My Short Story

As mentioned in my last post, I'm writing a short story about a relationship that turns sour. It's interesting as I build layers onto the protagonist. Apparently her mother and boyfriend are the source of all her woes. It's only got two pages worth of material so far, and I think it will take some time to get it put together. I did notice its the simple things the character does, that I relate to. it's hot, and she's miserable because of it, and her activity is centered around Kool-Aid. I think what happens next will depend on the flavor of Kool-Aid, and its availability to her. Silly?

Reclaiming My Fiction

Whoo, I did some crazy things yesterday. Wrote some erotic fiction (for those who don't know, I swore I would make my graduate thesis about erotica-but its one of many ideas), and I have to say I will NEVER show what I wrote this week end to anyone. It was that awful . ROFLMAO!!! maybe I can take the sex parts out and salvage the plot-NOT. LMAO!

I wanted to write fiction without the use of the slang words. Something sexy, without going too over the top. I find I am not as articulate as I'd like to think. Its humbling, or perhaps I don't know how to straddle the line between the gutter and surface. The way I was brought up, is there is no such thing as sex, and if there was you can't talk about it. That's why they call it "the nasty." We don't call this the "dirty south" for nothing. ASIDE: Let us see if this joke was worth telling.

I also wrote a prose story about a domestic relationship turning sour in the summertime. If that doesn't sound like a tart of a tale, I don't know what will. This one is very unsexy, and rather bittersweet. I love it, and wish to go further.

Evanescence - Lithium

What the Freak? Rated G!

So I'm that goody-two shoes blogger. Let me play hopscotch while I sing. We're having Bambi movies going on, and some other inane crap to work with because I am going down when I get a freaking rated G. That hurt my feelings a little. Now I gotta go sit at the kids table again. We're serving vanilla ice cream, and singing nursery rhymes. ;-)

What The Heck...

Mingle² - Online Dating

Like, " No Duh"

I am 50% Addicted to Coffee

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Well, Well, Well

So, I woke up for class, and I was not feeling it. While not late for class, I missed my chance to eat a breakfast. Learned a lot about Nan Jun Paik today. He did video installations and sculpture. Have to go write a one page parer on him, so I need to bust that out tomorrow or Saturday. it's due Tuesday, and I know if I do it on the weekend, I will have time to edit it. Yeah. Go me!

I need a latte, BTW, for not having one for a couple days.

I am now entering my faux Professor X phase, as I noticed many people assume I have telepathy. People have talked to me as if I read minds. I love that they think I'm special, so I take it as flattery, as oppose to the insult they have brought to me. Anyways if I was a telepath I've be wealthy, because I would literally know every body's secrets, and I would blackmail all the wealthy people. It would be like a kick in the crotch for all those who have the funds to keep their secrets secret. This is why God never gave me telepathy.

Chante Moore - It's Alright

Stacy's Sorting Hat

OK, I really don't have a sorting hat, but I do have a school, and classification to think about. Furthermore I need to look at what classes I need to be on top of. Really, I want to make a list of classes I need to get on top of. I need a plan so I don't put too many similar classes together, and feel that strain of boredom. So far the art history class is the great ice breaker. I may take the next one next summer. I know I don't want another one on right after that. Not to fear, I have an English class lined up. Next will be a core class. I don't even want to think about when I take two classes per quarter.

Working...

Multi-tasking can be tricky as I try to line up my work, and get some stuff done proper. I am working on my writings (fiction and non-fiction), my artwork, classes, and my job. Yes, I am busy. Yes it will pay off in the long run. Yes it give me great pleasure to do it all. It's like that, and I am grateful to God for positivity in my life. It's up to me to remember that I do have plenty of good to focus on.

Took some pictures of some of my older art pieces. They have to be edited in Photoshop for cropping, and a real paltry attempt to adjust the coloring. I used the camera on my phone, and the lighting was not so cool. Decided it was better to hold off before posting them. I rushed my Photoshop adjustments. I am refusing to filter them because I want people to seethe images without the special effects.

Writing Once More

Started volume two of my comic. It's been tough, but I am breaking things down by the scene, and working from there. This second scene is so involved that I am obsessed with completing it. Yes I am, and I love being in the thick of working the details out. Its one of the best challenges I face as a writer. I love it. The fist scene to me is how I want it to be, and really needs minor adjustments, therefore it can be left alone, for the first draft.

