Don't Forget To Add Salt and Pepper

I was remembering a time when I was cooking and my Mom came by and said, "don't foget to add some salt and pepper." I found that odd, since she knows that's what I do. Then one day her sister, my aunt, came by when I was making pork chops and said, "don't foget to season the meat." OK, once was enough, but when people start thinking you don't have the sense to season for taste then there's a problem. I told them both that the comments were well-intention, but insulting. They say they don't mean anything by it, but I was like naw, don't go there. If their Mom said that to them both would be insulted. That is a true fact. Granny can be crititcal of her kids when she was ready.

Called my mom the other day and I told her I was cooking, and she asked me if I seasoned my food, added onions, etc. I'm like Mom please. I cooked at home, for you you know I love my seasonings. She couldn't hep herself. Parents. You gotta love them even when they mean well, but don't trust your taste buds. LOL

Wake Up Mr. H.

Daylight savings time is messing with my internal clock. I got up early today, the moment I sat up and started thinking on what next to do, I got sleepy. I think this means I need to relax some, and I will be fine. Need to make me something to eat. I'm thining bacon and eggs. I'll relax then fix a meal. I need a glass of water too.

Chapter Six Is Done!

The revisons are at an end. the second drafts for all my chapters are completed. I am so glad to be done at this moment. Now I have to leave the story alone for a while, work on other aspects of my project (the proposal, the full cast list, etc.). I want to check the story proper for grammatical erros, but that will come a litlle later. its time to get my mind off this project and onto other stories.

I am happy I compelted what I started. I have abandoned projects and themes in the past, but I kept this ship alfloat, and rode it through. I am very confidant in the material, and I will glady submit this material to publishers. Cari is going to be so busy with drawing. I am very excited and ready to see her interpretaions of the characters and scenes.

Risk Taking

I wonder sometimes what would happen if I broke out of my comfort zone. That is to say try new clothes, new songs, new stories to read, and ways I approach topics. I broke my posting limits for blogging, and am heading towards a more productive phase. I'm taking it as an evolution in my life.

I want to see myself looking like a pro with projects to push and stories to seel and tell. I want to see me back in visual art. I am so retriving my drawing board, and pastels. I need to make a living past the life I have have. I need to see a future where I am surrounded by high success, and not crums. Ok I have moved into the working class, and now feel a need to exceed those bonds.

I want to seem my subjects expand, and me not treat my writing and art so damn fragile. I want to be confidant in the moves I make, and less worried about appearences. Sometimes you have to let go of everything, and today is that moment where I look in the mirro and say "I'm better than this shit." I've done it, worked it, paid some dues, and need to build a better man from the ground up.

I need to take some chances on myself. Reinforce my independence with passion for living and creating. Otherwise, in another year I will posting wishing I had zigged, zagged, and did the straight and narrow.

Writing...

Chapter five, I am proud to say is DONE. Still working on chapter six. I will have to add two more pages to make it a full twenty-four pages. This is not a problem. handwrote the scenes out and will begin to rewrite and correct them later. I am so feeling good today. let's hope the momentum lasts into the next day.

Slacker Saturdays

I had a real great Friday. I did more relaxing than I imagined, and more posting than I thought I was going to do. All the creative writing was done by hand last night. I found after watching Battlestar Galataca and some of Law & Order, I didn't want to do much afterwards. Goofed off by watching some more movies.

Looked over some guidelines for proposals, and highlighted what I needed to to make my comic book submittable. Will have to speak with Cari about the art samples the requirements call for. Today will be the work day, so I best get hopping.

Great Idea

I just spoke with my brother. he gave me a great idea. Fr weeks I have been sending him skits involving the family. He tells me that they were so funny, that he is sure if I could find a way to use the humor to sell stories, he's positive I could make a fortune. I've debated this internally before about using humor. usually I don't think about it. I'm just being silly. I have no idea how funny I really am. So I think I will experiment jsut for fun. I will create a new comic book mini series, and I will write in the style that I do the skits I send him. We will see how its recieved.

I do know my sense of humor is very silly. I can be off the wall a lot of the time, but that's where I like going sometimes. Traces of my humor is found throughout my writings. let's see where this takes me.

Doing Laundry

The important thing about doing the laundry is having that fresh, clean smell on things that were once unclean. I gabbed it all, my towels, my underclothes, shirts and pants, and washed them. I so need them to feel fresh on my, and not have that stuffy, stinky smell in my place. The dish towels spoke to me on a level of necessety. They were like wash me dammit!!! Talk about ad and sour. That had to change, along with all my other dirty laundry.

Drama Free Fridays

Ran a few errands this morning. The one I really wanted to do, my laundry, is delayed. All the machines are in use. I am like, there are other times to get that done. I'm not desperate, yet. I think I needed some rest last night as the stress lifted itself. I don't know why I take myself through so much drama, when I always have the solution, sometimes staring me in the face. I think, what I will do in the future, is simply go over the plan I have to tackle a situation. I choose to call this Friday a "drama free Friday." Now I'm a feed myself then relax. I'll catch a movie on one of these cable channels, and maybe catch some extra z's. This was meant to be.

Bite Me Chaos!!!!

I'm in a bit of a funk today. Stressing and stuff. I am needed some good laughs and a good mood. Irregardless of my mood, I will do some writing tonight. Maybe I should write something funny. You know, lift me up, or get lost in something deep. I don't know. I will play some music and let my spirit be guided by the songs.

I need to mellow out and find me some inner peace to the turmoil that is my life. Chaos surrounds me, and I have a good and kids-sized shoebox for it to be stuffed into. I will NOT give up on myself. I will break free of all that constrains me.

Chaos can bite me! Its time to give attitude back. I am tired of feeling like I needed to be in a slump throughout my day.

My New Path: Thoughts Are Dawning

• What do I want for myself?
• How will I get what I want?
• How do I find solutions to the situations I have?
• Where is my voice?
• How do I become the truly independent creative force that I have long desired to become?
  

