Don't Apologize

The other day I apologized for discussing something because I thought it was too shocking for a presentation. I realized later that I was really being over sensitive, and trying to second guess my audience. Please note, that you can't create like this. If people are disturbed, then it sucks for them, but often when I write or present, my goal is not to offends. It's just too limiting to second guess peeps.

My Favorite Kappa Mikey Scene

Finals: I Need More Than A Latte

Class is done. I stayed up all night siting my paper in Chicago style, and capping off my presentation. I may have three hours of sleep. I want more than a latte. I think I want the java chip tonight. I need to get a haircut too. It ain't happening today. Of course I am nervous if I did the citation proper, or enough. :-( If I didn't worry then i think I would have a problem, as worrying usually means I have put more time and care into a project.

Exodus

I am leaving a part of me behind and looking forward to change. It's me putting myself first, and working on ways to be happier. I have some pastel paper, and my pastels. I am so gonna rock some new images soon, and do my best to get them into galleries. Yes, I am multitasking, but I want to be happy, and drawing makes me happy. So it is a goodbye to what I thought I knew as my limitations. This is my exodus, but not from Eden, but from the old ways that constrained me.

My Meltdown

I was having a bit of my own meltdown when I found out my MFA program, Contemporary Writing was phased out for a new program called "Professional Writing." Contemporary has only been around for a year, and I was ready to get into my classes. Well, I didn't know what the complete changes were, and unfortunately, since the change recently happened, not too many details were finalized. "Meltdown" seems as tame as to what I felt.

I did some calling and emailing. I even thought about changing my major so I don’t have to deal with the chaos that was wrought to me. I ignored my instinct to stay were I am, and not worry. Realistically, I don’t have to change. The equivalents of certain programs would be offered, and I could take those.

As to why I ignored my own judgment. Well, s bit of my confidence was eroded. I was proud I belonged to a program I am so willing to back. Peeps were telling me, "Stacy, you could get into speech writing, work for campaigns. Maybe you could get into scriptwriting, and create TV shows." You just got to love growing potential and interest in your chosen area of studying. I could feel my budding career slipping away from me.

Let me let you know that I put out a spectacular portfolio to get into the contemporary writing program. My portfolio was a mix of fiction and non-fiction pieces I worked on. I only needed twenty pages; I gave twenty-nine (with a max of thirty).

My acceptance into the MFA program is conditional, and I need to complete three preliminary courses before I can be full accepted into the program. I have two literature classes & one scriptwriting course at the undergrad level to take and pass with a “b.” Well, I can handle this. It’s not that deep of a challenge, and if I look at this from the standpoint that I have taken lit classes before (they didn’t transfer, which is too bad)., and I have a chance to have some refresher material, then I shall be fine.

Mystery Men

The "Mystery Men" was done around the same time. I rather love these images. I never looked back at them, and called them mystery men because That's who they are to me. Like shadows or ghosts. beings we cannot take full hold of, yet they are in our lives. Evolution is strong because it was the first. It's twin, which I did mixed media on, is somewhere in my collection. I need to find and take it's picture so you can see it. Clearly my adventures in monotypes was taking shape. I love the rich blacks I created.

A woodblock, I call "The Movement," will be shown at a later date, but had I not done the "Mystery Series," I would not have made room for the "Movement."

Evolotion Is It's Name

Evolution is the name of this monotype. It came to me, along with a set of "mystery figures" while trying to work out a theme. My printmaking skills are limited, and in hindsight I wish I did more to develop them, but I love the expressive qualities of the prints I did. You'll be seeing more, shortly.

One Good Reason…

Can anyone give me one good reason I am still not picking up my pastels or charcoal and working my passions out on Mi Tiens drawing paper?

Some things are lost to me, and yet here presents a moment to reflect on what I do have.

Look at this art. I am in awe. I suppose a divorce between me and the art has happened. I can look at my art and for better or worse and know I can go higher.

What can I say, in retrospect, and looking at my work, I see something I like in the work. There’s a sense of energy and passion so strong, and unyielding to others. I never made art to represent anyone. I needed a release, and the opportunity to set my energy free.

Finals

Reading articles, books, taking pictures, making scans, writing theory on the representation of masculinity in art. I am eating, sleeping, breathing this paper, and I have to say it's been exhausting. Let's not forget it must be cited in Chicago style format, and MLA style is not what I can use.

More Kappa Mikey Goodness

Adventure, Drama, Pain, Fun

The words of my post title don't normally go together, however I feel strongly that they did yesterday and today. Yesterday my sinuses went for a hostile takeover of my face. I could feel the pressure they put on me, as the day went on.

I had to get up early for some mandatory benefits meeting. After the night shift, all I wanted to do is sleep, and then i felt that pressure on my jaw, like a jackhammer. I had to run my errands, and that was on the uncomfortable side. Spent too much money in the grocery story, and now I am pissed, yet I know I should be able to make dinner for the foreseeable future.

I need to have my car checked. My Mom asked me how many miles I had on it, I said around 65,000. She was like she was positive I had more than that (the car's a 2001, and I had it since 2002). Needless to say I don't go too many places. if I trade it in, I hope the low milage will be a plus.

Need to go away and write my paper that I should have done sooner, but when you feel beat, what do you do.

P.S. My friend Earlene got married today. I went to the wedding, and had a good time, danced and ate. I'm happy my friend is happy.

More LOLCATS

I love this Pix.--It Brought My Spirits Up

Would You See This Biopic

P. Diddy wants to produce a biopic of the late Notorious B.I.G. Would you go see it when its done?

Amused for All the Wrong Reasons

Foxy Brown's busting people in the head with her Blackberry? Watch out Naomi, somebody's on your turf.

