Let The Sunshine In?

I wanted to open my curtians, but I got some nosy ass neighbors whom I greatly suspect of trying to get a peek inside my home. This would be the second attempt. The first time, when I went to get my mail, and returned, I saw them trying to look through the patio window. I keep my shades closed. I want to let some sunlight in, but I can't trust people like that. Alas, my shades stay closed.

2006 What A Year It's Been

2006 marked some major changes for me. I became totally independent of my family, worked on my graduate classes, and began to blog much more. Blogging has become a production, which is not bad, at all as it serves two wonderful purposes; It keeps me writing on a regular basis, and it will add to my non-fiction portfolio rather nicely. I foresee my blog becoming more coherent, with a strong focus, and a wealth of entries. It feels great to have that. 2006 has been all about changes, and 2007 will be about changes as well.

I have had some rough spots as well. My car had major issues and cost me waaay to much to repair. I have been failing at making a solid budget. Since my grocery spending has become rather inflated, it was the first thing I put an end to. I have gotten many late fees trying to balance out my payments. Its been a rough year. I keep praying to be a better man and getting a handhold on my bills. God willing 2007 will be that year.

2007 will also mark me writing more, but this time actively submitting more material to be published. That will be a hard road worth traveling.

I Used'ta Think...

...That to be responsible and taken seriously, you can't have a sense of humor, or enjoy the little things in life. You have to be a cog in a bigger machine that works you until you grind out. There is no rest, no enjoyment, just an eternal machine that we are a part of. There is no duty in humor. There is shame in not being a part of the machine.

How wrong I was to believe in these lies. Working is honorable, and we all must live, but to suffer all your life and feel this is all you can have is a myth. I believe in the unlimited potential in the human mind, body, and soul. I need to laugh, and I need to smile on a regular basis. I need to feel silly most of the time. Just what if the silliness was a gift? What if I was supposed to make people smile and feel good about themselves? What if other’s people’s happiness made me feel good inside, and opened me to another level of living?

This does not discount your ability to enjoy life to its fullest. What really matters is that I take charge of my life, accept all my responsibilities for the rights and the wrongs I have done, and push myself to achieve better.

I cannot settle when I know there is so much that I want to do with my life. Many good blessings have come my way and will continue to do so, but it is up to me to seize the day and make my life work. I cannot lay my burdens onto someone else. I hope to see people smiling and laughing more. In turn I hope to be smiling and laughing more. I need to do what it takes to make me feel good. This is the best beginning for a New Year.

Last In- Charleston Written Post (12/28/06)

Decided to work on some essays I may never post on the theory of my writings. I know its my blog, but I don’t want to be anywhere as near as self-indulgent as I know I can be.

The Chronicles of Narnia is on. Its not like I didn’t see it before. Tilda Swinton makes a good villain (like she did in Constantine). Disney is threatening to lock this movie in their vault (like they do with all their movies). I guess if I want a copy I better go buy one. Yeah, right. No money for it. LOL. And I complained about my own self-indulgence… Maybe in ten years there will be extended scenes to watch. Who knows, but if I ever Jones for this video I will find out.

Tried the dial up for the first time today. Let me tell you, it was so slow, that after getting it running I decided NOT to sit and indulge in running that darn thing. Keep in mind after telling my bro that trap in his room doesn’t work, and then plugging my laptop in (I also have an ISP), it may have irked him.

This reminds me of when I tried to do my homework in the living room. LOL Those were the days.

I dream of a sofa in my living room. God willing, a good sofa will be mine.

New Playlist (12/28/06)

Completed a new play list for my ride home. Here are the songs:

1. Blow My Whistle-Utada Hikaru (feat. Foxy Brown)
2. Check On It by Beyoncé (feat Slim Thug)
3. Paper Bag by Fiona Apple
4. Pleasure Principal by Janet Jackson
5. Revelation Sunshine by Cree Summer
6. Cool by Gwen Stefani
7. More Than You Know by Martika
8. Weary by Amel Larrieux
9. It’s Gonna Rain by Kelly Price
10. Fire and Rain by Sheena Easton
11. Rock Me, Roll Me by Toni Braxton
12. Wonder About by Utada Hikaru
13. Hold Me by Sheila E.
14. Irreplaceable by Beyoncé
15. Not The Only One by Amerie
16. Say Something by Mariah Carey
17. Nasty Girls by Inya Day
18. Undress by Vanity

*Nasty Girls is a club style remake of the Vanity Six song.

