy the quiet side of a holiday.  Not doing the fireworks sessions, and I know that place will be crowded, and the fireworks are usually fantastic.   

UPDATE:  I wrote this post, and I realized it isn't my typical robust sexy posts.  That's got to go. Admittedly I worked on something that demanded my attention, but I know I can do better than this.  Yes I was exhausted from writing, but now that's over with.

The 4th of July usually means grilling and time with the family, which means a trip home, however, it's not happening, and I wish it did. It's almost a perfect set-up.  I'm currently not working, I could use some family face time, and then there's the food.  Sadly, I got things to take care of, but I don't want to take my family for granted that they will be here, because sometimes we are here one day, and gone the next.

That has less to do with unemployment, but with having love and family. Still, part of this journey is about love, healing, and moving on.  Family is there for these changes.  

Unemployment Sucks Part 11: Gratitude

Sometimes looking at what I have more than what I loss gives me real comfort and strength. I am more than grateful for the love and support of family and friends. They've been the best cheerleaders I could imagine. The well wishes and prayers keep me secure. I love that.

I'm grateful my migraine went away. Stress no doubt brought it on. Resting was the best thing I could do for myself. I came up with a few ideas for scripts I'll share one day. At least talk about the methodology behind them.

I'm grateful for loving myself not to either fall into despair or allowing pain to rule me. Prayer helps and thank God the positive outweighs the negatives.

I'm grateful for the rest I'm able to take. It feels so good to not have annoyances. Makes life sweet. I'm grateful for waking up this morning and a simple breakfast with tea.I'm grateful I haven't given up on hope and love. They make my day.

EDIT: Like post #12 I'm writing some more because quite frankly I can do anything I set my mind to, and it's time to express myself.  First and foremost having a life, living, and improving is my beautiful experiences and I'm grateful for the good and the bad.  The good always outshines the bad, because the bad gets left behind.The strength, love, and joy I have continues to empower me.

I'm also grateful to the negative experiences, because like a little rain, you too shall pass.  I'm reminded of how strong I am, and those around me.  Needless to say, unemployment sucks, and it will pass as well.  I'm grateful for the great power endure my hardships.  Hardships remind us that we are strong.

Unemployment Sucks Part 10: Job Hunting

It's time to look for some new jobs today.  I don't mind the searching part, or the passing out of resumes. It does take it's toll when you realize it feels like a never ending party where everyone's gone home but you, and no one seems to notice. It is what it is.

Today is also an odd day cause the power went out on the the entire block last night.  Dinner by candlelight was not what I was prepared for, but it's what I got.  It wasn't even an awesome meal, LOL it was salad.  I wanted a late night meal without the heaviness of a full meal. All of a sudden, the power went out.  it was dark.  Pitch black dark.  I keep candles and flashlights so I wasn't helpless in the dark.

Power's back on now.  :)

Unemployment Sucks Part 9: Irons In The Fire

Yesterday, like most days had me looking for jobs.  Boy is this market tough.  Since I can't move (yet), I need to keep looking, applying, and submitting.  I feel better that I have hope for my future, and my people keep pushing me to look.  Go peeps! Thanks peeps!  Y'all know who you are.  Y'all make my heart and soul dance to you're unwavering support and love.  It's good to be loved. it's good to know happiness, bliss and a sense of peace.  I know it don't pay the bills, but it brings me things money can't buy.

I have some projects that are non-paying, but I love what I do so the money will come if I maintain the flow of production and energy.  needless to say I spend my free time doing things that are free, and hope that things will get better for me.

Neck's very stiff which means my sleep is off, or I used the wrong pillow again, which is much of the same thing.  It will pass, as always.  It's passing now.  Ah, ibuprofen, my friend.

As always this is a brand new day with plenty of potential.  I'm a get busy with a project or five.  This series still being my favorite at the moment.  Life is good.  Could be better, but a Brother keeps his spirits high.