Let's hope Brown learns to mellow out. Save that drama for the CD's. When the Ill Na Na is bustin people with BB, y'all betta watch out, or she's bust a call in your ass.

Erotic Super Heroes

Because I teased Aggie one day about creating erotic themed super heroes, my mind has run upon this idea and formulated a concept. I swear I am machine with creative concepts. Well, this goes on the back burner, but I need to write out the notes for the concept. It's funny and sexy.

The Writing Fool I Am

Scribbled more notes for my final paper. I am pleased I am thinking more of what I want to say. I failed to read a few of the articles I printed, however, I think that I will do this over the full week-end I have instead of the one day. I have done my LAST day of OT last week. the whole quarter was OT. I wore myself thin. Working six days a week? OT has not been as good as I would have liked it to be. :-(

The paper is on the representation of masculinity in contemporary art. This was harder than I thought, and my initial paper was on the human figure in contemporary art. I wanted a challenge, more so than the female figure, which is always discussed, and wondered if I a writer, artist, and man could look at the role of masculinity, and see what I offered to the medium, and discuss the works of other artists.

Interestingly, female artists creating representatives of men, are mainly photographers. I found there were a lot more female photographers, and more male painters. I will also be showing several pieces of my own artwork to discuss my own interpretations of masculinity. I need to put the presentation and the paper together by this weekend so I can edit it proper.

Murder Your Darlings

Special thanks to Sarah, for her help. I needed an objective voice concerning a script I wrote. Sarah came through, and gave me some serious pointers and story issues to work the kinds on out. This requires me to murder my darlings, so to speak. I have to make some changes that will help the story become clear to the artist, and to the reader. It's hard work, but I can get this script completed proper. Its hard work.

My Lesson From Long, Long Ago

One summer night, I took a nice hot bath. I was so relaxed when I got out of the tub. I felt so good. I dried off, and went to bed. Woke up the next day feeling good. Went to work the next day, and all was fine until I smelled some funk. I was like, "damn, who's all stink at work?" Well I was the funky one. In all my relaxing I did not put on any deodorant. A simple car ride to work in the hot sun made me stinky. I ruined my good bath. Nonetheless Inside the building was freezing so I wore my fleece all afternoon.

The moral of my story: Take a shower and don't relax.

House Cleaning

I have a sink full of dirty dishes to manage. I wish my little apartment had a dishwasher. :-(

More Kappa Mikey Silliness

Writing...

Well, began a little more writing on my final paper in contemporary art. I have a feeling this paper will keep me up until three for a couple of days, which won't be so bad. I need to check my syllabus to check the dates proper. I will scream bloody murder if its due sooner than I think. :-(

Began having ideas, and implementing them on a few scripts I was working on. One of them was a short story I thought to expand into a mini series. Why? Well I have more to write with these characters. What was six pages is now nine. Likewise I have the impulse to write more on other stories I abandoned and have since reclaimed. I tell you, I am so unorthodox in my method. Still, when I get to it, I work it. I can't slow the flow down.

I have a few ideas I may handwrite tonight, if I don't get to my 'puter. I'm feeling that giving to the writing.

Gotta Work On Me

I'm feeling mellow, and I am looking to make an active change in my life. Sadly, sometimes I feel like I have not taken enough control of my life to maintain my status quo. Needless to say the time to get off my duff and get shit done is now, not an hour later, not when I get home, but now, as I write this entry. I want to be free of all the bull shit and make positive choices with positive results, and yield greater slices of the pie. This is not for gluttony's sake, but I'd like to be able to do more than get by. My mind has such a ghetto to it. I feel like sometime I move too slow, when I could be that tiger making that leap.

The questions remain:

• What do I, Stacy R. Haynes want out of life and for my life?
• How will I achieve my goals?
• Where do I want to be now, and in the future?
• Just how do I define myself, and how do I want to be perceived by myself and others?
• Why do i think I can't have fun and be serious?

I can be all that I dream of, but I have to want it. Ain't nobody's gonna take control for me, so I have to get in there and strike while the iron's in the fire. There is no turning back.

Not For Nothing

...But I told myself to stop sweating small stuff. This needs to be my mantra, which I failed at a few days ago. Let me explain. I got a traffic ticket (speeding--who knew), and I paid it-late. Well the letter went to the address on my driver's liscence, which is back home in Charleston. My mom calls me and tells me the DMV sent a letter. I told her to send it to me, and she becomes angst-ridden, in what can only be an attempt to make me crazy. I'm like Mom, chill, I paid it, but does she listen? Noooo. "Stacy, blah, blah, blah."

Anywhoo she goes on and on, and quite frankly I was spent. I was like, Mom calm down. I have the receipt for the ticket. That wasn't good enough. She called me back after I got off the phone with her to tell me not to speed. I laughed, becuase she was like doing that irritating Mom thing, like when she says don't forget to season your food. Mom, really? Forget to season my food? I laugh at myself sometimes. It's all small stuff.

Kappy Mikey clip (animation)

This Is Me Today

I am simply writing and trying to rest. Decided to listen to some music. Some mixed CD's are worth my time! :-) A mix of R&B slow jams (old school), and some contemporary R&B jams. Y'all, when is Toni Braxton gonna put out some more music?

Not feeling like much. May order pizza for dinner. it's too damn hot outside. I opened my door, and closed it right back. All that heat ain't called for. LOL A brother already got a tan. he don't need a tan on top of tan. Yet my legs are like light brown. I can't wear shorts to work, and they can't stand the heat. It's not a farmers tan, lol, but still, they are without sun. :-(

My Cyborg Name

Get Your Cyborg Name

MultiTasking...