Having Faith: The Path To Being a Better Man

Sometimes I lack faith in myself. I have lacked so much faith that if I were an observer, I would think I was watching a man self-destructing. Emphasis on the "self" part. There are so many crisis situations I have made myself. Cleaning up the messes is rough, since I beat myself up in the process of not being perfect. Self-criticism is a crude coping tool. In my mind I am outlawing it.

I need to get over all my fears and doubts. At the very least put them in a very small box, and let them know I'm not living on my fears. Sometimes I need to belive that I can make my way through advestiy. I don't want adversity to be all I have. I want to be happy, and I want to be free of all the negativity and drama that surrounds me. God as my witness, I will no longer live like I thrive off of chaos and insecurities. There must be something more real I can hold onto, and not loose myself.

I want to belive that no matter how hard things get in life, I will finbd a solution through the hard work and efforts I have put into my life. I want to belive that I don't have to be perfect, that I simply need to focus on being an individual, with thoughts and emotions I can own up to. I want to be the man who handles all his affairs in such a way that denotes my professionalism in all that I do. i want to have room to make mistackes, and accept that I can improve myself withing reason. I want to break my comfort zone, which while of my own creation, is a beautiful prison i have locked myself into.

It takes a lot to be a good man in this world/society/lifetime.

Chapters Three, Four and Five

My migraine has returend to me with less intensity. I made myself get out of bed. I need to drink some water, and fix me something to eat. Then I can at least take some Advil, and some vitamins.

The revisons for chapters three and four are completed. I'm leaving them alone for a day or so, so I can look over it with fresh eyes. Chapter five is being worked on. I have been cutting some scenes/pages out, and adding some newer ones that make sense to me, and hopefully the reader. The problem with me is some of the new scenes could go on for pages. Decided to forgo that route. I think some of those scenes can and will be expaned upon if I decide to do another mini-series. It was good to fit those ideas in proper. Chapter five does need a lot more techinical work,such as formatting, and grammatical corrections, which I am happy to work on. I will have the final chapter to complete afterwards, which I will handle with the same vigor.

After chapter six id done, I will work on all the additional isses with the proposal, and all necessary elements. I did want to peep some research on history for a reference.

Called my Dad last night. I wonder about him. He is sometimes very approachable, and other times standoffish. I wonder about him. Oh, well. Life is like that. I suppose he'll be fine. Told him I planned on visiting soon. He was blah. Too much drama for me behind the scenes.

Consolidate

I am trying to get all my email regulars on one email account. This is 'cause its worth my time to check the regs at one stop. Its not as easy as I thought, as I have some people I haven't been in touch with in a while, and I want to get in touch with them.

Speaking of contact, I have an old friend who doesn't speak to me anymore. I thought I had said something to her to piss her off. I was thinking about her because I tried to call her last year during the holidays and she blew me off. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I was like, ok, maybe I'm misreading things, but I called during the holidays just to say "happy holidays." I got the big brush off. Who knows, maybe I am looking at the situation all wrong. I'm not calling this holiday though. LOL

It was busy at the job, and a little tiring, but I made it through. Thank God my migraine went away. I almost stayed home. I felt the lil bastard trying to creap back into my head. Advil was on standby, 'cause I was like not having that kind of pain at work. I hope I'm not stressing. I will make sure to get enough sleep at least, and I took my vitamins.

Working Out the Kinks

I have these creative urges, that need to be set free. I am tired of waiting for them to quiet down. I want to commit my ideas to paper. This means breaking out on the laptop and the notepad and working out the kinks. I have a few thoughts on direction, but that's not important. What is important is that I get the ideas out of my head, and evolving into scripts, whatever they can be.

Headache Supreme

I got a migraine. It started last night, and kept on keeping on until this morning when I woke up. Talk about uncomfortable. I felt awful! I also felt like I was going to puke at any moment, and every flash of light had me feeling awful. Needless to say I tossed and turned, and kept trying to fall asleep all night. I got up this morning and took Advil. I was glad I did as the pain has faded away. Usually stress brings it on, or OD'ing on caffeine. Well, I woun't touch a caffinated drink until I have at least two bottles of water to start my system flushing out the caffeine.

People are getting colds real fast. A few people had that deep in the throat cough. The kind of cough that would make you stand if you were sitting, or loose control of your bladder. I don't want what they have. I'm hitting up the vitamins and garlic tablets ASAP!

Go To Bed, Stacy

I'm feeling my sleep rise, as I struggle to put thoughts down. Its been a full day. I did learn that I need to make my dinner at home. I have truly lost a battle that would have taken me five mins, as I have cooked food in my fridge. Guess what I'm having for dinner tomorrow. It would be out of the fast food resturant, though. ;-)

I have so many ideas and thoughts that I want to put into my notebooks. At the very least, I have to make sure its comfy as tonight it was COLD. OMG I saw people in jackets and I had a fleece on. At least I had something. People were wearing shorts early on, and did not realize that the temerature dropped. Tomorrow will be better.

Breaktime

Lunch was blah today. I spent money on a chicken sandwhich combo from Wendy's. I also got bold on my ass and spent money on a latte. I swear, had prepared lucn I could have reduced my expenses. I pay for my laziness in spades. I looose when I do things like this. It bothers me that I have not said no to psending when I should be getting a stronger grip on finances. I have got to start documenting my spending habits proper. i admit the latte made me feel better, but limit is limits.

The Sound of Creativity.

I wrote this last night, but could not post due to blogger acting up. Nonetheless, I have a dream. My goal is to follow my heart. I’m a concept man. I can create great ideas and I’d love to see them flourish. My goal is to create some now stories that are more reflective of my creativity, and less of me trying to please others. That is I am not worried about whether or not my ideas “fit” into the mold or are on the level pf “acceptability.” I’d rather break free of that constraint. I’d like to see some of my best ideas shared with people who want to read them. Who knows, all my ideas may be totally mainstream, but I keep looking for validation first. Let’s put validation aside for the moment. Talent is here, and dedication is with me. I need to get published, and then validate self. I know it will make me feel 100% great to know people are receiving pleasure from reading my work, as opposed to me thinking they have to like me. Sometimes I put myself through a personal hell, and wonder what went wrong.

