This is Today

Man, been getting up early this week. I'm not tired though. Surprisingly no coffee to keep me moving. I needed to get in gear without too much stimulants. Writing is a must, and when I get myself more free time I can get my productivity up.

Home For My Holidays

Well, well, what I have I got myself into? As I cook for this Christmas, it's the first one not spent with my family, so it's of a mixed feeling.  I LOVE spending time with my family, which is far more valuable than spending money. I suppose this year is the long distance thing. There's always room for trying new things, right? Long distance isn't unbearable, or terrible. I still love my family.

I have to get some things done today, BUT I realized as I cooked for myself yesterday that I was too busy.  It was a lot of work to get things done, and I didn't write much.  However, I really liked cooking.  It was a different. I intended to write on the side, but that couldn't happen between the meals.  I loves a good meal.

Well all I have to do today is make some stuffing. It's a box recipe, and I wish I bought the baking kind, but I didn't so I guess I foot work with what I got. I also need to make myself some breakfast. Breakfast is tasty, and I feel the need to have some energy going on.  It's that or I eat a cupcake as a piss poor starter meal and a slice of pecan pie. Real horrible breakfast.

Today's current DVD is The Dark Knight. Why?  Hadn't looked at it in a while. It's also better than what I saw on TV earlier, which was nothing of interest.  It's either this or shut the TV off completely. A Brother has choices.

Merry Christmas, all!

Friday

It's time to enjoy that it's Friday, and while maximum loafing shall be held off till later I'm happy that it is near. So I'm not ready to celebrate just yet. However I'm gonna take the day and kick it in the butt. I need for this day to be a bit mellow, so I'm a be passionate about it being so.

Sleep and Writing

I would like to say that I'm editing a short story after getting some feedback from my writing peeps. I got the feedback, made some notes, but my mind is elsewhere. It happens sometimes and quite frankly it means to get more sleep.

Perhaps later on I should do something else. Play video games, read a book, watch a movie or two. I'm simply not in a place to be creative. I'm stubborn today. I guess that's cool that I am putting forth the drive. I I was being lazy I think I'd be wasting my day.

Sleep has been off this week. Sometimes I'm acing it, other times I've stayed up too late and I can't get enough sleep. Also my congestion and sinuses are acting out simultaneously. I have to deal with the crappy congestion, which intake meds for, the. The sinus pressure pops up today which tells me that I need a second med.

Regardless of this meh-ness, I'm positive things shall work out. Good luck and blessings to all.

Today

Naturally since I needed to get up and get a haircut, I didn't want to get up.  Fixed that by getting up, and doing what needed to be done, and getting that haircut.  Now I'm tired, and may take a seat in the comfy chair and chillax or doze off cause quite frankly, I'm not interested in doing much. I could stand to clean up some more, but that ain't gonna happen either.

In a bit of a parody/satire mode of creativity that comes and goes. I feel like making mischief, which I wonder if it's related to my tiredness. Perhaps it is but I just wanna do stupid things that don't hurt nobody, unless you hate parodies and satire then it may hurt you. I think I'll live with that. I must keep up with my muse, even when it's condescending, scornful, sarcastic, flippant, and outright silly.  Odds are it's none of those things. I just think it is.

As I type this I'm contemplating turning the TV on, but I really don't want it on, yet every veg out state needs it on as I get lost in something. I need coffee.    

Slacking Off

I need more posts here.  Late is the hour and I'm tapped out of thoughts at the moment.  Tomorrow involves a haircut, provided I wake up on time, and do what must be done. Not feeling the TV being on, and this new deodorant smells good, and like a dunce I'm like who smells so fresh. Sometimes I'm the hot mess I never start out to be within the course of the night.  Here's to a new topic.

Blah

Hanging out and trying to get back into a creative outlook. Didn't do much today in regards to reading or writing, so that's a big boooo to that. The day is still ongoing so I won't discount any chance of a second wind.

Is sure music will improve my outlook so I put on a playlist. Never mind I feel tired after devouring more turkey. I may have inadvertently cooked my own goose trying to get myself together and filling my belly.