I have to go through several artists portfolios to find the right one for the project. I have gotten so many responses, I had to break them down and take it one step at a time. I see some very talented people, and its a shame I can't get them all, but I gotta keep myself on current. Find a single artist to work with on my latest project. I am sure I will find the artist worth my time. It doesn't happen overnight.

This Is Funny

61 year old man has his allowance taken away. He's been naughty. LOLOL Read it for yourselves.

My Art IX

Here is a portion of one of my walls that I filled with my drawings. Several of them should look familiar to you. This is my drawing section. The drawings are done in Conte Crayon or pastel. There are a few watercolors, and some mixed media images.

I hope to take more pictures, so you can see the full wall. For this photo, I trimmed the images size and adjusted the levels and colors in photoshop. No filters or other effects are applies.

The Phantom Menance

I remember telling myself to not buy the Phantom Menace when it comes out on DVD. I had forgotten why I did that. It's playing on HBO and now I remember why I hated this damn movie. How I loathed Jar-Jar Binks. I even hated little Anakin Skywalker. Darth Maul was too cool to live past this movie, as was Qui Gon Jin (name still sounds like a fancy drink). What was with those aliens who sounded Asian (or had fake Asian-esque accents)? Why is R2-D2 there? Nothing seemed fun about the movie.

Tired...

I think I've reached my burn out point. That is to say I have reached a point where I am so tired that I could go home now, get into bed, and fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. That's a rare feat for me, but I think its doable tonight.

I have been working six days a week, and I really ready to pull back on that. No matter how much the "team needs" I can't do it, and a friend has a wedding coming up soon. I don't want to look like ragged death at her wedding. Lord, it would look like a zombie made it to the party. Class is going well, but I really need a day to not do anything. No emails, no bill paying, Just a movie or two, that may watch me more than I watch them.

Tomorrow I have to do all my errands, and go to the grocery store, and cook (I am so using the crock pot tomorrow). I wanted to buy a new phone, as its time to upgrade. Tonight I'm so drained and a migraine has come along.

Enough indulging in the pain. I will mellow out for the rest of the night, then close up shop, and I am going HOME to rest.

My Art VIII

This is a triptych I did a while back. For those who have seen previous work, it resides next to the "blue dress," which hangs on my wall. This is oil on gessoed watercolor paper. I did these three at the same time, so the colors match without me trying to mix for the right combo again. LOL I hated when that happened. My professor thought the characters were dancing. I dig the colors a lot. They have an energy that I cannot explain, but they are amazing. I do think all of my drawings and paintings are real personal. They have a way of revealing things without saying it.

ASIDE; Took a trip to two galleries and saw paintings priced $30,000 (let me let you know it didn't look like it was worth $30.00 to me).

My brother said I should be displaying my own works. Michael Tyzack would want me too (he didn't say that, I just miss my professor.

Go Artwork.

I want to thank my friends for their responses to my art. I said this before, and it was that in spite of my skills I was very self-conscious, and afraid to show what I have done. I always received encouragement, and I have a BA in art, and it is a shame I don't do more with my degree, especially when I know I can do more. Here's to me finding the time to do my artwork more.

Oh, I bought a new digital camera, so now I can post more artwork. :-) That so rocks!

Break Out Your Crock Pots

It's almost time to cooks something in the crock pot. I am so feeling some Lima or field peas. OMG when it's good and hot, served with rice, and collards on the side, I have a great meal. I am so ready for a good time with the old crock pot. I haven't used it since last year, and I really want some "just like Momma used to make" feelings with my foods. I promised myself I would hang back from the steaks for a few more meals, so I can enjoy it once again, when the time is right. For that matter, I want to make some gumbo. I know, I know, one big meal at a time. Still I can use a great cooking experience to make me feel good.

Tungry II

Getting tungry again (tired+hungry=tungry keep up with Stacy math). About to go splurge on something to make me feel better food wise. A brother be needing a meal to keep him going. He may just settle for tired, and sleep where his is, and I can't have that.

My Art VII

This set is on my wall, and I love it. Worked on these for a while. There is one back in Charleston that I need to claim so that my home has the right touch.

My Art VI

I did this piece a while ago. I have it on my wall. I love this painting. It reminds me of a time when i had the freedom to paint and develop images. It that respect I am very happy to show my paintings on my blog.

Language Test

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English 20% Dixie 15% Yankee 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Because I'm Feeling It

Don't want to write, and I have barely gotten my bibliography together for my final paper. I am so tired, and so not wanting to be here. I so need some sleep big time. I need a latte to get my motor running. I also didn't bring my dinner cause I was tired. Silly me. How dare I need sleep. So here I am waiting for the next thing to happen.

New Hats

So I am very nervous about getting the ball rolling again with proposing my comic book to publishers. My heart is racing. People are responding to the ad I placed on Digital Webbing, and I am very blessed to have the script completed, although I am thinking of some keen revisions for certain sequences.

Needless to say, if I were not nervous, then i should be worried. When I feel that nervous feeling I know I am on track. I just told Aggie I was going to bust my Art History paper and this story out, so I have got to get this shit done proper. Let me let you know that I am serious about writing. This does not even encompass what else I am doing, but I know what's at the top of the list.

Can we add "producer" to my resume? I like the sound of it. It makes me feel great.

Alarm Clocks and My Own Errors

Ok, I swore I set my alarm clock, and I was in la-la land with no regrets, however, what I thought was so wrong. Not only did I not set my alarm, I failed to take it off mute. I was like, I'm feeling this sleep until I peep my clock, which said 10:07! I was so mad. I rolled outta bed half awake, and my eyes stinging like crazy. Allergies were bugging the heck outta me. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, got dressed, and was out the door for class. Made it on time. Needless to say, I should have set the alarm clock earlier that day when i had the damn time to do it.