NOTE: All my play lists have at least one Prince penned, performed, or protégée on there. There are seven on this list. Cool points to the person who can name them all. ☺

I Love My Full Day (12/28/06)

I am so tired. My Brother and Mom took me out to breakfast this morning. It hurts to be up so early. The vampire in me loathes getting up early. Its been a long while since I had a sit down breakfast. I felt great. Then Mom did some last minute shopping. Typical Mom thing is to check over everything. I am the opposite of her. Go into the store, get what you want, pay for it, and leave. LOL

Did some errands again. I have to say Dad came through at the last moment. Surprise surprise. I am at least at peace for the moment.

I fell asleep while watching “Diamonds are Forever.” It’s been a full day indeed. I love a good nap. My brother awakened me from my slumber. He was hungry. I bought some food and told him to help himself. I stayed awake to type out this blog entry. He ate and went to sleep.

I return home tomorrow. I will sleep in my bed, watch my movies, and enjoy the silence.

ASIDE: I think I broke through my comfort zone for a while. I dared stretch out my days, and enjoy myself. I have my own home now, and I pay my bills elsewhere. It’s where I hang my hat, live sleep and create. For a short while I was out of my element, and I loved being with my family. I confess I will miss my family upon returning home. It’s time for phase two of the vacation: Me time before I get back to work.

Watching Karas: The Prophecy (anime). It’s very dark, sleek, and a good watch. My anime appreciation was placed on hold for a short while, but I have been seeing some good ones on television.

Darn it Dad… (12/27/06)

Let’s just say no good, attempt at loving gestures will ever go unpunished. The man is trying to tax all of my patience. Parental love can be a myth and mystery.

Special thanks to my friends Beatty, Mieka and Jackie, who gave me encouraging words when I needed them. I love you guys for that. Support is good. Your support is worth its weight in diamonds. The big chunky blinging diamonds. ☺

One Track Mind (12/27/06)

Several days before I arrived in Charleston, I got a call from my older brother about how to make this computer he got work. Well, he wouldn’t define what he wanted to use the computer for. All I knew was that it was an older computer with a bad modem. He spoke to our younger brother who told him the computer was cheep and not effective for today’s standards. He didn’t listen to him, and began to work on the damn thing.

My bro is obsessed with making this computer internet savvy. Its an OLD computer. I checked it out for him. It has 1 GB of memory and half of that is already used up. The processing speed is ugly slow, like molasses moving uphill slow. Even if it could get on the ‘net, I would think its not going to do anything, but crash.

He spent half of last night trying to make that thing work, and all of today tying up the phone line trying to make it work. It’s 6:33 PM and he’s still on that thing. I’m like, be practical you bought that HD for $40.00. What do think its going to do. I even told him it was the equivalent of buying a car for $40.00. I’m not going to be the one to tell him about virus and spyware.

Why? Because he stopped listening to me a few days ago. You should see him trying to find an old phone chord to reach his room. He checked every drawer, the closets, the utility room, and the garage. Now he says the keyboard doesn’t work.

BTW found out he wants to make MP3’s with the ‘puter and store them on the HD. I told him 1 GB cannot hold more than a few songs along with the other software it has. Can I go bang my head into a wall now?

Let me add that while I will not see eye to eye with my brother in this, I do love him, and hope he can move beyond this. If he doesn’t I fear the universe will collapse upon itself.

Coming Home Again (12/27/06)

I’ve fallen in love with the song, “Trouble Sleeping” by Corinne Bailey Rae. She’s got a rich, mellow vibe. “Like A Star” is enchanting as well.

Told my Mom I will be leaving on Friday, and spend of the rest of my vacation days mellowing out at my place. I want to stay in Charleston a little longer, but I need some of my vacation time to mellow out and relax in my own bed, drinking tea, and working uninterrupted on my writing. Because I can’t go back to work feeling like I just walked out of Charleston, unsettled in my castle. Something about recharging my energies and synching into my own world feels right.

I am going to miss Mom, and my siblings. Its good to be around my family, even if it’s for a few days to feel their love and support. Things have changed, Charleston, that is. It has a certain amount of power, a renewing of my support system, and made me a better man. I feel the love, I feel the love. Thank God I feel the love of my people. I needed them in so many ways. It gives me a strength I can take back home with me. You can’t buy that kind of power.