I am thinking that if I get no contact from the publisher on July 9th, I will reclaim vol. 1, and hold onto it until vol. 3 is completed. I will reformat it to be a three-volume graphic novel. I did vision my idea as a trilogy, and each volume was self-contained. I am nervous and excited. Go Me!

What To Do...

My mind is in a million places, and I need a couple of days off for sure. I crave rest at this point, and next week should be stress free. When I get home, I need to eat and then relax, that's all. I can't write when I have this hyper of thought.

Eddie Murphy is Mel B.'s "Baby Daddy"

Oh, wow. I suppose congrats are in order for Eddie. A friend and I were talking about this. We wondered why Eddie would deny paternety in such a public forum. OMG it was like he called Mel B. a ho, without saying the word. I know she was hurt (at least I had the feeling she was). I know in love (or out of love), some people can get real insensitive, but damn. What he did was so cold, I felt brushed off. LOL Again, for the sake of the child, I hope this can be gotten past.

50 Cent & Child Support

According to this article, 50 Cent pays $25,000 a month & household expenses for his child. The mother of his child says its "not enough." Wow. That's a minimum of $300,000 plus a year. Since this has been made public, I wounder how the current money is being used. Will the Mom have to produce expenses and explanations.

Not hating on either parent, but I wonder if they would make statements about this. For example, is it about the son having access to the finer things in life, and a future, or perhaps simply more money. How much money would even the scales? Say $50,000, $75,000, $100,000 per month? I am also curious about the child support laws, which can vary from state to state. I guess my fascination goes beyoun those two. For the child's sake, I hope all support issues are resolved.

Fancy Alarms

This is one of those days when you set your smart (digital) alarm and go to bed. I have also resolved from checking my clock at the first crack of light. After all, I DID set the alarm. Here's what I did that was wrong: I forgot to adjust the frequency of the alarm. It was neither set to "one time only'" or "week-ends." As a result it would only go off during the weekdays. Needless to say, as I decided to open my eyes anyways, because it was felling like I was sleeping too long. I saw that it was far later than planned. Rushed to freshen up, put in my contacts, get dressed, and on the road.

The Writing Fool Returns

A while back I wrote scripts for various different stories/projects. Why don't I reclaim them and work them to their conclusion? I pose this question, as I am having images of each series in my head, asking myself "what happens next?" I am going to write them out, of course. yeah, I'm looking forward to me making time for my fiction.

Gotta Stop (Loafing About)

I'm taking this class on contemporary art (700 lvl), and for the first few classes its been interesting. At the very least I have a clear impression of why the art changed from the traditional mediums to something more experimental, and confrontational. I have more reading to do, and other tasks.

I have been working on a cast list for a sequel, and writing down info for some new projects. Its been slow, and I want to devote more time to writing, and I know I can get it done. I do have more errands to run, but I'm going to have to place things in a certain order, or else I will be in trouble.

Steak Dinner

I sure would love a steak dinner. Steaks marinated overnight, cooked, well done (that's right) with sauteed veggies, with wild rice, and mixed veggies or a loaded baked potato and some baked garlic bread with extra Swiss, cheddar, and mozzarella on top. Dare I dream of such delicious a meal prepared with TLC by the chef? Dare I? 'Cause we can do this, dammit. We can do this!

What If...

My creativity was all about the art, no pretense of anything? No attempts to cater to anyone by the work itself. What if I surrendered to my muse, and did not shy away from what I have done? What if it was horrible or stark along with the beauty. I guess I have to have faith and find out. Right now I just want to do my thing and be happy.

My Needs

I am so feeling the need to write some things out, other than my blog. been putting it off for a while, and sorting through the schedule upsets and changes (which are still changing). I so want a few days of REST. Been having ideas, and I need to see them to in print. Hello pen, please meet paper. Somewhere in this mix I have to get my reading assignments done.

Whoah

Ok, I got real busy today. Woke up for classes. I can only say I should have gotten some coffee on the way up. OMG I was early, found parking, had some OJ, and ate my breakfast in my car. Stopped by the bookstore to grab two books for class (although online it said only one book was needed, and they were way too pricey for used books.

Went home, and realized I had an hour of rest. Set my alarm, and decided to close my eyes thinking I was not going to fall asleep. I fell asleep. I was awakened by the phone, and spoke with my Mom. I got my power nap. LOL It was so good. I still want coffee, and may go get me a lattee. Why? Because I want one, dammit!