Mr Mopey

I'm feeling mopey and it feels good. I so, however need to get something to eat, chillax and try to keep the mopey on the positive level.

National Novel Writing Month

Well five days into November and I'm participating in NaNoWriMo. It's quite the challenge to write daily, and leave the material be, and keep moving onto the next parts.  I can tell you it's very disjointed, and I feel like it's a mess.  it reminds me of when I drew or painted something how it looks so far away and incomplete.  Finally it takes form after hours of work. In this case after a month what I'll have a HUGE mess, and  will have to leave it be to cool down and revise afterwards.  But what I will have is a novel.

It may mean nothing at all, it may never go anywhere, but it will have one draft done. It's got a science fiction and fantasy vibe, but it also has this surreal and psychedelic aspects. I kinda think it shall have some horror aspects, but its early in the game.

Today

Today is about a haircut. I'm happy to get out out of bed and get things done today. I'm gonna be writing something later on today. Revisions are both a challenge and a joy.

Been neglecting this blog a lot so I'm happy to get a moment to write a few lines now. I'm tempted to go back to bed when I get home, but that ain't happening.

Intimidation Factors

Working on revising a short story, and nothing gets to me like the anxiety of re-approaching written material.  So I'm looking at a hand edited piece of work with fear and nervousness.  Needless to say the fear is unwarranted, and I know I'm going to tackle the material regardless. Still there was this moment where I looked at the story and felt afraid to touch it.

No this story ain't too precious to revise.  I just found myself having a fear that should go away soon, because one of my goals is to get this story published. Also have a second  story to get to the writing group for critique and get that feedback. Sometimes this is just a phase and phobia that dissipates into the ether.  If I have to have a stare down with the material I will.

I wanna look back and laugh at myself for this moment. It shall pass. It's telling me to go preoccupy my mind with other things till I get myself off the anxiety.  A little gaming perhaps.  A trip to the D laugh at myself for this?

Getting Up and Doing Things

Didn't really want to get up today, but I needed to do some laundry.  I feel like I needed to get this done and then I can relax a bit.  Doing laundry early means I don't have to deal with it at the last moment and possibly throwing myself all over the place to get crap done.  Didn't even wait for the alarm to go off this morning. Damn. Then again I was in bed my midnight. How I hate beating myself to the punch.  Who you supposed to hating on?

Hating on oneself seems a bit futile. It's not like you can punch yourself in the face. Well you could, but that's stupid. Could you press charges against yourself?  I bet that'd be something. Take that to trial.  You'd have to simultaneously defend and prosecute yourself. Ah duality. It keeps the world in conflict, and the people with rage against themselves. Sorta like Darth Vader, but zero force powers, lightsaber, or Deathstar.  If you can't have the cool stuff that comes  with being Vader, why bother with the hate? Let go of your anger.      

My lesson for this early morning. Nothing beats freshly washed and dried pairs of undies. Make them so fresh, you have to slap them before you put them on for being so damn cheeky. Also smiling helps me out a whole lot.  Not forced smiles. Being able to laugh and help others laugh makes me feel good.  Much love and blessings to all, and I pray things go smoothly for y'all.

Dreams and Goals

Now's the time to think about how I need to improve myself as a person and as a working man.  I really need to buckle down and get a lot done with the precious time I do have free of any upsets. It does require me to dig deeper and getting to meet myself at happiness, satisfaction, and true security.  I don't feel like I'm anywhere there yet, but I'm off to a start, which is better than nothing at all.  So I need to keep writing and I need to stay focused. I have a few projects lined up and I NEED to see those continually worked upon.

Unemployment Sucks Part 50: Closure

My Unemployment Sucks series comes to an end today.  Not because I'm 100% over all the havoc unemployment wrought into my life, but having a job means looking at things different, and perhaps starting a new series to reflect my progress. I shared a lot on my writing blog, Several Deadly CINEs on how my creativity went all wonky, and how a shift in perspective and experiences brings me to a new chapter. New chapters in life mean new ideas, stories, and the potential for new possibilities.