Now I have changed, and for the better. Do you believe in miracles? When the spirit and body agree, I believe there will be doors of opportunity that are open to us all.

Still thinking of changing the name of my blog. I am being sentimental about “Yeah I Write This Blog,” so the change won’t happen overnight.

The family visit is a mixed bag of goodies. It is ALWAYS good to see Mom. She is a hard worker. My brothers are great to see, as it can be rather dull just talking on the phone, texting or emailing. My dad, well, he veers off somewhere that makes me wonder how to resolve anything with him. I can be very civil, but sometimes civility if a formality, like a duty, and not done out of love. Maybe it is love. Maybe that’s all I get from him.

Such bitter and sweet fruits that falls from the family tree.

Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star

There are two verisons of this video, but this is the version that made me pay attention to the song on VH1 Soul. Good music.

Post Christmast Posting (12/26/06)

Called my dad and we had a long talk. I’ll visit him tomorrow and we’ll talk in person. I am happy to have a pleasant exchange.

I miss my internet. OMG I haven’t posted in days. LOL How will I go on? ***Somebody cue the violins please…***

Visited grandmother in the hospital today. She’s doing fine. She’s getting better so it was good to see that progress is going well. My cousin showed up with her kids. I hadn’t seen them in like twelve years. The last time I saw the little ones, one was a baby, and the other was in the womb. They are so shy now. Kids. They only serve to remind me that I am not the young one anymore. I don’t miss it, but its cool to remember who I was without any negative vibes. I can’t always look back with fond memories, but I can now, and celebrate this.

More Random Thoughts (12/26/06)

I’m writing down a lot of thoughts, and I don’t have a clue as to where they are coming from or the logic I am going under. I am having ideas for changing my blog’s name or making a new blog from the ground up. I have all these changes unraveling in my noggin, and I don’t know where I’m heading. Color me living in the moment. It’ll pass, but I like the idea of changing the name.

My Exodus (12/26/06)

…From blogging.? I have thinking of my exodus from blogging. Would it be so bad for 2007 to let my blog go? I have yet to weight the pros and cons, but I have thinking of placing dedicated efforts into getting published as a full-time fiction and non-fiction writer. It would require me to break away from what I have bee doing in the past. My blog is one of them.

In 2003, I started this blog as an extension of my handwritten journal. There were times when I let my blog cool off for months. A friend asked when I was going to update it. I restarted it. I began to taper off again, and then I decided that if I wrote five sentences per post I would gear myself to writing more. Well I have done that, and I have done over 400 posts in the year 2006. Where can I take my blogging after that?

I feel, sometimes with my posts, I have been going in circles, and that has been disappointing to me. I suppose I should find out really why I like to blog. It may be more pro than con. I do have a dedicated blog. I invite any readers out there to leave a comment/suggestion.

Family Affairs (12/25/06)

The family is doing fine. Both siblings are ok. They made me smile. My niece might be here so I am looking forward top seeing her. It’s nice to spend time with people who care, as opposed to people you work with. No offence to anyone I work with, but we only know each other during our respective shits. Most of the people are great to speak, and converse with. I have to be honest about that status.

I have to go speak with my Dad, who is being a little too cagy with me. He’s a tricky one. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t want to regret reaching out to him, but he’s making it hard on me.

Grandma’s been making some progress. She, however, doesn’t want to eat or walk much. This is bothering me, as she KNOWS she has to get active to be better. Should she be unable to help herself, she could be facing having to stay in a nursing home. I’m not pleased with that, but grandmother tends to be tricky herself, as she is doing better, but wants people to stay with her full-time.

Writing the Wrongs Out (12/25/06)

Did some editing of my script today. I needed to find all the misspellings I overlooked before. I also needed to step away from it long enough to give myself some perspective. There are a few changes I want to do.

Trying to get the proposal competed as well. So many ideas to work on. I more than likely need to print it out and hand edit the work with a red pen.

I have some other ideas, and the sequel begs to be completed. I will start the sequel in the New Year, AFTER all the kinks are kicked

Travel Safety and My Foolishness (12/25/06)

NOTE: I wrote several of my entries in Word, as I was not online for the past few days, and decided to post them when I returned home. I missed blogging. Good to be away and return to it as well.