I wanna take risks. I want to know that the work might not be successful, but I want to have the chance to write it, and attempt to publish the works. If I don't pitch the work, I feel I have failed myself, and quite frankly, there is no looking back. There is not changing the past. All I can do is move forward, and I prefer that my movements lift me up, as opposed to bringing me down.

I noticed I am more influenced by animation. Perhaps its time do do some detailed studying. Let's start with Bugs Bunny. Shall I?

I Am Tired

Its been a hectic evening, and I feel like all my energy is spent. I hadn't had coffee in two days and I pray that's not the issue. I only like to drink it when I'm feeling slow, and its about that time to to wind down. Chapter three is all but done. I will review it, and the send it off to Cari. She has a great portfolio site, and I it in my link section. She is so dedicated to her craft. I admire that in her. She so has a career in comics. Too tired to go deeper in thoughts, and there are things to do. I want some soda. Root beer to be exact. Maybe I should switch it up.

The Sound of Silence

Today I loafed about, and watched TV. I did take a bath, so now I have that fresh and clean smell and feel to myself. I could have soaked in the tub for hours just relaxing. of course I would look like a brown raisin, which is not very attractive. I should have called some peeps to catch up with them, but I wanted to hear the sound of silence for a while. Hear my own heartbeat, and let the world outside my place keep on keeping on. Today was not about them, but about my peace of mind.

I did cook hamburgers today. They came out wonderful, even though the pot is a little burnt. There is still a kitchen to clean. Will make some mixed veggies to take with me to work tomorrow. I watched some forgettable movies. Peeped "Ultimate Avengers II" on Cartoon Network. I LOVED the inclusion of Black Panther so I was was pleased. Law & Order was on as well.

Didn't do much writing. I decided to have a loaf about day, and I am pleased I took hat direction. I was able to focus on my resting and not feeling like I'm overworked. You can best believe that I will be back on track tomorrow. A day off is great, but I plan to be done with revisions by Thursday. :-) I love a great plan.

Chapters 3, 4 & 5

Whoo, I am ready for some rest. I fiinshed chapter 3's revisons. Started chapter four, and only need to tweak some pages proper. I don't think I'm adding any pages to chapter four. Five is another story. Chapter six gets some additions as well. I am very happy about the progress and hope to work thing out accordingly. Enough talk, it relax time.

I.S.S. (Not Really)

In response to my last post; I'm so stupid! Don't I write this blog the way I want to? It doesn't matter if people hate the material. If it was, i would have stopped writing in 2003. I keep writing without regards to opinions. I love my blog's low profile. It doesn't matter that multiple people are not reading and commenting. I don't even know all the people reading it. Most who do never leave comments, and its all good. Dedication is a strength that many don't possess. Needless to say what's been in front of my eyes all along is who I really am, and what I wanted from my writing. I don't get paid for blogging, and I will keep writing until I'm forced to give it up.

Let's make the fiction flow like Yeah I Wrote This Blog. This is my life lesson for my year. All that I can do, I've done before, and will keep on keeping on.

Stacy Un-Squared

I have these story concepts and ideas I put on the back burner because some of them were dark, and others were so silly, I thought people would reject the ideas and eventually myself. Its hard to take rejection, sometimes, and I can't fortify myself enough to break away from the sting rejection sets.

Sometimes I can be so stupid. It doesn't matter what people think at this point of the creative process. All things written down are merely concepts that are for me to figure out how to execute. Why not write the concepts out and then evaluate them afterwards? I really need to dust off my writing self-esteem, and wear it like a badge. My creativity will lead me to success, and I will not be held hostage by my unfounded fears.

So what if the stories and ideas are not mainstream? I'm not mainstream. I march to the beat of my own drum. I do as I please (most of the time), and I don't want anybody to tell me how to live or feel. (I should get a tattoo.-NOT) Sometimes conforming sucks, unless it pays the bills. I want to take more chances with my writing, and I want to challenge myself to break out of the mindset of tailoring my stories to please others. This is only a mask for me to be accepted, and if you like the real me, then the real writing will shine through, dark story or no-quality is quality. Why don't I work on pleasing me, and making myself happy? Success will follow and flow like a river.

I will be brainstorming more tonight and I don't care if it seems silly or downright dark/scary. I no longer want to be afraid of my own thoughts. As an artist I am journeying to independence.

I feel so naughty, and it feels good.

Exodus Lyrics by Utada

I am so digging this song right now.

Exodus '04
by Hikaru Utada
album: Exodus (2004)

With you these streets are heaven
Now home feels so foreign
They told me I was mistaken; infatuated
And I was afraid to trust my hunches
Now I am ready

Daddy don’t be mad that I’m leaving
Please let me worry about me
Mama don’t you worry about me
This is my story

Through mountains high and valleys low
The ocean through the desert snow
We’ll say goodbye to the friends we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Through traffic jams in Tokyo
New music on the radio
We’ll say goodbye to the world we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Landscapes keep changing
His story teaches something
I know I could be mistaken but my heart has spoken
I cannot redirect my feelings
The waves have parted

Daddy don’t be mad that I’m leaving
Please let me worry about me
Mama don’t you worry about me
This is my story

Through mountains high and valleys low
The ocean through the desert snow
We’ll say goodbye to the friends we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Through traffic jams in Tokyo
New music on the radio
We’ll say goodbye to the world we know
This is our exodus ‘04

I’m listening to a music never-ending
My baby don’t you know I’ll never let you down
You’ve opened me to so many different endings
But baby I know that you’ll always be around