Churgle: The Movie

Y'all know I don't feel like much blogging today, but I said I will do at least five sentences. Gotta keep the mind flowing. Writing is a river and all. Can't dam up the flow. It will run over.

Made my chicken Alfredo too rich, as my stomach is battling with me. It started churgling (churning+gurgling=churgling-I love Stacy math). Next thing you know I was in the bathroom. Thank God I was in the privacy of my own apartment. One never wants to be anywhere if you start churgling. Made sure to stock up on Lactaide, and Pepto. yes I did. A brother can't put himself out there without some backup. Like the movie cops in a shootout, and his partner has to cover him.

In my defense I OD'ed on the milk products. Sunday I had Ben & Jerry's, and garlic bread topped with mozzarella & cheddar. Too much milk product. Again, like movie cops, a brother played the maverick, and went in without his backup. A brother got tagged but good. He payed the price for his disregard for the rules. Thou shall not fuck around with the milk products.

Deep Genre

A blog for writers, by pro writers in science fiction & fantasy. Every bit helps. Take in please.

Dazed and Refused

Well, it's another charming day at the ranch. It's all kooky. Slept extra late, and enjoyed it! Got up to hear on Larry King that John Lovitz beat up Andy Dick. Y'all, sometimes it doesn't pay to have your TV on CNN, or Judge Hatchet (baby momma/DNA tests), or CBS soaps (Brooke Logan is still a ho). I am so not interested. Checked my email, and I was looking for some clothes online. Yes, its an easy way to window shop. Look at all the stuff I can't have.

Midterms and the Final Paper

Taking a quick break from doing things to reflect on the fact that I have a final paper (12-15 pages) to complete. A friend said this was a thesis, and another confirmed that it might as well be a thesis. I wanted to do the human figure in contemporary art, and my professors suggested I narrow it to either the female nude in contemporary art, or masculinity in art. I gots my work cut out for me. I weep for for my once free time. LMAO! Y'all know I love a good challenge.

Chicken Alfredo, the Dinner!

So, I decided that I would cook, after running some errands and having an extra class section on final papers (12-15 pages-yes I know, bring on the drama). At first, I thought I was going to buy some fast food, but changed my mind. I decided that I should cook. Went to the grocery store, and bought the ingredients for chicken Alfredo. It was either that or spaghetti. Let me tell you how it’s done.

I like to cook some boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I season them with salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, and sear them in the pan. Next I sauté some mushrooms, onions, and bell peppers. I make the noodles separately. For the Alfredo sauce, I buy the jarred stuff, but then I jazz it up. A little salt, some red pepper flakes, butter, garlic, some heavy cream, and Parmesan cheese, and a dash of nutmeg. I cut the meat into chunks, then I add noodles, veggies, and chicken into the sauce. I add it in doses, so I can get the all the food coated in the sauce.

Italian seasonings blend well with the chicken, so you have a great taste alone. The chicken breast can be its own meal. I’m having salad on the side. I have a good sized pot, so I don’t have to cook for a few days. J

My Road to Independence

Been thinking about how I have wanted a better life for myself, and how I could get that. It's been a hectic road, and I often didn't take stock in what I do for myself. Well, while driving to work I realized I should take this up with the highest authority. So I asked God to help me help myself. Honestly, I want to feel love for myself, and know the strength I have, so that I can move from being too relaxed to the more proactive graduate student.

I've been thinking of how I had to struggle with my jobs and college work in order to get where I am today. I need to keep the fires burning, and make sure I am on top of things.

Her Virtue Roughened © Stacy R. Haynes

Practice writing

Her Virtue Roughened © Stacy R. Haynes

Harold pulled Eve closer to him. He yanked her so quick, her head bobbed, and she lost her breath.

"You like that, eh?" He said while smiling. "Nobody's around. It's just you and me." He was nearly drooling with satisfaction. She regained her senses and turned her head away from him. Even his cologne began to repulse her. She pushed away with great force. Her blouse ripped in the process.

"Back off!" She said. "Nobody manhandles me." She was a tigress, ready to strike.

Harold's eyes were as cold as a lump of coal and fixed upon Eve as he walked up to her. She didn't cower. She didn't back down. She didn't see his hand as it hit her so hard across the face. She saw stars for a second. She felt his arms on her shoulders again.

"Don't you ever pull away from me!" He demanded, as he violently shook her. She could smell stink of the Scotch on his breath. She felt ill, as he pulled her close and forced his tongue down her throat. She felt the disgusting taste of his spit, kneed him in the nuts as hard as she could.

He broke off his bear hug, letting go of her. He fell to his knees, shocked out of breath, and holding his crotch for dear life. Tears swelled in his dark eyes.

"You dumb broad, I'll kill you!" He huffed out in a higher pitched voice. He didn't see it, but he felt the full weight of a vase crashing against the back of his skull. He fell face forward onto the floor. He was out cold.

"Son of a bitch!" Eve shouted, trying to compose herself. She touched her face where he slapped her. It stung like crazy. She grabbed her compact to check herself out. Her face was red, with the shape of his hand on her face. "Oh God." She moaned. "I hate fucking temp jobs." She gathered her things and left.

The Write Stuff

Been writing here and there, but still writing, and typing things out. The short story, I accidentally left home (this serves as a tel to pack my bag before its time to leave). I would have edited it. it's a nine page story, that I have mixed feelings about, and rather has some rather true to life elements I did not foresee. Nonetheless it begs to be revised with fresh eyes.

Second short story has mutated. I did this one a while ago and sat on it for a long while. This is a fantasy-based story, and I think I can add it to my novel, which is also fantasy based. I don't know yet, but the short story has a life of its own. I need to be able to find the direction for it. It's a wild voice right now, in need of some direction.