OK, I did something really stupid on my way to Charleston. I did not check the air in my tires. Well, the simple guy in me says why check them, they’re fine. So there I was an hour into my trip, when the thought burdened me that I didn’t check my tires. Then I saw strips of various tires in the road, and skid marks from other cars. I was like; do I know where I am, and if I had signal strength to call someone if my tire blows?

Well, I decided to pull over to the next gas station I saw, and I filled the tires with air. Well I needed that piece of mind, and two of my tires needed air. Not like they were flat or flabby, but it was visible that they needed air when I filled them. I could take my mind off of shredded tires and being “lost” on my way home. Yes, that was a stupid move on my part. I am thankful there was a solution to my foolishness.

Yes, God looks after his rather foolish child.

The Clean Up

Trying to clean up, and remain focused. Had coffee for breakfast. I will attempt to make brunch to satify my hunger. Still have to vacum and claen out the fridge. Played "catch up" with a few people. Need to catch up with one person, who refuses to do right, and I don't know what that's about, but I I am hoping this situation is meneded before the holiday festivities begin.

Fiction writing has been a little hectic. I've been wanted a few days to myself to write. Could not do that until now. of course, with the holidays upon me, I will be seeing more people. I will have to sneak my writing in. lets hope my peeps are forgiving of my possible reclusive tendencies. I should get a small notepad to jot down notes.

All That Constrains Us

All That Constrains Us
By Stacy R. Haynes

It wakes you in the morning.
It does not slither on the ground.
Nor creaks on an uneven cold floor to give it away.
You cannot taste it, nor can you touch it.
It invades you with each breath you take.

Can you feel it in your lungs?
It goes down like second hand smoke,
Burning your insides,
Painfully choking you, the uninitiated
Left to writhe in agony.
No doctor.
No medicine man.
No good night kiss can cure what ails you.

Take my hand,
Ride out the storm with me.
See me for who I am,
Lean on me for support.
I shall lean upon you
Let go of the poison.
Let us both be stronger than who we were before.
Let Hades reclaim his breath,
And let us be free of all that constrains us.

Artist Statement

I never had one. I need to make one:

My creative portfolio is expansive. I write fiction and nonfiction. My concertration is drawing, yet I paint, make photographs, and printmaking as well. I go with the flow of my creativity.
I work on what I am focused upon at the moment. I do as I please. Sleep during the day, work during the nights. I am subject to my whims, and my emotions charge my art.

EDIT: I will be working on this statement. It doesn't encompas me I want it to. It's my perogative to change my mind.

Catwoman Again

I retook the photo of my Catwoman watercolor. What bothered me was that the hand/claw on the wall was not visible in the orginal photo. it pissed me off. Well, I retook the image. I ran the image through Photoshops filters and adjustments. So you can see the fun I have with my own images. Image one has less alterations. Only the contrat and levels were adjusted, along with a little blur added to it. The second has a water color filter to it. Water color on top of a watercolor. Cool. Well see them both, compare them in your own mind. BTW to give some props to the image, it is a copy or a swipe (sort of) of an image by Darwyn Cooke from
his drawing of Catwoman. I did it for myself.

Getting Used

Without delving into the specifics, I have been used, and it doesn't feel good. I am upset because I left myself open to be used, and that was my mistake. Instead of being pissed and sulking, I decided to take matters to the proper people, and settle this dipute proper. I want to expose the bull and put an end to it.

Where Did Thirty-Five Go?

When I asked myself. "how old am I," I paused. I didn't have a clue. I was so confused, that I started counting back the years. I was just thirty-four, working two jobs and taking classes. I stopped both classes and the jobs, and began to work for Verizon Wireless as a customer service sgent. Now I am thirty-six. That middle year of thirty-five. Who was that guy? He's different from past Stacy, and current Stacy. Was he a transition, appariation, or imagination?

Well, what the hell does it all mean? I'm entered a new phase in my life. I'm seeing myself as seperate beings or as seperate parts of my life where changes began. It feels odd, but I can tell you I'm not the person that I was. I feel transformed.

If God is willing, I'm going to make my outter world as reflective of changes as my inner world.

Gandmom's Doing Well!

