Unemployment Sucks Part 48: And Then I Got A Job

Never giving up, having support, and simply enduring paid off for me.  I have a job.  For me this is the start of a positive direction, and gets better as time progresses.  Since this is something good for me, I'd like to dwell on this goodness, and thank God and everyone who supported me with will wishes, encouragement, and all around positive energy.  So on a bittersweet note I put the Unemployment Sucks series to rest.  Such a good series as I had to make a gang of adjustments.  I'm not at 100%, but better to get underway with progress, than to be in limbo.

Here's to enduring, surviving, good support from family and friends, and keeping the faith. Now I get to do my happy dancing!!!

Unemployment Sucks Part 47: The Interview

I had an interview a week ago, and so far I'm waiting for a response as to yay or nay.  Ah the pins and needles part of the process.  Job hunting has it's peaks and valleys.  I'm simply pleased the ball's rolling.  As I said before trying to live off unemployment is too rough of an experience.  It's not enough, and I'm better off with a decent job that pays the bills. Otherwise I'd cry, cry, and cry. Well I'm excited, to say the least. Hey if there's a chance of getting to my goals, there there's hope of success.

Yeah, kinda mushy in sentiment, but that's what I need.  Some good ole mushy feelings and goodness to spread around. Thankfully a friend gave me some good mojo and people expressed a lot of well wishes, so for better or worse, at least I have people that want me to succeed, and have good wishes for me.  So as I love the well wishes, part of the reason i'm being looked at is at the very least is my skills being in-demand. I'm praying for success.

Writing's been a challenge this week.  not due to the interviews, but my mind was more than distracted. I was supposed to publish this post sooner, and forgot it was in draft.  Now I'm cleaning it up and making it look a bit more full.  Today I'm going to look over some jotted notes on a concept.  I hate when I go to bed and have ideas.  I typed it all into my notes application.  it seems inspiration hit me.  Then sleep hit me.  At the very least I have part of today's post completed.  Adding to it on;y makes the pot more savory.

Unemployment Sucks Part 46: Visiting The DMV

It's about that time I renew my driver's license, and I put that off for so long.  yesterday I went to the DMV to make this happen.  I knew it took verification, BUT didn't have it all together.  I needed my birth certificate, SS card, the old license, and two proofs of residency, which was a utility billy and/or my voter's registration paperwork. I only had one utility bill.  Fortunately for me the voter's registration was like on the back of the building.  I had to go to there and verify my info, then return to the DMV.  All done.

Need to clean the apartment.  it looks a mess, as it always does.  I want to at least make the living room look presentable. I'm like meh at the moment. I know better.  Sometimes I feel like I'm 22 and in college again. Like it's cool to be indifferent to all this mess.  Let's start on my dining room table, and get that into shape, then work my way around some other staff, like my printer area.  Mess, mess, mess.

Slacked off on the writing again, but sometimes I feel like not writing.  Still hoping for a job, and while yesterday provided a lot of good things, including a friend's good wishes so it's time to make stuff happen.

Is today the first day of fall?  Hadn't looked outside but I'd love to see the summer weather cool down.

Unemployment Sucks Part 45: Like a Boomerang

Looking at improving my day and I realize I'm not writing well. For me this is odd. Did I drink enough water, or eat enough?  All I'm getting is a few sentences out of me, which may mean I need to stop writing and chillax. Promised myself to limit my social media interaction (meaning Facebook, which I live on) in order to get things done, and I'm finding when I turn on the computer all I want to do is goof off and not write. It's far more easier to goof off than write. Writing requires thought and my poor mind doesn't want to work.

I do know that I'm writing this "starter" paragraph and allowing it to cool off, then coming back to add and revise. Perhaps that's the writing lesson for today, to write something briskly, and return like a boomerang. Since I prayed about getting my writing in order, among other things, I feel a need to write more than what I have.  I'm feeling there's nothing to say, and waiting for inspiration, however the reason I started this series on my blog was my unemployment. Is that not an ongoing topic?

Well today was like several of the others. I still have my life and health. My finances could use some level up powers or Viagra to get it up. I'm still the man 'cause in spite of going all emo, I'm getting stuff written. I made some personal goals today I want to jump on. That means pushing more story out and believing that I can get this damn post to my typical standards. It's not like potential and opportunities went completely away.

A little known fact is that I revise several of my posts before and after I publish them. It means I need to get better at writing.  BTW I have all these ideas I told myself to jot down, and went off goofing on Facebook. In that case I sabotaged myself. That's not what I need right now. I need to get myself together once more. I got a lot of work to do and only I can get it done. No time to be scared of what could be, cause what have now isn't much.