The erotic short story. OMG What have I gotten myself into? It's very racy, at some points raunchy, and I feel a need to leave it alone for a while and return after I get over my conservative voices yapping in my ear. I'm feeling real dorky about now. So out of my comfort zone, which I wanted. I feel a strong need to finish what I started.

The comics. The comic scripts. I am so knee deep in the scripts. New four-issue comic to complete, among the several scripts (I worked on their first chapters), and a sequel to the first comic. It seems I have become a writing fool.

Question of the Day

What am I doing to improve my living, and happiness? I need to know the answer, because I fell a little like I'm in a static phase, and that has to change. What about the rest of y'all? Is there something cool going on you'd like to share. I'd love to hear about it, and be inspired by success.

I Need To Cook Something

In spite of my sleep, I DREAM of time to cook. I want a huge pot of spaghetti. It will last about a week, and if I take my time and slow cook the sauce, I will have some damn good eating. I want a salad to go on the side, and some garlic butter bread with three cheeses baked on the top. I am so ready for the weekend so I can have the time to prepare this meal.

I Am So Tired

It's been a long day already. Midterm was today. Art appropriation was the topic. Discussion was the main word. Found out that the research paper has to be done in Turabian style. Gotta love the MFA program. After years of MLA on the undergrad level, we now get Turabian (Chicago Style). A brother gotta keep on his toes if he knows what's good for his GPA and academic career.

Art

Tried to read up on Appropriation art, and quite frankly, its a bore. I did read about Jeff Koons, and he is quite the character. Some of his art is so boring, I was neither amused or contemptible. It was more like meh? I wasn't feeling him. He was, however, very self-promoting and able to polarize art the community.

Time is...

I have so many things to do. Too many things. I found myself cleaning my bathroom, while ironing clothes, jotting down story ideas, and reading a book I was supposed to review. I am so stressed right now, and not in a good way. Managed to wash the hair and shave that wild shrub off my face. Did I mention that while shaving, hair got in my eye. Shampoo didn't drip in my eyes, but beard hair can reach my eyes? My eyes! It was removed. Crisis solved.

Do I have dinner for work today? I don't know. I'm not spending and cash this week (I hope) on eating out. I am rather upset, and feel a little hectic. About to get off line and relax. Did I mention I have a discussion tomorrow, so I have to do some research on this as well. Thank God I'm only taking one class. A friend is taking two, and she is even more stressed from the classes alone.

Sleepy

Had some food, and now I am tired. LOL Why? it was break time, and I need to eat before I leave. Why don't I just lay on the floor. ICK. LMAO! One of the perils of a meal. Oh, the sin was I had some mocha chocolate chip ice cream with it as well. I knew better. I simply wanted a treat. Did I mention i did two pages for a new short story? I did deserve a treat, also have a new mini series to script.

Self Portrait

Playing with Photoshop again, which is a pastime of mine. Love the effect, and it looks lovely. I seem to be capturing my more quieter, pensive moods of late.

Get's Ta Writin'

Been bitten by the bug to write, while feeling that overworked feeling. Fell asleep after eating a sandwich, and now I gotta do, what an artist has to do. I want some sweet tea. No, I shouldn't have it. I shouldn't have bean burritos either, but it never stopped me before. Hadn't cooked this week-end and I am going to have to do better, so I don't have to spend too much money on food during the week.

Best Kept Secrets

I want to thank the people who read my blog, or my blog on myspace. What people are telling me is that they enjoy reading my blog, and that has made my day. I think many of the bloggers I read and comment on have very easy-going blogs. These blogs are more personal in nature, and are great reads. I am proud to have links for others to see/read at the top of my blog.

That reminds me, I need comb over my links and add some more blogs. :-)

Kill That Noise

Last night, after getting into bed, and drifting asleep, I was awakened to the lovely sounds of one of my neighbors’ bass heavy stereo. Said neighbor invited friends, and commenced to party like no one else lived in the nearby apartments.

It was after 1:00 AM, and I needed my sleep. I tried not to be aggravated, and I tried to ignore them, but the more they partied, the louder the music became. I could deal with loud people, but the bass was all in my place. Even worse, it was like a loop of songs with the same or similar beats going. It was relentlessly annoying.

Y'all know if I did that mess, the neighbor would be upset, right? Enough was enough, and I called the cops. Honestly, my neighbor was all about disrespecting other people. It was all about their good time. Well things quieted and I was able to go back to sleep, after a while. I know if it happens again, I am calling the cops again, because the apt manager seems neutered on this.

Take the Bull By The Horns

Ok, this is me contemplating my next move with a six-issue comic book I've written. My artist dropped out due to other obligations, and I have waited for over four months from one publisher to no avail. Such is life. What to do... Why I'm going to hire an artist, and possibly assemble a team to produce the package so that I can send out the comic to publishers interested in looking at the full material. Instead of feeling helpless or frustrated, I prefer this method, as I know I can get things done. It has changed my mindset, and made me feel more optimistic about my chances of getting published.

Love Your Thursdays

Ladies and Gentleman,

Take your Thursdays by the hand, and lead this passionate dance. Pull it closer to you. Feel your Thursday right on your chest. Look Thursdays in the eyes. Let it know that you love this tme and day. Don't you dare look away, as we all know for the dance to have passion, your eyes can't lie. If you don't know how, then you best fake it. Kiss your Thursdays, caress it. Let it know you care.