Well, I spoke with Mom, and Grandmom's doing fine. She does have to take some antibiotics and will stay in the hospital for a few days. Grandmom says she's been sick all week, but didn't tell Mom, or my Aunt, whom she spoke with prior to having a trip to the hospital. Well, now she's milking her illness for attention, which in turn will cause friction. I don't think it matters to her that her daughters were asking her how she feels. She now knows she can get attention, and in effect make her daughters look like they were not concenerd about her welfare. I suggested to Mom, that when grandmom is well, have a polite chat with her about infoming people when she's feeling ill. I don't know how I feel about this situation. At one point its insulting to have someone you love milk an illness, at the same time be relived that they are recovering. Its very manipulative, and I hate being used.

Today's Plans

After I'm done with the loaf, I want to work on my writing. I have a sci-fi short story that I would love to see completed. If I can do two more typewritten pages today I would be pleased. Furthermore I started ideas for the sequal to my comic, and would like to see four typewritten pages of script for that as well. So its a somewhat busy day.

This is Yesterday!

Grandmom's ill. She had to go to the hospital. Mom stayed with her overnight. I am waiting for a call from her. She should be fine. Quite a rain on the day. A friend's house was robbed earlier this week. I am upset about this news as well. When I see her I will talk with her. She has my sympathies.

Last night made a meatloaf as I loafed about. I thought it was fully cooked, but to my surpise I saw that the meat was still red on the inside. You can imagine my dismay. Needless to say, since it was late, I have to re-cook it early this moring. So its an even slower process as I let the meat become room temp, then placed on "warm" in the oven, and I am slowly upping the temperature.

Yesterday I made a trip to Wal-Mart, looking for a gift basket, then to the mall. Parking is awful. It took me at least 20 mins to find good parking. The mall was crowded (no duh), and people dragged along and took up time and space. I hate large crowds. It becomes rather overwhelming. When it was time to go, it only took five mins to get the hell outta dodge. To treat myself I bought me some cookies. White chocolate macadamia nut cookies to be exact. Mmmmmm!

New Self-Portrait

I thought I would NEVER take another picture with my glases. I changed my mind. I think they're cool-inside my home. LOL I will not wear them in public. Honestly, I need to get another pair of glasses so when I don't feel like wearing contacts, I can wear some newer eyewear.

I did like how this picture turned out, and I ran the photo through Photoshop. I adjusted the colors then added filters.

I'm In A Silly Mood

I feel like writing something. I don't know, let's try writing about smoking. A story or song that focuses on smoking. Can I catch a nicotine fit from second hand smoke? Don't let that puff catch you sleeping! Are my lungs tarred and charred. Are they as beat as my feet after wearing my work shoes. Will it make me slimmer and therefor sexy? Am I a throwback to the days where men puffed a few and looked cool doing it?

Thundarr the Barbarian -- Introduction

The child in me still LOVES this show.

Me, Myself & My So-Called Craft

I know I’m a work in progress. I’m so much like my art because I keep trying at it. It doesn’t matter so long as I get down to business, be it drawing, photography, or writing. I do struggle a whole lot with life and resolutions. I learn and grow. I’m hard headed so some of life’s lessons have to be repeated. I want to establish control of my life and art. Maybe I need to loosen up. Let me explain.

For the longest I have complained and desired about not censoring myself. I wanted to be free of the constraints. Well, why did I place the constraints there to begin with? Be forewarned, this is an introspective post.

Well, I have always wanted to fit in with other people. I wanted them to think me special, and look at my writing as my unique talent. I’d be the cool person for once. That was the plan. It was an utter waste of time and energy. Not because I’m failing at it, but rather that I have excelled at becoming a person who is liked by several for not being me, but rather someone who is like me. He’s talented, smart, and a good guy, but he lacks the depth that I truly possess.

Writing does not make me special. It does not make me different. I am no smarter than the next person. That was a foolish vision I used to cling to like cheap undies one size too small. At one time in my life, it was important for me to be liked and to fit in, but not as who I am, but as the sly writer. Writers, I thought were special. They’re not.

If I had a dime for every life experience I had with someone where I came to the conclusion that “people put their pants on one leg at a time,” well I’d have a lot of dimes to wrap for my bank to take.

I have been establishing my independence, being my own man, living my life. I’m trying to earn my living while getting my masters degree in contemporary writing. Its not all bliss and cake. Its damn hard, and sometimes its rough, but I can’t go back and change things.