40 oz. Smoothie, Sandbags, & Cell Phones

The ambitious fool in me decided that a 40 oz. smoothie was worth tackling. What the heck was I thinking? I have been running to the bathroom so many times within the last few hours, I thought I might have to wear Depends. The sad thing is that I could easily do that again (drink the whole thing, that is, not the adult diapers). No, I don't learn so easily. lol

Found a restaurant in Savannah that actually de-veins their shrimp. OMG I can now eat shrimp again from a restaurant. I can order shrimp fried rice once more. I'm gonna do my happy dance, cause I can't eat the shrimp with the "sand bag" still in them. YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! That grit between your teeth. I disgust myself with the thoughts.

Thought about getting a new phone, but I'm holding off. Y'all know how it is if you switch phones in the middle of your bill cycle. All I need is freaking prorated charges. Oh, they make the newer ones look so sleek and sexy. Also, I know my carrier will want me to upgrade my price plan, and therefore extend my contract.

Busy Again

Yesterday I found myself getting up very early to take care of some errands, which was shorter than expected, but productive nonetheless. I did have time to come home, take that cat nap, and feel good about the rest of the day. Ordered dinner (Chinese), because I didn't want to cook. I didn't even make the breakfast I wanted (pancakes). Blame it on enjoying the moment. I do know i don't have to cook today.

Doing laundry today. Hopefully I won't have to spend any more quarters today. I had two loads of clothes. In spite of getting more quarters, I suspect I will need more for the upcoming meter feeding I will be doing for classes. :-( Work should be fine. I only need to feed the meter for an hour, but its always a costly hours. Two hour meters are the worse.

Running Game

You ever been in a situation where you know someone's trying to deceive you, but you don't have proof? Yet, in your heart and mind, you know that person(s) is trying to run a game? Knowing the person can look you in the eye and pretend to care about your day. Imagine if your suspicions were validated. That can feel like Christmas. No, I am not imagining things, someone is going around with the foolishness. Even better is when you feel so good you don't have to call the person on their bullshit. You know how small and petty they were being, and its time to move on. Makes a weekend sweet, no? Mine sure is.

Storming Cats & Dogs

Yesterday, while at work, it stormed cats and dogs. The wind was on the furious side and could force rain under one's umbrella. Needless to say I was like I hope it calms down because there is no way I'm driving in those conditions. Of course it did, and on my way home there are always road diva who have to speed in wet conditions. I had to be extra defensive in driving. I know I can't stop on a dime, and I loath a dumb ass who drives so quick to cut in front or weave through traffic. I'm trying to get home, not get mangled over some moron's lack of control.

Overthinking

Sometimes I overthink things. No need to elaborate. I need to do more. I have writing ideas.

*grabs pen and paper to write things out*

A Writing Theory...

I am simply wondering if I could make comic book stories based on fine art. That is to say the subject and emotive quality comes from fine art/ideals as opposed to hero/villains. Mind you, I love a good superhero title. I want to try some different things. It means working on topics outside the scope of what I am currently reading. I am so digging on the idea of fine art and sequential art merging. Let's dispense with the consequences. This is planning and theory.

My Fess Up Moment II

Well, who am I?
I am an artist with the desire to be free of all things that constrain me.

What do I like?
I like being creative, and daring. Don't need nobody to tell me what to do or how to feel.

What do I want to do?
I want to paint some pictures and scenes. Try new things, and forget the nonsense.

I am rebelling, aren't I?
It's never too late. I ain't made for nothing.

My Fess Up Moment I

I thought I would never post this. I'm rather embarrassed, and consider myself to be very vulnerable about this topic, but I think it's worth it. Please bear with me. If anything, I hope to purge the negativity from my mind, body, & soul.

Today I was talking with one of my students, and showed her the scant amount of art on my blog. She's a painting MFA major. I am contemporary writing. I wanted to get into painting, but was rejected, along with 6 or 7 other colleges. I was not made for the academic painting MFA program, or they were not progressive enough for me. Either way that crushed my spirit. I really took that to heart.

I showed my student some of the graphic design work I did. She said to me, "you don't have to work at the library, you can get a better job." She's right. If I believe I am a great writer & an artist, why not a web designer? Why don't I see myself for who I am?

Only a few people know this, but as a child, while in school, I was told constantly I was "stupid," and "not worth anything." Coupled with being 100% uncool, I really became who teachers and peers said I was. I felt stupid, in spite of reading literature, mythology, and comics as a child. It goes on, but I prefer not to dredge it all up. Needless to say, preteen, and teen years were AWFUL.

Somewhere inside my heart I still feel unworthy in spite of knowing and living contrary to what they said. I have to find a way to get over all the BS people put on me, because I know I'm not that person, and they were wrong.