Unemployment Sucks Part 44: Bust Dat Move

Been laying low from writing, like I can't do it, which is a HUGE mistake.  If there's anything that I do well, it's creativity, and I've put off my creativity for some time now.  Been feeling low, but now that reason's entered my mind again, it's time to handle my biz and make do with what I have in front of me, and getting over myself (again).  I need to get my head back in the game, cause the truth is only I can do what needs to be done for my welfare. If it means tracking down job leads, writing, hell, singing telegrams, I gotta do what needs to be done to make living worth a damn.

Job hunting did yield some fruit from the vine, but I'm keeping this under my hat until it pans out completely.  You will hear me sing if it works out.  I'm a leave it be because it's something that's out of my hands. I trust in my skills and persona, and that's all one can do.  No more doubt on this part.  Getting things done is the priority.

Writing hasn't been a pain, it's just that I've been real lazy and loving the laziness. I could and should do better for myself.  Granted I felt a bit low on some days, and I do take pen to paper, but I know I need to do more.  I seem to be distracting myself with goofing off, gaming, and all the freedoms I didn't have.  Well this can't keep going.  Where does the creativity go if I don't use it? It seems like a waste of energy, so I best get myself in gear.

I have to be honest, this page was two paragraphs, and I felt like it wasn't good enough to post.  It felt weak, like I wasn't putting effort into the mix.  That's changed, and now I feel better about writing this without wondering what the hell was wrong with me.  Sometimes inspiration, procrastination, and creativity get wrapped up into one for me.  Need to keep writing.  I'm a mess.

Unemployment Sucks Part 43: My Mean Seasons

NOTE: I wrote this post a few days ago, got upset, and feared even publishing it. I suppose truth hurts, and I'm not perfect.  Sometimes my days don't go well.  It's true I never give up,yet at the same time there needs to be some time where I acknowledge the pain of being unemployed.

One of the reasons I didn't want to post it is cause truth hurts, and I needed to to take a look at myself.  I also feared the truth, which there was no need to.  Also after saying it I wondered if I should put this out not because it does make me feel vulnerable and week.  I thought about it.  This is where unemployment brought me, and I did say it sucks, so why am I hiding it now?  This is my reality.

***
Let's be honest, I'm not happy right now.  I'm trying to get myself together, and after nearly a year of application submitting, seminars, and resume building, I still don't have a job. My interviews have been sparse and I do mean sparse. No I'm not giving up on finding a job, but damn this is a struggle.  When I leave my home I'm reminded I don't have anything, and of course I'm upset.  I haven't been without a job like this since I started being gainfully employed many, many years ago.  Now I'm stressed, tired, frustrated, and upset.  I've likely made myself annoying to others about talking about being unemployed and how I became unemployed. My unhappiness became others unhappiness. That's not what I want for my life, nor is that what I want to give to others.  

Discussing unemployment does wear down on me, but at the same time how can I not discuss it? Quite frankly unless my status changes I'm going to have nothing.

NOTE 2: After I wrote this I noticed a change in me.  Perhaps my frustration went out with this post. I simply don't know.  I do know that I wanted to watch more movies, go outside and enjoy a causal drive. I wrote more fiction after months of feeling like my negative emotions ruled my thoughts. I was being unfair to myself, and in that unfair to all around me.  Also I don't want my life to feel like a sandpit.  Things aren't working the way I planned, but if my energy shifted from negative to positive only good things can follow.

It's going to take some work to get myself completely away from the negative mode, but I'm more than willing to start looking for the doors that opened to me as the old ones closed.  It's been some mean seasons, but into my life change must come.  How I handle change is up to me.

Unemployment Sucks Part 42: Labor Day Weekend

Since I did one blog post already, it's time for a second, and possible third. It's a Labor Day weekend and I'm laying low. Quite frankly with little money at my disposal why not lay low? Why not prepare a simple meal for dinner and enjoy the peace and quiet of this time? I'm gonna make some spaghetti. As luck would have it I have Italian sausage in my freezer to thaw out and use.

Not having money sucks, but I'm focusing on the positive. For example I was inspired with a story and worked on the first draft last night. It was a step in a positive direction to free my mind of negativity and otherwise depressing thoughts. Loving the idea that inspiration takes me places higher than where I am now. The mood lift and inspiration is a blessing and a good thing to keep me moving.

Hadn't been outside but it looks hot. The sun's shining like it wants to be seen and heat us up. For me that means stay indoors and write stuff. I'm obeying my instinct. I do have some writing to develop and I can't do that outside. I can sweat and say, "I should be inside" if I go play outdoors. I got plenty to keep me busy and hopefully produce some results.