Share My Disdain

Reading a book called The Reenchantment of Art. Let me say that at some point I am finding the subject to be on the pretentious side. I have read so far, and I am condensing what I have read, that society has lost its sens of wonder. The spiritual side, the psyche, and the soul are empty. Art is created without the sens of wonder and curiosity that it has. The world is mundane. Art reflects the mundane. There needs to be a return to the intangible sides of creativity. What have I gotten myself into? I need to finish the book, but so far I am less than thrilled with my progress.

Writing Things Out

Well, I gave the short story some time, and began hand-editing the pages earlier today. It needs some work, and I admit that clarifying what the characters mean will more than likely make me scream, but I love a good challenge. So I do this without looking at the fact that I will cut out lines, and add new ones.

I am so tired. I loathe getting up early, as I have transformed myself into a creature of night. Now I know when the alarm clock goes off I have to get ready for class. Speaking of class Contemporary Art has proven parts interesting, parts shocking, parts boring as hell, and several parts disgusting. Let me tell you several artist turn me off so bad. One day I will have to post what I have learned, so all readers can be repulsed as well.

My Art V

This picture was taken a while ago, and saved on my HD for whatever reason. Didn't want to post it. Observant viewers will notice that this picture is next to another painting I did. This is oil on gessoed watercolor paper BTW. I miss using the larger formats, so I may buy some just the same.

I miss my spur of the moment painting. I had an energy that was simply good for me.

My Art IV

Don't like the pix quality here either. This was an attempt to use watercolors, and I kept trying to apply it like oil paint. I was so wrong. Still it has a charming quality that I like. If I had to do this again, I would at lease focus a little more on the neck and shoulders.

In my own defense, my glasses were off, and as hard as I stared in the mirror I could not get the finer details for the underlying drawing. Literally, I transformed my own visage.

My Art III

Did this a while ago. Oil on gessoed watercolor paper. Again the pix quality sucks rotten lemons. I will have to retake the image when the sun is bright, which it has not been for a few days.

If the angle was wider, you might have been able to see the neighboring pictures next to it.

Stacy's Blah Day-I Got A Cure

I don't know, I've been feeling kinda blah for the past couple of days. Something has penetrated my mind, and caused me to feel so blue. This I refuse to accept. By writing I am able to express and release all that ails me. While I can't fix the world in thirty seconds I can and will remind myself that the only one who truly holds me back is me. So to my blah day, I have to give fair warning. Keep messing with me, and I'm gonna kick you in the nuts. Why? Because its unwise to test me. Now when life is so complicated as is.

My Art II

The camera doesn't do much for them, and they were filtered. It needs to be reshot, but I was pressed for time when I snapped them.

Me, Before Class In the Morning

It was the morning, and for the night person that I am, I am surprisingly awake. It was one of those days where I can't remember if I ate something before I went to class or not. It didn't matter in the long run. Burger King will make a small profit from my adventures in daylight.

I like this photo. It would make a good avatar, no? I left it alone after I added the filters, and played with the colors. Between writing two short stories, work, class, and all my other ideas, I "forgot" about this image. I like what I see, now that the finicky aspect of my personality has left the room. LOL

I may post the original to show the contrast between the changes.

My Art

The pastel drawing rocks, but the picture of it I did is so flawed on so many levels. I wish I hadn't lost the connector yo my digital camera, that way I could simply take them with a better digital camera, instead of my simple camera phone. It's a challenge to use and I adjusted the levels, colors, and contrast in Photoshop so it would not look as dull as the image first did when I saw it. I may end up ordering another connector cable for my USB.

Untitled

One day off and the next back to the biz. Life is ok, if not a little hectic. Put myself on the two chapter a day program for my class. I will be done with the text and notes by Wednesday night. When I get home I so want to eat something good. I have baked potatoes at home, and sauteed veggies. Maybe I should stop by the grocery store. Not that I want to cook. A restaurant then. What am I in the mood for?

Oh, Britney *hangs head down in shame for her* Damn Girl

Normally I would not rag on a celebs (much), because I am too sarcastic for my own good. When I read this article on Yahoo about Brittney Spears and her slip shot excuse for her mad umbrella attack as her prepping for a movie role while in the midst of a breakdown, I have to resist my urge to say something. All I'm going to say is if she had said nothing about this I would not have laughed so hard, and fell out my chair. This is so comedy gold for all the wrong reasons.

I hope to never post another BS story again. or at least a happy one.

Tell Me How To Feel

With all these "top ten" and "most influential" lists, I feel that everything out of high school is the real popularity contest. Since I am not on any of those lists, I must be doing something wrong, right? I need people to tell me how to think, how to act. How to feel. What to wear, what to buy, what to believe in. Let's face it. We're all losers because there's a standard that says we're not validated because we haven't arrived.

Is it all good? I feel its all toxic, and it threatens how people perceive themselves. I remember back in high school where you got laughed at for not having name brand clothes. Imagine thinking your behind all that, when TV and magazines create these "trendy people" lists. Like I need to be told my style and life isn't cool.

So, if people don't like what they see, or I'm not cool, it's even better. It's not about lists anyways. It's about me doing my own thing.

My Mistake

OK, I saw this meter maid late, around 12:35 AM, and I hate a meter maid something fierce. I said something rather unpleasant. Not to her, but I said it aloud nonetheless. I then broke into my own "Lord forgive me" train of thought, when I realized it was not forgiveness I needed, but to address my own lack of understanding and lack of respect.

I didn't know this woman, and while my disdain for meter maids is real, I had no business saying what I did. She did nothing to me, and I was so ugly. I feel embarrassed, which I didn't at first, but when I get down to it, had I been in her shoes, and someone said that aloud to me for whatever reason, I would have internalized the comments. So now I feel real stupid, and rightfully so for my rudeness.