How much change can I make for myself. I really need to see myself as I really am, and not hold onto the bad perceptions.

If It Smells Like Horse Pee Outside...

Yesterday went outside, and I was like, damn it smells like horses peed all over the streets. OK I love downtown, and the historic district, but you have to be careful where you step. Horse carriages are all over the place. No sooner that when I got to my ride, I kept hearing a splash, and mind you it didn't rain, and there was no random hose in the middle of the road spraying water. Looked around, and saw cars running through this puddle of water, but that ain't water. Right in the crosswalk too. Ugh! Ugh!

OMG I just felt sick. I purged it outta my head by time I got home. Darn hot, muggy summer day and horses. :-(

Mary J Blige- Be Without You

What I Want From My Art Part 2

God did not make any of us for nothing. Proactive lives are what we should aspire to. Sitting back and waiting for change is no longer a luxury I wish to indulge in.

What I want from my art is the chance to explore. Find the quality in readings and images that I have often sought from other artists & writers. I am all about working harder to be the writer/artist I wanted to be. Not for others, but to express myself. I know that there is strength and power in us all, and its not wrong to demand quality out of our lives, and in the products we consume. We are more than the future. We are the trailblazers.

I encourage all of my friends to aspire to a proactive life because life is truly too short to waste on the foolishness. We are strong, beautiful people, and if we don't work on ourselves, who is? We deserve the finer things in life. We can't fail if we keep up the hard work. I know I will be sacrificing much, but I know that if I don't do the hard work, I will never go anywhere in life.

What I Want From My Art Part 1

I was thinking about my projects, and how unfocused I have been. Granted, there are various outside elements grating on my nerves, stressing me, and I haven't been feeling well, but I have never stopped creating. My crafts have gotten minimum attention, and that, to me is wrong. It doesn't help that I have trouble focusing often. Being grounded (focused) is hard work, and I always come back to what I love. I would like to be more in my element. I have power here. I have satisfaction that is deeper than my job (forgive me work studies I love y'all, but my art is at the top of my list).

Initially, my foolish mind told me that I was too indecisive, and that I can't pick one project to give attention to proper. I was so wrong. Someone once advised me to be proactive in my work. That is stop waiting for change, go out and get the project done. It doesn't matter if I make a list or not. What I need to do what I get to work. Prioritize my actions, and make them work.

Taking stock, I am about to jump into my MFA program, and I'm feeling doubtful. Doubtful of my skills as an artist and a writer. What happened to me? OMG I let myself go without a fight. Let go like a whisper in an empty theater. That's my fault, and I am learning from my wrongs, as well as my goods.

It's like I didn't put my MFA portfolio together (29 pages of written samples, when I only needed 20, thank you very much). Well, who wrote it? I did? Who showed their ambition to secure the goal. I did. I can't keep doubting my gifts. One day I may find them gone, wishing I had used them when I had them. I am more than capable of doing it all.

TUNGRY

I am so tired and hungry, thus I have created a new word, "tungry," to describe my situation. Working early is nice, but my internal clock is so off, and I have my projects, which are being sidelined as my body and mind have yet to compensate proper. Its chaos on my nerves. Coffee ain't doing a darn thing for me. I need to quit playing and hit Starbucks up for a latte. I do. This coffee is like sissy weight in the stimulates category. ;-)

I have learned that I can be extra pleasant in the morning. I answer calls so kindly, not that I haven't before, but early morning tends to bring out some things in me I like. The customer service training I once had, has made me automatically greet people with empathy and care. What the heck happened to my grouch morning personality? LOL It took a hike.

Need to line up my projects proper. Type them out, write them down, but they need to be organized.

EDIT: I took Clariton this morning because my eyes were burning ,as were my nostrils. This may have made me more sluggish, as it always does when I reintroduce it to my system. My eyes were on fire this morning. So much on fire that I was afraid to put my contacts in, as the tough of the lenses irritated my pupils. I hate my allergies and their lack of timing.

I was ready to call in today, because without the contacts, I have no true visibility. Can't drive in that condition. Fortunately all is well, and the Clariton is doing its job, and making me tired in the process.

Busy Litttle Bee

I am doing some research for a series of drawings I'm working on. Yes, I know, I'm insane for starting yet another devote time to project, but it makes me feel good, as opposed to that blank, do nothing feeling life can bring on. This includes writing more stuff. Yes it does. I need to write more. I feel it in my bones, and I have to put pen to paper.

