Goals 2010

Well I'm looking at my goals to see where I am these days with them.  I have plenty written down and I have some things I'm simply accessing their status to see how far I've come.  Well Graduate school reaches it peach with less than four months left of it.  Am I nervous.  Oh, Yeah I am.  Can't seem to get my mind clear and complete a thing.  

I feel rushed, emotional, and annoyed.  I don't see the finish line, BUT I do see the mess that is my life.   Work seems to turn chaotic and classes seem out of grasp.  I'm praying for peach in my head, and that it extends to my physical world.  

The Wolfman - Official Trailer [HD]

I've been awake since 5:00 AM yesterday and have yet to go back to sleep. Being ill robbed me of pleasurable sleep. I hope I get rest tonight.

Its so frackin cold again. Never mind being sick. Outside's simply not a place to be.

Food poisoning. Lovely.

Bye-Bye Comics?

A funny thing happened last year while finishing my finals.  I decided I could hold off on buying comics.   I could always do it the week after, right?  Well the next week came, and nothing.  The next payday came, and no desire to go to the local comic books shop and pick up some comics.   Even during my near two months break from classes did not inspire me to buy books.   I began to think, it wasn't worth it at all.

I'm a little embarrassed, cause I used to buy them all the time.  Even when my money was tight I bought a subscription to one comic.  Always read them.   This time around, I backed off the entire medium.

You see, it occurred to me, that sometimes the things I read did not inspire me.  I wasn't having fun.  In fact I was outright bored.   What's the point of paying for something and not feeling the material?   So until I get that feeling or curiosity, one can forget me purchasing something. 

So for now, bye-bye comics.

Mistake

Mistake

A mistake has happened
I keep it around to punish myself
But I ought to let it go

If truly I was in prison,
Then the pay for the crime is life
I see no escape in sight
Do I want one?  

I hold the lock and the key
I made the prison
Brick by brick
Lovingly designed

So foolish of me to commit to a crime
That has long faded from the world view
I made several mistakes.  
For sure I should let them go.

Wanted to get a haircut then a meal. It got complicated as the barber shop was closed and didn't reopen at the said time. Waiting a few more moments for it.

Its warmer than yesterday. I hate the freezing cold for sure. Glad to have a reprieve from it.

Keep Writitng

I encourage all my writing friends to not stop writing, where the story is good or bad.  I wish for all of you to keep writing!   If you're procrastinating,  then I hope you find the courage to do what must be done to get the story complete.  sometimes, I say only five sentences are needed today, and that gets the ball rolling.   Five sentences is not that hard to put onto the paper.   Write with me.       

Get The Ball Rolling

Not sure where the phrase comes from.   I do know it means that I should initiate my actions/desires.  That's what I am here to talk about.  I said I wanted to be a writer.  I said I like fiction and nonfiction.  I ask myself what am I doing to get the ball rolling on this topic. 

Writing produces anxiety and fear in me, as well as excitement.   Mind you, I love writing.  I love connecting the words, and I love revising.  I am scared of both success and failure.  Writing is a career that you will get your heart broken several times, and it will never stop. 

To write means to give up being timid, or afraid of what may become of one's craft.   I procrastinate, I work on other projects.  I refuse to write sometimes, except when my back is to the wall and I am forced.   That is not being proactive, squandering time and talents. 

Here's what I know:  I've been wanting to write since I was three and my brother came home and showed me what writing is.  I've stumbled a lot, but i kept on writing.  I've been rejected so many times, and I never stopped writing.  

If I'm going to write, I'm going to have to accept my own fears, weaknesses and strengths.  I've got to be willing to be naked in front of a crowd of people and be revealed.  I cannot allow myself to be intimidated by others' judgments of me.   I cannot be afraid of my own will and voice. 

If I am to succeed at anything, I must accept that I am not perfect.  I must accept that I will be judged unfairly, many times over.  I must accept that I am scared, but that I can overcome fear.  I can exceed the limitations I think I've placed on myself.   I will not be held down or back from my dreams.

Too long have I feared my inability to withstand rejection and judgments, but that's over with.  If I seem raunchy, crude, excessive, obnoxious, demented, brazen, wild, insensitive, etc.  It is time to face those judgements, and see if they hold true, can I improve, or shall I wallow in self-pity.

I am Stacy R. Haynes, and I'm a writer, who's no longer afraid of getting the ball rolling!  

Pasta and Billy Wilder Today

While reading some articles on Billy wilder (which reminds me to check out some books on Wilder too), I decided that I should make some spaghetti for dinner.   It was a very simple meal to prepare.  I browned the ground chuck, sauteed the mushrooms, garlic, and onions.  Added the sauce. Seasoned with salt, pepper, a little sugar (to cut the acidic taste) and Italian seasonings.   Made the pasta and now it's done.  

I left out the Italian sausage, or any additional goodies (should have got some garlic bread).  Have some garden salad already made to go alongside the spaghetti.   Now back to reading.         

I had a lot of nervous energy today. I was more than incapable of composing my thoughts. In spite of trying I felt I was trying a lost cause.

Not as cold as yesterday. There is a rumor of snow and ice, which would suck so bad. Hope that it doesn't come true.

The first post of the new year! Man its too cold for my comfort. I like warmer weather and prefer to stay inside! Maybe it will warm up inside and make my day!