Through mountains high and valleys low
The ocean through the desert snow
We’ll say goodbye to the friends we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Through traffic jams in Tokyo
New music on the radio
We’ll say goodbye to the world we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Through mountains high and valleys low
The ocean through the desert snow
We’ll say goodbye to the friends we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Through traffic jams in Tokyo
New music on the radio
We’ll say goodbye to the world we know
This is our exodus ‘04

Chapter Three III

The revisions are nearly done for chapter three. I decied to take a little break from writing, as I have tomorrow to devote to revisons before giving the script to Cari. I did have to do some cutting of scenes, but I am not sad about it. I was receptive of the changes because the bottom line is that the cutting had to be done. I learned long ago, that cutting parts of written works is vital to the overall story. Sometimes I can change the sentences and make the words stronger. Other times there isn't a damn thing I can do. Some words fail me, and thus would fail a reader. How can I be upset with the progress I've made, when I know that the story will be stronger for my efforts? It would be wrong of me, as a writer, to think that all the parts of the story are so golden that they cannot be deleted.

I should also mention it is not as easy as it might seem. I did some re-reading several times to get the ideas correct. I even read parts of the script aloud. Did the dialogue seem true? Did it seem weak? How did the descriptions sound? I also came up with a wicked idea along the way. This pleases me, to keep producing ideas. I am making a promise to myself to start a new series when I am done with this one.

Hectic Night

While at work there was some sort of gathering going on for Savannah State. Some kind of black and white party where the people wear, well, black and white clothing. It meant that there was a LOT of extra cars than there was usually near the library at night. Someone parked so close to the back of my car I thought his car married mine.

Another guy was helping his pal parallel park. The helpful pal made the mistake of standing in the parking space. The driver backed his car into the guy, pinning him to the car behind him. He nearly crushed his pal's legs while parallel parking. Fortunately, the driver caught himself in time. Otherwise I would have had a full view of a man getting his legs crushed.

There were some sharp dressed people turning out. Some chicks in hoochie gear making their way to the event. The lady that stepped out of the car look like she was ready for a rap video. Of course, some people didn't know how to act, and tied up traffic some. It made Broughton street a little undesirable to be at tonight. All of this was the calm before the storm.

Soon there were police lights and an abulance siren going off, as the place down the stree was getting crazy. I heard from someone that the police entered, tear gassed and maced people in the building, which was said to be too small. None of this is verified, so I can't say that's what really happened, but if it did, that's scary. When I left work, there were still police lights going on. I may hear about it on the news tomorrow.

Well all I wanted to do is get home. Of course while going home two people driving were like annoyed with each other, as one, drove too slow for the other. We were all heading the same way, taking the same turn off. The second guy sccoted over to the next lane to cut the other guy off. Keep in mind I kept my distance, because I HATE being around people who drive erratic. I'd rather let them out do each other while I keep my distance.

I Am Tired

I didn't feel like blogging, but I decided to do it anyways. What can I say, at least five sentences, and I am done. It's just that easy right? Yesterday was an ok day at work. No real upsets to speak of, which is good. I do have more items to ship off, so I have work to do when I get in.

Still working on chapter three. I decided that what would wok is that I handle nine pages per day, until I'm off, and I can do more with my free time. I'm on page nineteen, so I will step up my game and finish what this chapter. I do see a need to cut scenes out, as they can be trimmed.

Had a brief discussion with Cari about the story. She believes its fine as is, but we both have knowledge the reader is unaware of, and I would love to add more details to the scenes. Some of the revisions is simply adding a few lines of dialogue to make ideas more clear to the reader. Also, there were structure problems (overwrote the first chapter), which forces me to adjust the chapter endings, or face some inconsistency from me. Still, I am grateful for the vote of confidence.

Its a process I love. I think I will compile a lit of ideas. I still need to create a cast list for the story proper, and some other details that have yet to be explained. Also, I have some ideas for other stories that I would like to

The End of NEXTWAVE: Agents of Hate

This is coped from writer Warren Ellis' blog on Myspace. My happy day hits a snag.

The NEXTWAVE Thing

Some of you have been asking, a lot of you won't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about, but for the sake of completeness:

---

Okay. I just this second got the go-ahead from Nick Lowe to talk about this. So here we go:

Sales on the singles are okay, if not great. Sales on the first collection have apparently been terrific.

We were on such a roll with NEXTWAVE that I was actually into the idea of doing a second year, which is highly unusual for me and work-for-hire properties. So Marvel sat down and looked at the numbers, as they wanted to do a second year too.

What they found was that, at our current sales levels, they could afford for me to write it, but not for Stuart to draw it. Stuart, as a Marvel-exclusive artist, commands a fee commensurate with his astonishing talent. I'm WFH-exclusive too, but they just send me whisky and loose women and I'm fine. So, basically, I could continue to write NEXTWAVE, but we'd need to find another artist. This, to me, was just wrong. I mean, Stuart would obviously be given a far better job that had actual readers attached to it, but it still seemed a bit like the numbers were conspiring to fire him for doing his job too well. Everyone at Marvel pitched in to try and make it work, but the numbers were just against us.

So NEXTWAVE #12 will be the final issue of the ongoing series.

(To clear up a common misconception: NEXTWAVE was always pitched as an ongoing series. However, my original intent was to do 12 and then pass it on to someone else. This got garbled, somewhere down the chain of communication, and so the first issue or two got solicited as "part xxx of 12?.)

However. The numbers game changes when you posit things in terms of limited series.

NEXTWAVE #12 will be the last issue of the ongoing series: but there will be more NEXTWAVE to come, presented as a sequence of limited series.

This was all worked out some months ago, so I had plenty of time to work the final NEXTWAVE sequence into a conclusion of sorts. #11 even features a twelve-page spread that you'll have to buy six copies of the comic to assemble into its full splendour. Everyone wishes I'd thought of that eight or nine months ago.

That was the news. Return to your duties.

– W

(feel free to copy and spread far and wide, thereby saving me the job.)

