Writing...

Chapter five, I am proud to say is DONE. Still working on chapter six. I will have to add two more pages to make it a full twenty-four pages. This is not a problem. handwrote the scenes out and will begin to rewrite and correct them later. I am so feeling good today. let's hope the momentum lasts into the next day.

Slacker Saturdays

I had a real great Friday. I did more relaxing than I imagined, and more posting than I thought I was going to do. All the creative writing was done by hand last night. I found after watching Battlestar Galataca and some of Law & Order, I didn't want to do much afterwards. Goofed off by watching some more movies.

Looked over some guidelines for proposals, and highlighted what I needed to to make my comic book submittable. Will have to speak with Cari about the art samples the requirements call for. Today will be the work day, so I best get hopping.

Great Idea

I just spoke with my brother. he gave me a great idea. Fr weeks I have been sending him skits involving the family. He tells me that they were so funny, that he is sure if I could find a way to use the humor to sell stories, he's positive I could make a fortune. I've debated this internally before about using humor. usually I don't think about it. I'm just being silly. I have no idea how funny I really am. So I think I will experiment jsut for fun. I will create a new comic book mini series, and I will write in the style that I do the skits I send him. We will see how its recieved.

I do know my sense of humor is very silly. I can be off the wall a lot of the time, but that's where I like going sometimes. Traces of my humor is found throughout my writings. let's see where this takes me.

Doing Laundry

The important thing about doing the laundry is having that fresh, clean smell on things that were once unclean. I gabbed it all, my towels, my underclothes, shirts and pants, and washed them. I so need them to feel fresh on my, and not have that stuffy, stinky smell in my place. The dish towels spoke to me on a level of necessety. They were like wash me dammit!!! Talk about ad and sour. That had to change, along with all my other dirty laundry.

Drama Free Fridays

Ran a few errands this morning. The one I really wanted to do, my laundry, is delayed. All the machines are in use. I am like, there are other times to get that done. I'm not desperate, yet. I think I needed some rest last night as the stress lifted itself. I don't know why I take myself through so much drama, when I always have the solution, sometimes staring me in the face. I think, what I will do in the future, is simply go over the plan I have to tackle a situation. I choose to call this Friday a "drama free Friday." Now I'm a feed myself then relax. I'll catch a movie on one of these cable channels, and maybe catch some extra z's. This was meant to be.

Bite Me Chaos!!!!

I'm in a bit of a funk today. Stressing and stuff. I am needed some good laughs and a good mood. Irregardless of my mood, I will do some writing tonight. Maybe I should write something funny. You know, lift me up, or get lost in something deep. I don't know. I will play some music and let my spirit be guided by the songs.

I need to mellow out and find me some inner peace to the turmoil that is my life. Chaos surrounds me, and I have a good and kids-sized shoebox for it to be stuffed into. I will NOT give up on myself. I will break free of all that constrains me.

Chaos can bite me! Its time to give attitude back. I am tired of feeling like I needed to be in a slump throughout my day.

My New Path: Thoughts Are Dawning

• What do I want for myself?
• How will I get what I want?
• How do I find solutions to the situations I have?
• Where is my voice?
• How do I become the truly independent creative force that I have long desired to become?
  

Having Faith: The Path To Being a Better Man

Sometimes I lack faith in myself. I have lacked so much faith that if I were an observer, I would think I was watching a man self-destructing. Emphasis on the "self" part. There are so many crisis situations I have made myself. Cleaning up the messes is rough, since I beat myself up in the process of not being perfect. Self-criticism is a crude coping tool. In my mind I am outlawing it.

I need to get over all my fears and doubts. At the very least put them in a very small box, and let them know I'm not living on my fears. Sometimes I need to belive that I can make my way through advestiy. I don't want adversity to be all I have. I want to be happy, and I want to be free of all the negativity and drama that surrounds me. God as my witness, I will no longer live like I thrive off of chaos and insecurities. There must be something more real I can hold onto, and not loose myself.

I want to belive that no matter how hard things get in life, I will finbd a solution through the hard work and efforts I have put into my life. I want to belive that I don't have to be perfect, that I simply need to focus on being an individual, with thoughts and emotions I can own up to. I want to be the man who handles all his affairs in such a way that denotes my professionalism in all that I do. i want to have room to make mistackes, and accept that I can improve myself withing reason. I want to break my comfort zone, which while of my own creation, is a beautiful prison i have locked myself into.

It takes a lot to be a good man in this world/society/lifetime.

Chapters Three, Four and Five

My migraine has returend to me with less intensity. I made myself get out of bed. I need to drink some water, and fix me something to eat. Then I can at least take some Advil, and some vitamins.