Life's a process, not so smooth of and endeavor to get back to a healthy balance, but that started when I didn't want to give up on working or living.  Enduring is more than difficult and it took twelve months to get something going. I'm taking this moment to thank God, family, and friends for their support and belief in me as well as the reminders to get back up and get things done.  

So I got to end my series on an even number.  Don't know if that's OCD of me or not.  It does mean I got to settle some things on my terms, which I feel fantastic about. I went through a lot of changes, but at best I know that not a year in exile could take away from me the things that mattered the most. The best stayed with me.  The worse fell by the wayside and went away.

Unemployment Sucks Part 49: Part of the Game

NOTE: Even though I'm employed now, there are a lot of loose ends to settle, and I'm hoping to wrap this series up at post 50.  Still so many things to do and on day four of employment. So let's take this from today:

I informed the peeps in the unemployment office that I did find employment, and gave info last week as per their instructions. So on last Saturday I got a letter in the mail that needed clarifying in regards to my unemployment benefits.

This meant getting up early today and attending to meeting the unemployment peeps. I am not a morning person and feel a need for a nap. I gonna need to stay awake. May need coffee this morning. I'd like to think I'd make it without the coffee, as it does mess with my congestion but this needs some, and I'll be taking some precautions and staying alert for congestion flare ups (as of now no flare ups - so it didn't hurt me - still gonna drink water behind it to keep the flare up from showing up late).  

As i started writing this post, I got a call to see the rep, and with a few clicks of her mouse, the issue was resolved. I was like wow, that's amazing. I literally got out if bed, didn't sleep late cause I wanted this taken care of, and it took less than a minute. This means I spent more time in my car than I did in the office, and it reminds me that I'm gonna sleep late tomorrow. Hopefully NO ONE needs me up early. If they do, I will answer the call, but I'm due a late morning and I intend to collect.

Unemployment Sucks Part 48: And Then I Got A Job

Never giving up, having support, and simply enduring paid off for me.  I have a job.  For me this is the start of a positive direction, and gets better as time progresses.  Since this is something good for me, I'd like to dwell on this goodness, and thank God and everyone who supported me with will wishes, encouragement, and all around positive energy.  So on a bittersweet note I put the Unemployment Sucks series to rest.  Such a good series as I had to make a gang of adjustments.  I'm not at 100%, but better to get underway with progress, than to be in limbo.

Here's to enduring, surviving, good support from family and friends, and keeping the faith. Now I get to do my happy dancing!!!

Unemployment Sucks Part 47: The Interview

I had an interview a week ago, and so far I'm waiting for a response as to yay or nay.  Ah the pins and needles part of the process.  Job hunting has it's peaks and valleys.  I'm simply pleased the ball's rolling.  As I said before trying to live off unemployment is too rough of an experience.  It's not enough, and I'm better off with a decent job that pays the bills. Otherwise I'd cry, cry, and cry. Well I'm excited, to say the least. Hey if there's a chance of getting to my goals, there there's hope of success.

Yeah, kinda mushy in sentiment, but that's what I need.  Some good ole mushy feelings and goodness to spread around. Thankfully a friend gave me some good mojo and people expressed a lot of well wishes, so for better or worse, at least I have people that want me to succeed, and have good wishes for me.  So as I love the well wishes, part of the reason i'm being looked at is at the very least is my skills being in-demand. I'm praying for success.

Writing's been a challenge this week.  not due to the interviews, but my mind was more than distracted. I was supposed to publish this post sooner, and forgot it was in draft.  Now I'm cleaning it up and making it look a bit more full.  Today I'm going to look over some jotted notes on a concept.  I hate when I go to bed and have ideas.  I typed it all into my notes application.  it seems inspiration hit me.  Then sleep hit me.  At the very least I have part of today's post completed.  Adding to it on;y makes the pot more savory.