Great Work Experience

Today was going to be so blah by way of work, as people tortured me with a visit evry five mins until I decided to sit at the front desk to engage people directly. i also thought this would curb my irritation with people. LOL It worked.

More important I had a professor who was fustrated, and busy most of the time, and I took my time to help her look up some dvd's and video tapes. She told me that by helping her, I took off some of the fustration she was under, and that she usually doesn't get good service when she visits the library. I was in the mood to help as I could tell she was in true need of service (most students want me to do ALL their work for them).

Well she wanted to speak with my supervisor, and she told him that she would indeed let him know how important my help was to her. I know this sounds sappy, but that comment made my week. I LOVE when people are satisfied with service, and really want help, and got great help. I can tell you all stories of how some people come in and truly test all of my (and other staff members' paitence). I am aglow with happiness. Even if she doesn't tell my supervisor, it doesn't matter to me. She was happy and I love to see people happy.

Rigatoni Adventures

I swear I am going for the coffee in a few moments. I am cooking some rigatoni pasta to go with my spagetti sause. The sause is so good, I could eat it by itself. made some rigatoni the other day, and you know what happned? It stuck together. Felt like I was eating raviolli. I listed to some so and so told me that I shouldn't put oil in the pasta water some the sauce can stick to the pasta. On, ho, put that oil in that water, rigatoni needs to be seperated, because it clumped together like crazy. i was so irriated, as I had to pull apart the rigatoni shells, whcih also flattend, and also had that ravioli texture when I ate it.

Well if at first I didn't succeed, then I'm using oil. Now I have to worry about the bite the pasta has. So long as they don't clump together, all will be fine.

Post 34

This is kind of cool. This month, I posted more frequent than usual. In fact I keep up with the blogging on a regular basis these days. I noticed that I have reached my thirty-fourth post, and I did this earleir this year in January. I am very happy to say that I love the idea of writng more frequent. Each year my postings have become more frequent, and therefore a lot better, IMO. I never gave much thought to my updating, but I do love blogging. The next goal is to top my output, so expect a few more psots this month. I must say, I outdid my expectations without thinking too hard on it. I have had a productive time in my life that would not be possible if I didn't keep writing.

Visiting the Dearlership For My Ride's Repairs

This is me at Pep Boys a few days ago, before they told me they couldn't replace the hazzard switch in my car. They made me watch all of The Rachel Ray Show like it was ok or something. (I jest RR fans-don't hate me I still love 30 Min Meals). Let me tell you the waiting room could use a little cleaning. I thought if I stayed any longer I would have bought some bleach and wiped it down myself. Those who know me know I don't clean unless its real dirty. UGH!

Ok, I went to sleep late last night, and I got up early to visit the dealership and get my car serviced proper. I needed to replace the hazard light, and I made myself awaken to do it. If I didn't I would be so sorry. You see, I mentioned earlier how my blinkers stopped blinking. I couldn't make left or right signal turns. I was so distressed on the road.

I have always had the benefit of signals. I felt so vulnerable on the road, as I knew I was being risky without signals. I limited my driving time greatly. I was upset that I was on the road like that. What if an accident occurred. Well, thank God that problem is over. Talk about happy. I felt like a million bucks! Yeah, I know, I am a spaz for loving my signal, but I missed a simple function. You never appreciate something until you loose it.

Saturn did me good, I can't hate on them as they got down to business. I listened in the lobby to my iPod (Exodus by Utada rocks), and in 30 mins they were like "Mr. Haynes you're good to go." They cleaned my car, and I didn't even recognise it. ROFLMAO!!! I shamed myself. it looks so clean. Gotta love the efficiency. Last time I went to Saturn, I couldn't give a flip about a car wash, I spent over $500.00! I was grumbling all the way home.

Got home and went to lay down. There was no need in staying awake. Between "Divorce Court" and "Judge Mathis" I fell asleep. Woke up and tried the Sumatra coffee. When people said bold and spicy I was expecting a kick. its strong, but I wanted some fire down my throat. LOL Like I'm drinking peppers right? ;-) it was good though, I can't lie. Gotta love good coffee.

Chapter Three II

I got the new scene written. It's two pages. I was worried that I couldn't do it in two pages. I was afraid of dragging the content out to a boring lenght, or a lenght that suggests that it needs its own chapter number or zip code. I worry too much. I got what I neede to say on those pages, and so I am very pleased.

Cari told me that we could have a potential editor. Fascinating. At this point its all Cari and myself as far as the work goes. I write, she draws, it pretty simple. How do I feel with someone else's input? I don't know, but it would allow us both to have a fresh, independent POV. You know, the editor can see the things we don't see.

I am not tired, but I got shit to do tomorrow. Its going to a productive day. I hope to try the new Sumatra coffee I bought. I'm all excited about this. It came from my Starbucks budget/card, so I don't have to panic about the cost. A friend said it was good, and the coffee selector on Starbucks website suggested it. If its nasty I'm blaming them.

Comments

Hello All,

Just a quick not to my readers and comment posters. If you leave a comment, your name would be helpful so I can respond to you. Please introduce yourselves as well, so I can get to know you better. Otherwise you're just a ghost in the wind.

Chapter Three

I started revising chapter three late last night. This is me trying to do things away from the computer, and relizing some pros and cons. For one. Chapter two had four pages I didn't use. I was going to put them in chapter 3 naturally. When I started reading chapter three, I realized that the four pages were already in ch. 3. I took them out and was hoping to add them in earlier. Found out the hard way they didn't fit, so I am back to square one with them. I still need to cut a few scenes out of ch 3 to make room for a decent flashback a couple of characters need.

Discussed the roles of the women in the story with a friend. She was concerned that some of the female characters may come off as witchy. Some of the ladies in the story are very assertive in their own right, and their personalities do conflict. To me they are driving the story forward. They are great characters because they aren't taking whatever is thrown their way and accepting it as staus quo. I don't know if that made sense to her. I will ask her when I speak to her later.