The revisons for chapters three and four are completed. I'm leaving them alone for a day or so, so I can look over it with fresh eyes. Chapter five is being worked on. I have been cutting some scenes/pages out, and adding some newer ones that make sense to me, and hopefully the reader. The problem with me is some of the new scenes could go on for pages. Decided to forgo that route. I think some of those scenes can and will be expaned upon if I decide to do another mini-series. It was good to fit those ideas in proper. Chapter five does need a lot more techinical work,such as formatting, and grammatical corrections, which I am happy to work on. I will have the final chapter to complete afterwards, which I will handle with the same vigor.

After chapter six id done, I will work on all the additional isses with the proposal, and all necessary elements. I did want to peep some research on history for a reference.

Called my Dad last night. I wonder about him. He is sometimes very approachable, and other times standoffish. I wonder about him. Oh, well. Life is like that. I suppose he'll be fine. Told him I planned on visiting soon. He was blah. Too much drama for me behind the scenes.

Consolidate

I am trying to get all my email regulars on one email account. This is 'cause its worth my time to check the regs at one stop. Its not as easy as I thought, as I have some people I haven't been in touch with in a while, and I want to get in touch with them.

Speaking of contact, I have an old friend who doesn't speak to me anymore. I thought I had said something to her to piss her off. I was thinking about her because I tried to call her last year during the holidays and she blew me off. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I was like, ok, maybe I'm misreading things, but I called during the holidays just to say "happy holidays." I got the big brush off. Who knows, maybe I am looking at the situation all wrong. I'm not calling this holiday though. LOL

It was busy at the job, and a little tiring, but I made it through. Thank God my migraine went away. I almost stayed home. I felt the lil bastard trying to creap back into my head. Advil was on standby, 'cause I was like not having that kind of pain at work. I hope I'm not stressing. I will make sure to get enough sleep at least, and I took my vitamins.

Working Out the Kinks

I have these creative urges, that need to be set free. I am tired of waiting for them to quiet down. I want to commit my ideas to paper. This means breaking out on the laptop and the notepad and working out the kinks. I have a few thoughts on direction, but that's not important. What is important is that I get the ideas out of my head, and evolving into scripts, whatever they can be.

Headache Supreme

I got a migraine. It started last night, and kept on keeping on until this morning when I woke up. Talk about uncomfortable. I felt awful! I also felt like I was going to puke at any moment, and every flash of light had me feeling awful. Needless to say I tossed and turned, and kept trying to fall asleep all night. I got up this morning and took Advil. I was glad I did as the pain has faded away. Usually stress brings it on, or OD'ing on caffeine. Well, I woun't touch a caffinated drink until I have at least two bottles of water to start my system flushing out the caffeine.

People are getting colds real fast. A few people had that deep in the throat cough. The kind of cough that would make you stand if you were sitting, or loose control of your bladder. I don't want what they have. I'm hitting up the vitamins and garlic tablets ASAP!

Go To Bed, Stacy

I'm feeling my sleep rise, as I struggle to put thoughts down. Its been a full day. I did learn that I need to make my dinner at home. I have truly lost a battle that would have taken me five mins, as I have cooked food in my fridge. Guess what I'm having for dinner tomorrow. It would be out of the fast food resturant, though. ;-)

I have so many ideas and thoughts that I want to put into my notebooks. At the very least, I have to make sure its comfy as tonight it was COLD. OMG I saw people in jackets and I had a fleece on. At least I had something. People were wearing shorts early on, and did not realize that the temerature dropped. Tomorrow will be better.

Breaktime

Lunch was blah today. I spent money on a chicken sandwhich combo from Wendy's. I also got bold on my ass and spent money on a latte. I swear, had prepared lucn I could have reduced my expenses. I pay for my laziness in spades. I looose when I do things like this. It bothers me that I have not said no to psending when I should be getting a stronger grip on finances. I have got to start documenting my spending habits proper. i admit the latte made me feel better, but limit is limits.

The Sound of Creativity.

I wrote this last night, but could not post due to blogger acting up. Nonetheless, I have a dream. My goal is to follow my heart. I’m a concept man. I can create great ideas and I’d love to see them flourish. My goal is to create some now stories that are more reflective of my creativity, and less of me trying to please others. That is I am not worried about whether or not my ideas “fit” into the mold or are on the level pf “acceptability.” I’d rather break free of that constraint. I’d like to see some of my best ideas shared with people who want to read them. Who knows, all my ideas may be totally mainstream, but I keep looking for validation first. Let’s put validation aside for the moment. Talent is here, and dedication is with me. I need to get published, and then validate self. I know it will make me feel 100% great to know people are receiving pleasure from reading my work, as opposed to me thinking they have to like me. Sometimes I put myself through a personal hell, and wonder what went wrong.