Unemployment Sucks Part 46: Visiting The DMV

It's about that time I renew my driver's license, and I put that off for so long.  yesterday I went to the DMV to make this happen.  I knew it took verification, BUT didn't have it all together.  I needed my birth certificate, SS card, the old license, and two proofs of residency, which was a utility billy and/or my voter's registration paperwork. I only had one utility bill.  Fortunately for me the voter's registration was like on the back of the building.  I had to go to there and verify my info, then return to the DMV.  All done.

Need to clean the apartment.  it looks a mess, as it always does.  I want to at least make the living room look presentable. I'm like meh at the moment. I know better.  Sometimes I feel like I'm 22 and in college again. Like it's cool to be indifferent to all this mess.  Let's start on my dining room table, and get that into shape, then work my way around some other staff, like my printer area.  Mess, mess, mess.

Slacked off on the writing again, but sometimes I feel like not writing.  Still hoping for a job, and while yesterday provided a lot of good things, including a friend's good wishes so it's time to make stuff happen.

Is today the first day of fall?  Hadn't looked outside but I'd love to see the summer weather cool down.

Unemployment Sucks Part 45: Like a Boomerang

Looking at improving my day and I realize I'm not writing well. For me this is odd. Did I drink enough water, or eat enough?  All I'm getting is a few sentences out of me, which may mean I need to stop writing and chillax. Promised myself to limit my social media interaction (meaning Facebook, which I live on) in order to get things done, and I'm finding when I turn on the computer all I want to do is goof off and not write. It's far more easier to goof off than write. Writing requires thought and my poor mind doesn't want to work.

I do know that I'm writing this "starter" paragraph and allowing it to cool off, then coming back to add and revise. Perhaps that's the writing lesson for today, to write something briskly, and return like a boomerang. Since I prayed about getting my writing in order, among other things, I feel a need to write more than what I have.  I'm feeling there's nothing to say, and waiting for inspiration, however the reason I started this series on my blog was my unemployment. Is that not an ongoing topic?

Well today was like several of the others. I still have my life and health. My finances could use some level up powers or Viagra to get it up. I'm still the man 'cause in spite of going all emo, I'm getting stuff written. I made some personal goals today I want to jump on. That means pushing more story out and believing that I can get this damn post to my typical standards. It's not like potential and opportunities went completely away.

A little known fact is that I revise several of my posts before and after I publish them. It means I need to get better at writing.  BTW I have all these ideas I told myself to jot down, and went off goofing on Facebook. In that case I sabotaged myself. That's not what I need right now. I need to get myself together once more. I got a lot of work to do and only I can get it done. No time to be scared of what could be, cause what have now isn't much.

Unemployment Sucks Part 44: Bust Dat Move

Been laying low from writing, like I can't do it, which is a HUGE mistake.  If there's anything that I do well, it's creativity, and I've put off my creativity for some time now.  Been feeling low, but now that reason's entered my mind again, it's time to handle my biz and make do with what I have in front of me, and getting over myself (again).  I need to get my head back in the game, cause the truth is only I can do what needs to be done for my welfare. If it means tracking down job leads, writing, hell, singing telegrams, I gotta do what needs to be done to make living worth a damn.

Job hunting did yield some fruit from the vine, but I'm keeping this under my hat until it pans out completely.  You will hear me sing if it works out.  I'm a leave it be because it's something that's out of my hands. I trust in my skills and persona, and that's all one can do.  No more doubt on this part.  Getting things done is the priority.

Writing hasn't been a pain, it's just that I've been real lazy and loving the laziness. I could and should do better for myself.  Granted I felt a bit low on some days, and I do take pen to paper, but I know I need to do more.  I seem to be distracting myself with goofing off, gaming, and all the freedoms I didn't have.  Well this can't keep going.  Where does the creativity go if I don't use it? It seems like a waste of energy, so I best get myself in gear.

I have to be honest, this page was two paragraphs, and I felt like it wasn't good enough to post.  It felt weak, like I wasn't putting effort into the mix.  That's changed, and now I feel better about writing this without wondering what the hell was wrong with me.  Sometimes inspiration, procrastination, and creativity get wrapped up into one for me.  Need to keep writing.  I'm a mess.