Decided to compare the gusy in the story. I have one alpha male who is good at being bad, and somehow I think that will translate to the character having popularity. The other two are works in progress. As at least one of them is going through changes in the story. I'd like to see him rounded out much more, as opposed to as a mere story element. Maybe he needs some background information told about him. Clearly he is the object of several people's eyes, and I want him to have genuine reactions to his enviroments and people. I don't know. I will work on that.

Chapter Two

It is so done. I managed to complete it. I am happy about that. Still I prefer to be lazy afterwards and enjoy some movies. I need to get off the damn net, but I am enjoying the time. Also, listening to music. I can't beat that.

Saturdazed

The spagetti sauce is cooking, and all that's left is the noodles. Life is good. I was thinking about my spending habits. I'm not proud of this, but it used to be that I didn't think about the consequences of spending without paying my bills first. It is a HUGE mistake to do so, and one can reap some mad pain without thinking of how spending thoughtlessly can affect your life.

To my credit (no pun intended), this month, I was ready do a tiny bit of splurging. Each time I tried I stopped. My first thought was, "I hadn't paid any bills yet." This was so true, and on top of this I have some care expenses to deal with. I so hate unexpected expense, but it is a true fact of life. What I want is to not go through the dram of having my cable suspended, or another late fee due to me being careless. i am so much more than my late fees and bills. I can't be defined simply by my credit rating alone.

I decided that if it isn't necessary, I wasn't spending at all. For the time being, I will make do with what I have. I want to pay my bills after I visit the dealership and get my hazzard switch replaced. I will then spend the money accordingly. My bills will be paid. I am going to take up whatever slack I have to when I get paid again, but I will NOT splurge!

I am VERY thankful for the voice of maturity in my head. I am also very grateful that I am able to act upon that voice, which seems to be getting stronger every day. I am hoping the maturity will bring a sence of balance and order to my life. I am learning structure to bild upon my future. It's not easy, but like writing, its a challenge that I am very pleased to be going through.

Cooking

I have had my fill of lattes this week. Too much of a great thing I think. Too much gave me a vicious migrane. Cleaning my kitchen. About to make the spegetti I said I would last post. We'll see how good things turn out, no?

Food!

Tomorrow is Spagetti day, and I for one am very pleased with cooking. I need to stop by the store and pick up some bread and soda. I think that's about it.

Full Day

I love this Friday. My friend and I went out to chill and dicuss the story. We did more looking at books other than discuss our own. LOL It was worth it though. I liked getting out of the appartment. The car needs a hazzard flasher that only the dealer can replace. I'm not crazy about that but I can get that done on Monday.

Last night did some revising. Chapter two is nearly complete. the content is all there. The revisions are the things I need to get going with. Glad to know my artist loves the story, so revisions will be very exciting. Will work on a proposal after Law and Order tonight. Sorry, I love a good tv show, and L & O and Battlestar Galactica is on tonight. Can't be missing my shows.

Big Thoughts

My mind is open to new possibilities as I try to expand my talents beyond their comfort zone. I am working on changing the world through my creativity. I intially told a friend the world was not ready for our success, but what are we waiting for? Ready or not...

Do I have to win the lotto to be a happy man? (would be nice though)

You Gotta Love Life

Its been a good day, and it ended well. I am happy to be home. got a letter in the mail today form the college. Had to wait to open it, and I was excited because I was sure thant it was a "you've been accepted in the writng program" letter. Awwwww hell yeah!!! To my dismay, ironicly, it was the college letting me know I got a raise. What kind of madness am I falling into where the diappointment is met with surprise, and bliss? Don't answer that. It wasn't that big a raise, yet it is just enough to make me smile a little and make a positive effort to forget the horseshit that goes on behind the scenes.

New Playlist

Must remind myself to make a new playlist of fun, upbeat music. Sometimes I have to gorget about the craziness, and just be happy, even if its for an hour. Sometimes you gotta let go, and sometimes you gotta bust a move 'cause I need some silliness in my life. Started writing again, like I new I would. LOL If writng was crack, I would never be able to break the habbit. You could dextox me, and I'd find a way to write. Its a great thing I love writing and not drugs. Life is so much better.

My Break

I overheated my dinner, and now I have to wait for it to cool off. I was thinking I didn't want to write today, as I fell like I want to be lazy, but everytime I get like that I find a new detail to add to my stories. I need eight pages of my revisions done. I feel lazy when I don't do it, and eight pages is not too much to ask for especially when I already wrote four of them. I am trying to give my story more texture and depth. Slowly I'm getting there.

The Universal Machine

Its an ok day so far. I am still needing to get my blinkers working prpoer. My car's guidebook suggests that its the fuses that don't work. Darn fuses. LOL I will attempt to check them tomorrow. A co-worker suggested that people don't use them in Savannah anyways, so i should be fine. LOL I feel vulnerable without them, and use them. I need them working. So I will get up, check the fuze area, then stop by the Auto Parts store I know they have fuses. Otherwise they are just sorrier than sorry. ROFLMAO!!!!!

Ghetto Auto Parts Store

I just knew I was in trouble when I walked in and at the counter the cashier had her back to the cutomer eating her lunch no break room must be in the area. I had a flashback to an oil change place that one of the mechanics stopped servicing cars to curse out whoever was on his cell. When a man, will at work, get into the "motherfucker" territory regardless of who is around, there's a problem. Likewise walked passed Quiznos, and the server was outside on his cell starting conversaitons with "motherfucker." I want to laugh, I really do, but I was sad. i really wanted to find a flasher for my car.

Tired Already

Work has been on the exausting side this week. I am so tired. I was supposed to make spagetti today, instead i got up and got a haircut, which I so needed. it was like a little bush on top my head. When I brushed it, there was no good shape to it. I conditioned my hair and scapl, and my hair gets thick. I HATE how the conditioner just sits on my hair. The cut was such a relief. I miss my Charleston barber. Still don't have that in GA, yet.