I fell better now that I have gotten this out of my system. I also feel good that she didn't hear me. So now I think I can stop beating myself up about this.

Bittersweet: More Adventures In Short Story Writing

OK, I'm still in writing fool mode. This short story has me doing things like, trying to complete it. I have to say draft one is done, and it is very rough, but my story has it's beginning, middle, and end. I need to leave the story alone for a while, then look it over to make changes proper for draft two. Now I have this very bittersweet story, where I think I need time away from these characters because they gots the drama.

Adventures In Short Story Writing

S'ok I needed a mad latte break. Before I made my dash (the barista made this thing H-A-W-T) I also managed to squeeze some writing in for my short story. Right now I hit a deep point where the protagonist is discussing what her mother did to her. The descriptions are vivid, and I realized the character was in a world of hurt. This saddened me. I haven't even got to writing the part I see clearly, which is when she gets the Kool-Aid outta the fridge. The more I write about her, the more I want to know how she keeps her head up in spite of her pains, (parents and slack -ass bf).

The Early Shift

Did writing for a paper last night for class. Video art, at its roots is fascinating, but highly dated. Clearly the marks of the 80's have left its mark all over the works of Nam June Paik, who my paper is on. OMG someone mentioned "Max Hedroom" in class. Do you know how old that shit is? Do I realize how old I am? As the night moved on, I started talking about old things with my cyber pals. He-Man, Jem and the Holograms, Linoel Ritchie, and one really messed up Lifetime Network movie.

All the things discarded and thought gone from my mind. Now they come back not to haunt me, but to remind me of the incredible life I have. Life ain't easy all the time, but this reflection brought back some fun memories (not Max Headroom though). Not everything from the eighties should remain in my head. LOL

My Short Story

As mentioned in my last post, I'm writing a short story about a relationship that turns sour. It's interesting as I build layers onto the protagonist. Apparently her mother and boyfriend are the source of all her woes. It's only got two pages worth of material so far, and I think it will take some time to get it put together. I did notice its the simple things the character does, that I relate to. it's hot, and she's miserable because of it, and her activity is centered around Kool-Aid. I think what happens next will depend on the flavor of Kool-Aid, and its availability to her. Silly?

Reclaiming My Fiction

Whoo, I did some crazy things yesterday. Wrote some erotic fiction (for those who don't know, I swore I would make my graduate thesis about erotica-but its one of many ideas), and I have to say I will NEVER show what I wrote this week end to anyone. It was that awful . ROFLMAO!!! maybe I can take the sex parts out and salvage the plot-NOT. LMAO!

I wanted to write fiction without the use of the slang words. Something sexy, without going too over the top. I find I am not as articulate as I'd like to think. Its humbling, or perhaps I don't know how to straddle the line between the gutter and surface. The way I was brought up, is there is no such thing as sex, and if there was you can't talk about it. That's why they call it "the nasty." We don't call this the "dirty south" for nothing. ASIDE: Let us see if this joke was worth telling.

I also wrote a prose story about a domestic relationship turning sour in the summertime. If that doesn't sound like a tart of a tale, I don't know what will. This one is very unsexy, and rather bittersweet. I love it, and wish to go further.

Evanescence - Lithium

What the Freak? Rated G!

So I'm that goody-two shoes blogger. Let me play hopscotch while I sing. We're having Bambi movies going on, and some other inane crap to work with because I am going down when I get a freaking rated G. That hurt my feelings a little. Now I gotta go sit at the kids table again. We're serving vanilla ice cream, and singing nursery rhymes. ;-)

What The Heck...

Mingle² - Online Dating

Like, " No Duh"

I am 50% Addicted to Coffee

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Well, Well, Well

So, I woke up for class, and I was not feeling it. While not late for class, I missed my chance to eat a breakfast. Learned a lot about Nan Jun Paik today. He did video installations and sculpture. Have to go write a one page parer on him, so I need to bust that out tomorrow or Saturday. it's due Tuesday, and I know if I do it on the weekend, I will have time to edit it. Yeah. Go me!

I need a latte, BTW, for not having one for a couple days.

I am now entering my faux Professor X phase, as I noticed many people assume I have telepathy. People have talked to me as if I read minds. I love that they think I'm special, so I take it as flattery, as oppose to the insult they have brought to me. Anyways if I was a telepath I've be wealthy, because I would literally know every body's secrets, and I would blackmail all the wealthy people. It would be like a kick in the crotch for all those who have the funds to keep their secrets secret. This is why God never gave me telepathy.

Chante Moore - It's Alright

Stacy's Sorting Hat

OK, I really don't have a sorting hat, but I do have a school, and classification to think about. Furthermore I need to look at what classes I need to be on top of. Really, I want to make a list of classes I need to get on top of. I need a plan so I don't put too many similar classes together, and feel that strain of boredom. So far the art history class is the great ice breaker. I may take the next one next summer. I know I don't want another one on right after that. Not to fear, I have an English class lined up. Next will be a core class. I don't even want to think about when I take two classes per quarter.

Working...

Multi-tasking can be tricky as I try to line up my work, and get some stuff done proper. I am working on my writings (fiction and non-fiction), my artwork, classes, and my job. Yes, I am busy. Yes it will pay off in the long run. Yes it give me great pleasure to do it all. It's like that, and I am grateful to God for positivity in my life. It's up to me to remember that I do have plenty of good to focus on.

Took some pictures of some of my older art pieces. They have to be edited in Photoshop for cropping, and a real paltry attempt to adjust the coloring. I used the camera on my phone, and the lighting was not so cool. Decided it was better to hold off before posting them. I rushed my Photoshop adjustments. I am refusing to filter them because I want people to seethe images without the special effects.