I wanna take risks. I want to know that the work might not be successful, but I want to have the chance to write it, and attempt to publish the works. If I don't pitch the work, I feel I have failed myself, and quite frankly, there is no looking back. There is not changing the past. All I can do is move forward, and I prefer that my movements lift me up, as opposed to bringing me down.

I noticed I am more influenced by animation. Perhaps its time do do some detailed studying. Let's start with Bugs Bunny. Shall I?

I Am Tired

Its been a hectic evening, and I feel like all my energy is spent. I hadn't had coffee in two days and I pray that's not the issue. I only like to drink it when I'm feeling slow, and its about that time to to wind down. Chapter three is all but done. I will review it, and the send it off to Cari. She has a great portfolio site, and I it in my link section. She is so dedicated to her craft. I admire that in her. She so has a career in comics. Too tired to go deeper in thoughts, and there are things to do. I want some soda. Root beer to be exact. Maybe I should switch it up.

The Sound of Silence

Today I loafed about, and watched TV. I did take a bath, so now I have that fresh and clean smell and feel to myself. I could have soaked in the tub for hours just relaxing. of course I would look like a brown raisin, which is not very attractive. I should have called some peeps to catch up with them, but I wanted to hear the sound of silence for a while. Hear my own heartbeat, and let the world outside my place keep on keeping on. Today was not about them, but about my peace of mind.

I did cook hamburgers today. They came out wonderful, even though the pot is a little burnt. There is still a kitchen to clean. Will make some mixed veggies to take with me to work tomorrow. I watched some forgettable movies. Peeped "Ultimate Avengers II" on Cartoon Network. I LOVED the inclusion of Black Panther so I was was pleased. Law & Order was on as well.

Didn't do much writing. I decided to have a loaf about day, and I am pleased I took hat direction. I was able to focus on my resting and not feeling like I'm overworked. You can best believe that I will be back on track tomorrow. A day off is great, but I plan to be done with revisions by Thursday. :-) I love a great plan.

Chapters 3, 4 & 5

Whoo, I am ready for some rest. I fiinshed chapter 3's revisons. Started chapter four, and only need to tweak some pages proper. I don't think I'm adding any pages to chapter four. Five is another story. Chapter six gets some additions as well. I am very happy about the progress and hope to work thing out accordingly. Enough talk, it relax time.

I.S.S. (Not Really)

In response to my last post; I'm so stupid! Don't I write this blog the way I want to? It doesn't matter if people hate the material. If it was, i would have stopped writing in 2003. I keep writing without regards to opinions. I love my blog's low profile. It doesn't matter that multiple people are not reading and commenting. I don't even know all the people reading it. Most who do never leave comments, and its all good. Dedication is a strength that many don't possess. Needless to say what's been in front of my eyes all along is who I really am, and what I wanted from my writing. I don't get paid for blogging, and I will keep writing until I'm forced to give it up.

Let's make the fiction flow like Yeah I Wrote This Blog. This is my life lesson for my year. All that I can do, I've done before, and will keep on keeping on.

Stacy Un-Squared

I have these story concepts and ideas I put on the back burner because some of them were dark, and others were so silly, I thought people would reject the ideas and eventually myself. Its hard to take rejection, sometimes, and I can't fortify myself enough to break away from the sting rejection sets.

Sometimes I can be so stupid. It doesn't matter what people think at this point of the creative process. All things written down are merely concepts that are for me to figure out how to execute. Why not write the concepts out and then evaluate them afterwards? I really need to dust off my writing self-esteem, and wear it like a badge. My creativity will lead me to success, and I will not be held hostage by my unfounded fears.

So what if the stories and ideas are not mainstream? I'm not mainstream. I march to the beat of my own drum. I do as I please (most of the time), and I don't want anybody to tell me how to live or feel. (I should get a tattoo.-NOT) Sometimes conforming sucks, unless it pays the bills. I want to take more chances with my writing, and I want to challenge myself to break out of the mindset of tailoring my stories to please others. This is only a mask for me to be accepted, and if you like the real me, then the real writing will shine through, dark story or no-quality is quality. Why don't I work on pleasing me, and making myself happy? Success will follow and flow like a river.

I will be brainstorming more tonight and I don't care if it seems silly or downright dark/scary. I no longer want to be afraid of my own thoughts. As an artist I am journeying to independence.

I feel so naughty, and it feels good.