Wanted to purchase a flasher for my car. The curent blinkers are giving me pure hell. Went to the auto parts store. Not only do they not carry my model, they can't oder it. Ugh! This means a trip to the dealer that I LOATHE! I get overcharged every time. They cost me my rent money, and the after effects from months ago are still felt today. I am so pissed. Maybe I can find it online.

Work is drama filled with admin issues. I am determined to solve any disputes and be done with all negative aspects. I don't need any stress, and will have none. The power of positive thoughts is one thing I will master if it takes me a lifetime to do so.

Jaded vs. Bittersweet.

Started songwriting again. If I had to lable the songs in a collection, I would call it "Jaded" and I am so, but it makes for good mateiral. oddly if I added music I may make the tempo upbeat, the lyrics and music would be on the ironic side. Why is this guy singing uptempo sad songs? LOL I like to. Mabye "Bittersweetz' would be a better title.

Dogpile On Mr. H.

OMG why is it that the new work times are working against me. It seems when evrybody (other staff) leaves the building, that's when ALL the patrons visit the desk with questions concerning the library, and to check out books. Keep in mind its only me working. It gets hectic, and I pray for my break time. Every five mins and I am working on something new. I need to fix my tasks, but I can't. I got me a latte and headed for the break room where I heated my dinner (some great vegatable rice and bbq ribs. ) Dinner was so good, I wanted more, but alas, I'm not home, so I have to make due. I need to make the meat sause for my spagetti this week.

Latte takes me away. Forget Calgon that sh*t don't do wonders during the workday.

Wrote four pages last night for my comic. I like them, and will add a couple more to the pages tonight. I intially handwrote them, which made things a lot better when I typed them out. I should get onto my other two stories, as it would be nice to triple my output without killing myself.

Foot Cramp!

Came home to rest myself, and the moment I took off my shoes, put my feet on my bed, I felt it, the dreaded foot cramp. Did it hurt? Hell yeah! The pain was rough and I could have howled like a wolf in agony. I couldn't walk this one off, all I could do is lay there and silently go through the pain. When the muscles finally relaxed, I was afraid to get off the bed and move around. I did though. I think I need to by some cousions for my shoes or something.

Embracing My Inner Mind

Most people wouldn't know, but I have a wicked sense of humor. I usually keep it in check because quite frankly, not everybody's amused by all things, and I do want to be taken seriously...some of the time. I had this crazy idea/joke I emailed my brother, and he emailed me back telling me I was crazy. He found the joke real funny, and said it was too bad I couldn't share this humor with other people. He was sure it would be worth the time and energy to give people a good laugh and be successful at it. For the record I made a joke about a movie and cast some people we knew in the scene. We both knew it was good for a laugh, but no one else would get it.

This is the second time I have done this and didn’t capitalize on it. I sent a friend an email as a silly joke about what was going on. She called me later and said she was laughing so hard her mascara ran. She told me she was going to have to put stock in Mabelne if I kept sending her joke emails. These were stories about how the day was going. Whatever I have, I have a certain gift for humor. My guess is that my blog has this aspect, because several people have told me how funny they have found the readings. Well, let's put this too the test. I will try to write like I always do, and try not to censor my ideas, so at the very least, you will be hearting about how my writing shapes up? Wouldn’t it be nice to carve my own path to success?

it'd be nice if I won the lotto too, while I am talking success. Let's see how crazy I can be. (Secretly, I think I was a mad cartoonist in another life-this one too-history repeats itself).

I Am Hungry

Law & Order SVU has a marathon on, which I am hopelessly addicted to. I am loving my crime shoiws in the afternoon. :-) I want to get something to eat, and I need to fix dinner. I have been very lazy this week-end, which I needed t be, at least so I can rest my nerves. This means jumping back into writing. I've had my days to get over what bothered me. I'd like to think I'm invincible, and only I limit myself, which often I do, but sometimes I feel like I need to be easy on myself. Here's to a wonderful day full of positive enrgy and outcomes.

Thinking Out Loud

I have this idea concerning the comic book I'm working on...

If I have six issues to tell a tale, then what tale am I telling? Can I descibe it to others in a two sentences or less? If I can't then I need to hit it back for some good revison. The backbone of the story is complete. What i need to do is create something that is distinct enough in my talents that it will be noticed, and worthy of attention. No biggie, right? Its time to look over the material, break it down to the essential elements, and build on the backbone this story already has.

I am such a dork for worrying. The talent and drive is already here, willing & able.

Cool Afternoon

Wow, I stepped outside to find it far cooler than expected. Normally its so hot, when I step outside, I step right back in and close my door. I will say this is a pleasant surprise. Another neighbor has incredibly loud music. Ugh!!!! Can't enjoy this cool day while listening to someone else's music. I think I put up with too much. Well documenting the times, so I can report this to the office manager. Its so necessary to my peace at home.

Ain't Got No Remedy

Feeling a little blue. Time will wash away the mood, but my muse is in slumberland until I come up from under. What the hell, why am I in such a funk? Don't I deserve to be happy? Am I not skilled, talented, and able to make myself happy? I got some music on, and I aim to wring the dreary out of my night. I hearby promise myself that Saturday will be a better day with me finishing my writings. BTW I want to redo chapter two of my comic book. I had some thoughts on how to improve some scenes.

I am feeling better already.

Weird Dreams

Ok, I have the reoccurring dream where my intimidator and me get into a situation. This dream always ended the same. I would be completely intimidated and bullied until I woke up. Fun dream, right. This time was very different. I was the aggressor this time around. Furthermore I was able to look the aggressor in the eyes and tell him to either do your worst or shut the hell up. I was tired of going though the BS. Yeah, in my dream, I was somewhat lucid. I did expect me on the receiving end of an attack. The aggressor made a few scare tactic moves, but then, he started whimpering, and cried. Fight was over. Wow. I like this dream.

It beats the other odd one I had. I dreamt I went to work, and this woman came in to tell us about her sexual habits with her husband. Gave too much personal details, and was LOUD. I tried to keep typing at my 'puter, but all I could hear is what the woman was telling people her husband did to her. When I woke up, I started laughing. What the hell was that all about?