OD'ing on Mary J. Blige. Initially I "lost" my My Life CD and Share My World when I moved. I broke down and bought them again. So now I am all on those CD's like a cheap suit. Something about Mary's voice and personality that has evolved into a mature, beautiful woman. I feel compelled to listen to her music.

I Must Be Feeling Good...

...I felt the strong need to blog. Did much handwriting out ideas for stories. This reminds me to email a good friend. I have been feeling blue with work stress, but I am so over that. I prayed for God to give me the strength to get rid of the negative thoughts. I have to thank J for listening to me vent about that mess. LOL The drama has left me. Prayer and good friends rule. I'm gonna run off and do my emails, and write out some more ideas because I so need them written as opposed to sulking and wishing I did them. I may even cook today.

Thanks God. Thanks J.

This Week In My Life...

...Has been trying. OMG where do I start? What do I give away, or keep inside. I am purging my mind body and soul from the dramas of working, personalities, and crazed-out neighbors. This weekend was made for me trying to chill. Otherwise I will retain the drama, and explode. That's not going to happen. Yes, I'm vague, because I can't put it all out there. I also don't want to put this shit in other people's heads either. Foolishness.

A Dose of Craziness

Yesterday I wanted some chicken, and decided to hit up the fast food place. Spicy chicken of course. Y'all know I like a little heat, and mild can be very wimpy. LOL Here's what happened. I drove through the drive through, and noticed the front side of the store had rain damage. Here's the worst part. They were propping that side with some planks. Planks! I was like what if it falls onto an oncoming vehicle or patron? I would have taken a picture, but i feel like It was too embarasing to post.

Where Was I...

It was one of those days. I managed to get the paperwork I needed completed (than goodness).
Trying to make some files in Excel. I'm so not good with that. You just know it. There was a power outage. That's twice in six days. Not my idea of a good time. I want to eat something, then fill out some more paperwork (more importantly), put it in the mail. How else am I gonna get it to the right people.

Tired

Woke up extra early. LOL I loathe that. Should have ironed my clothes the night before. Felt so lazy though out the day. Did lotsa work. had work added to the menu (will sort that mess out tomorrow). The fur is flying in a bad way. Had a Whopper and some nasty onion rings for dinner. I'm going to lay down until its time to go to bed. Lets hope a good movie is on or its Batman Begins on DVD tonight.

Today Is...

A little dry. Fell asleep watching the Tim Burton batman movie. I liked it, but I wasn't so into it. it did bring back memories. I was in high school when that came out. Spent last night looking at CSI: Miami. Hadn't seen that episode before (love my "In Demand" features). All I can say is that in crimes, a lot of it seems like your friend is setting you up for the fall. Damn. No love for your buds in crime fiction.

In two weeks I'll be back in class. I am nervous and excited. ohhh this is going to be an event. I hope I enjoy it. Art History is a class I don't care too much for, but is necessary.

National Punch An Emo Day :(

Funny

Fun With Power Outtages

The power went out on me last night. A large section of the south side had no power. News says it was a "spark and heat" that caused the outage. Why is it that when the power goes out, it feels like the sun does this massive retreat posthaste? It got dark so fast I thought Savannah Electric controlled the sun as well. Damn, I was getting it for a low cost too. Now I know what people are talking about when they say their bill is sky high. ;-)

I was safe in my place. I had candles, & flashlights. Got me a cold drink before the ice became water. Well, no internet, no television, no anything. I do need to buy a small, battery operated radio. Something for emergencies. I did manage to handwrite some paragraphs out for my short story. Yes I did. I promised myself to keep working it until I get an ending. No more "go backs."I was lazy and neglected to charge my phone. Luckily I have a car charger for such emergencies. :-) Should have charged the ipod because it was so darn quiet. My Nintendo DS had a charge, so I played Mario Kart & Meteos to pass the time. Of course, my hands are too big for the controller, and they get cramped. :-(

Uh-Oh, my other neighbors are having one of those "love to hate you" spats. He's so loud, its embarrassing. Does he really have to tell her to get The f**k out in the pouring rain?

Of course power is on now. :-) Yaaaay. My food in the fridge will not get spoiled. I feel exhausted. I wanted to clean my place. There is always tomorrow. That is what I said about charging my iPod, y'know. Life lesson?

Exausted

I went to work, and did my thing. Last day of the quarter, and its been on the rough side! People rushed in to return their books, and it was overwhelming. Worked solo for the night, which was rather ugly because I don't multi-task three floors so well solo. On top of that, some of the people didn't want to leave.