Writing Once More

Started volume two of my comic. It's been tough, but I am breaking things down by the scene, and working from there. This second scene is so involved that I am obsessed with completing it. Yes I am, and I love being in the thick of working the details out. Its one of the best challenges I face as a writer. I love it. The fist scene to me is how I want it to be, and really needs minor adjustments, therefore it can be left alone, for the first draft.

I am thinking that if I get no contact from the publisher on July 9th, I will reclaim vol. 1, and hold onto it until vol. 3 is completed. I will reformat it to be a three-volume graphic novel. I did vision my idea as a trilogy, and each volume was self-contained. I am nervous and excited. Go Me!

What To Do...

My mind is in a million places, and I need a couple of days off for sure. I crave rest at this point, and next week should be stress free. When I get home, I need to eat and then relax, that's all. I can't write when I have this hyper of thought.

Eddie Murphy is Mel B.'s "Baby Daddy"

Oh, wow. I suppose congrats are in order for Eddie. A friend and I were talking about this. We wondered why Eddie would deny paternety in such a public forum. OMG it was like he called Mel B. a ho, without saying the word. I know she was hurt (at least I had the feeling she was). I know in love (or out of love), some people can get real insensitive, but damn. What he did was so cold, I felt brushed off. LOL Again, for the sake of the child, I hope this can be gotten past.

50 Cent & Child Support

According to this article, 50 Cent pays $25,000 a month & household expenses for his child. The mother of his child says its "not enough." Wow. That's a minimum of $300,000 plus a year. Since this has been made public, I wounder how the current money is being used. Will the Mom have to produce expenses and explanations.

Not hating on either parent, but I wonder if they would make statements about this. For example, is it about the son having access to the finer things in life, and a future, or perhaps simply more money. How much money would even the scales? Say $50,000, $75,000, $100,000 per month? I am also curious about the child support laws, which can vary from state to state. I guess my fascination goes beyoun those two. For the child's sake, I hope all support issues are resolved.

Fancy Alarms

This is one of those days when you set your smart (digital) alarm and go to bed. I have also resolved from checking my clock at the first crack of light. After all, I DID set the alarm. Here's what I did that was wrong: I forgot to adjust the frequency of the alarm. It was neither set to "one time only'" or "week-ends." As a result it would only go off during the weekdays. Needless to say, as I decided to open my eyes anyways, because it was felling like I was sleeping too long. I saw that it was far later than planned. Rushed to freshen up, put in my contacts, get dressed, and on the road.

The Writing Fool Returns

A while back I wrote scripts for various different stories/projects. Why don't I reclaim them and work them to their conclusion? I pose this question, as I am having images of each series in my head, asking myself "what happens next?" I am going to write them out, of course. yeah, I'm looking forward to me making time for my fiction.

Gotta Stop (Loafing About)

I'm taking this class on contemporary art (700 lvl), and for the first few classes its been interesting. At the very least I have a clear impression of why the art changed from the traditional mediums to something more experimental, and confrontational. I have more reading to do, and other tasks.

I have been working on a cast list for a sequel, and writing down info for some new projects. Its been slow, and I want to devote more time to writing, and I know I can get it done. I do have more errands to run, but I'm going to have to place things in a certain order, or else I will be in trouble.

Steak Dinner

I sure would love a steak dinner. Steaks marinated overnight, cooked, well done (that's right) with sauteed veggies, with wild rice, and mixed veggies or a loaded baked potato and some baked garlic bread with extra Swiss, cheddar, and mozzarella on top. Dare I dream of such delicious a meal prepared with TLC by the chef? Dare I? 'Cause we can do this, dammit. We can do this!

What If...

My creativity was all about the art, no pretense of anything? No attempts to cater to anyone by the work itself. What if I surrendered to my muse, and did not shy away from what I have done? What if it was horrible or stark along with the beauty. I guess I have to have faith and find out. Right now I just want to do my thing and be happy.

My Needs

I am so feeling the need to write some things out, other than my blog. been putting it off for a while, and sorting through the schedule upsets and changes (which are still changing). I so want a few days of REST. Been having ideas, and I need to see them to in print. Hello pen, please meet paper. Somewhere in this mix I have to get my reading assignments done.

Whoah

Ok, I got real busy today. Woke up for classes. I can only say I should have gotten some coffee on the way up. OMG I was early, found parking, had some OJ, and ate my breakfast in my car. Stopped by the bookstore to grab two books for class (although online it said only one book was needed, and they were way too pricey for used books.

Went home, and realized I had an hour of rest. Set my alarm, and decided to close my eyes thinking I was not going to fall asleep. I fell asleep. I was awakened by the phone, and spoke with my Mom. I got my power nap. LOL It was so good. I still want coffee, and may go get me a lattee. Why? Because I want one, dammit!

40 oz. Smoothie, Sandbags, & Cell Phones

The ambitious fool in me decided that a 40 oz. smoothie was worth tackling. What the heck was I thinking? I have been running to the bathroom so many times within the last few hours, I thought I might have to wear Depends. The sad thing is that I could easily do that again (drink the whole thing, that is, not the adult diapers). No, I don't learn so easily. lol

Found a restaurant in Savannah that actually de-veins their shrimp. OMG I can now eat shrimp again from a restaurant. I can order shrimp fried rice once more. I'm gonna do my happy dance, cause I can't eat the shrimp with the "sand bag" still in them. YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! That grit between your teeth. I disgust myself with the thoughts.

Thought about getting a new phone, but I'm holding off. Y'all know how it is if you switch phones in the middle of your bill cycle. All I need is freaking prorated charges. Oh, they make the newer ones look so sleek and sexy. Also, I know my carrier will want me to upgrade my price plan, and therefore extend my contract.