Independence, A Reflection

On 9/30/05 I was called to be told that I had the job as Circulation Assitant in Savannah, GA. I had an ear to ear smile like the Joker put that gass on me. The next call I got was a pissed off customer. She didn't phase me in the least. She wanted to know why Verizon Wireless lost her money. I aimed to find it for her. I belived I did. Filled out various forms to get her some measure of satisfaction.

October 5th, 2006, I submitted my letter of resignation to Verizon Wireless. I was so relived to give this to my then boss, Jesse. It was his bithday, but I was ready to leave VZW as an employee. This was my stab at independance as I left the comforts of my home, for a new city, new job, and a brand new chapter in my life.

The 24th will mark the full year of me being an employee of the library. For better or worse, I am glad I made it through this time.

I lasted 11 months at Verizon Wireless. That is the shortest I have ever stayed at a job. Before VZW I worked over 4 years at the College of Chrleston's library. Before that 2 1/2 years at a conference assistant. Before that, 2 1/2 years as a library assitant. I love to stay where I am, don't like the chaos that surrounds me.

Sometimes I have to stop and take stock of the direction my life is flowing.

What A Night

Been a busy day work. I am so tired, and hope a good night's rest will kick out the kinks of a funky-crazy day. Wore the supervior's hat today. It was the mean, you're fired hat. Too much BS is the works. I loathe to be this serious, as I know people are going to get their feelings hurt, but people are pushing me to the wall, and that doesn't happen when I'm in charge. Being open and freindly is getting people thinking he's a pushover, and that's not the case. I didn't become a supervisor to fight with people, nor get upset all day over decisions, but I know this for sure; I am willing to back my actions and stand by my descisions.

As i type this, i have a strong sense that things are shifting. My life is moving in ways that I can't fully see yet. there is a bigger picture, and a brighter side to my life that will soon be revealed to me. it's weird, but there is an ivisible hand guiding me. Is it all in my head? I doubt that. A sense of growth is upon me.

Keep On Writing, You

I got to chapter 2 and rewrote it. Some of the characters are much more dynamic, and others have some good background to them. I need to look over a scene or two, and decide if its worthy of staying the same or no. It depends on the break I take from it to look it over. Some of the characters have evolved, and asserted themselves in ways I didn't think about before. I was pleasantly surprised.

I've got to get to chapter 3 today. I want to see what I can improve with this part. I know already that the character changes in ch. 2 affect what goes on,
so I already have some work ahead of me. :-)

Don't Sleep On Me, Dammit!!!!!

I had a friend once, describe to people she didn't like, that they "could kiss her ass in a JC Penny window if they didn't like what they saw." She pulled no punches, sparred no feelings, and let things go on the spot. I have to admire her brazeness. I thought about it. What would it be like to live your life like you really don't give a damn how others with negative attitudes and actions think about you?

We live in a world where you earn your keep, and I was thinking of sharpening the edge of my mellowness. I think I'll adopt her philosophy. Try it on, as to see if I can channel energy into something postive for me. I want to take a good risk, a leap of faith that I can handle life on my terms, and get down to business.

EDIT: To clarify, I'm not about blasting people out, but rather cutting out all the petty horshit that can vcome with a workday, or dealing with pople. I am also willing to settle things directly, and professionaly. I have always been a nice guy, and I am not shedding my niceness, just putting myself in a place that if I have to bare my fangs, then they will show.

Writing Fool XV

Whoooo, I have been writing like crazy. I am like mad excited over the revisons I have done on chapters one and two. I am still working on chapter two, and will complete it sometime between today and tomorrow (my projected goal). I am excited becuase I am able to explore, and expand on several characters and scenes within the story. I have been able to give the right enough information to make the characters more sympathetic, and empathetic. When I first wrote them, I could not see this. I am looking at characters in a whole new light. They need that. The characters were waiting for their moment to shine. Now I have the opportunity to make the appropriate changes. This is feel-good progress for me. I have never completed a multi-part story, so revising all six chapters will make me stronger and happier. By time I am done, I will be very confidant that we will get the mini-series published.

I don't want to fawn all over myself. it is hard to write, and I do love being in the process of re-writing and revising to make a story better. I suppose you can say that I am totally within my element. I know when it gets published I will be happy to place my name on this title. This is like a great story i would not dare quit on, because the time and energy suggests that it is so worth the energy.

Its So Late

I'm doing my rewrites tonight. Rewrote chapter one, and edited it just right. Went onto chapter two, and got some of it done. i'm going to bed, because frankly I need to sleep. I need to make dinner, so if I stay up longer I might as well saty up for the rest of the day, and that ain't good at all. I am very please with the direction the story has gone, and the re-writes for the mini-series are tighter and wonderful to work though.

Stacy's Fave Comics: Top Ten

To say I like this trade paperback is an over simplification. Top 10 is one of my ablsolute fave reads. I would dare say it influenced what I thought about super hereoes in comic books. Think about this, its a world populated with super powered beings, and the cops of Top Ten are all super powered. Its something worth reading. its written by Alan Moore, and illustraded by Gene Ha. I so enjoyed it.

Happy Birthday To Meeeee!!!

Its my birthday. What did I do this weekend? I chilled. Marinaded some meats for tomorrow and the following week. Listened to some music, and am thankful for another birthday to arrive. I feel a little odd, different. How old am I again? LOL Damn, I forget. Once I passed thirty I stoped counting ROFLMAO!!!!! Actually I'm 36. Four more years and I will be fourty. I need to be done with grad school before then. I said at 45 I would be well into my elelment and would be at least settling into my own home, with all my bill paid on time and money in the bank. Still working towards that.

Maybe I need to find a new path and work with I got going. Its a thought, but I noticed that I can do as I need to do, and not as the world would have me do. I need to stop waiting for life to come get me. Life I'm comming for you!