I feel like rebelling. This happened to me when I was an undergrad. I struggled in my literature and art classes. I wanted to do the work, but I could not be like everyone else. There were times when I didn’t know what my professor wanted. I got so upset I decided to do the damn paper/draw the image. If he or she didn’t like what I produced, well that’s too bad. I’m giving it my all.

I worked so hard for my BA, and I thought I was an utter failure, but I persisted. I never gave up. My professors came around and noted my individuality. I didn’t have to belong to any group. I was me, and people took it or left it. Those were great years.

Imagine my shock as my encouragement from my instructors turned to dust as I applied to graduate school in painting, and found my art portfolio did not meet the standards for which art is measured. I felt like a true failure, because in spite of some fantastic talented instructors backing me, I fell flat on my face. At that moment I wanted to belong again.

My writing lost edges, as did my desire to draw, paint, or do photography. I plagued myself with self-doubt. I fell into dead-end jobs, and felt trapped for a long time.

What I crave now is a change. Not a change in just my art, but in my life. I need to shift to focus from extraordinary expression on paper and canvas, but into life as well. I need to take myself serious. Why can’t I use my talents to become a business?

My name should be synonymous with substance, quality and style. The kind of man who exudes cool under pressure, and commands respect not for being “special”, but for taking control of his life, and working to constantly improve said life.

I wonder sometimes, would I have been grateful for what has been given to me in life if I didn’t go through all the negative things in life? Many times I have been so ungrateful for opportunities, love and support. I still have many mistakes to learn from. I am not perfect. I have got to remember that, and keep my business in check.

Things I Need To Get Over (God Willing)

1. I am very clumsy, and un co-ordinated.
2. I can be very indecisive.
3. I don't eat balanced meals.
4. Forgetting stuff all the time, like checking the stove.
5. I am not perfect.
6. Hating to be assertive (what's that about?)
7. Do I need to list more?
   

Imani Coppola: Legend of a Cowgirl

Remember this song? I love Imani's attitude, and an interestinc CD. I like artists who defy descrition. The video is funny too.

More Fine Art: Silence

I did Silence a while back. It was form my ex-roomate years ago, but he never picked it up. That was a lifetime ago. It just sat in my portfolio. Well, I love the image. When i too the picture, the color was distorted. It appeared brown in the image. Made it a momchrome image through Photoshop, and ran some filthers on it. There's a dimension of texture added upon what it already had.

Sleep Interrupted

I so miss the late night working and day sleeping. The vampire in me gone. I have lost my night powers, and the ability to appear charming and dutiful. My sleep pattern is so off, I tried to sleep at my late hours, knowing I had to be up at a certain time. Its all part of change, so I will adapt.

I remember when I used to work for a certain cell phone co, and I was getting off work at 9:00 PM. I was like what? This is new and interesting. I got to see a prime time show or two.

I think i should relax tonight. I will handwrite out some more ideas. Until I get my sleep kinks worked out i can't work ideas out proper.

Me On My Writing Goals

I want to write unapoligeticly. I want to make stories that push me further than my comfort zone. I've siad it before, but I need it to soak in. Perhaps some brazen writers are needed for me to read.

That being said, let me clarify: I want to remove my inner censor/editor, who writes "pretty." I'm trying to get to the heart of my art and set it free. its been my goal all along.

My motto still is, "I will be free of all that constrains me!"

Can You Hate the Meters?

Life is full of penalties and dismays that bring blight to a day. It is absolutely insane trying to find good and economical parking downtown. I can't maximise the potential of parking. The best meters are blocks away, and the closer ones to where I need to be, are obnoxiously expensive. I am hopping to get things done the way they need to be. I am very upset about this, as I am losing money.

Didn't do too mcuh writing yesterday. I did manage to get off some handwritten notes that I will use later. I am still trying to adjust to different times, and be productive. I did indulge in the gulity pleasure of watching some prime time shows that I normally don't get to see.

Did manage to create a new concept I am hoping to explore.

Late, Late, Late (Not To be Confused With "Latte")

Been doing my revisions. My experet intelligent Eye has read over the material and belives its very straightfoward, which I need it to be. OMG, did the synopsis of the entire six chapters. It wasn't hard, but nailing down details is a little daunting, but it is so done now. I've got to give myself some rest. I love the work, but I need to break away and take care of other things before I chill for the night.

Has anybody ever heard Mya's Song "Whatever Bitch?" OMG this song is so funny and clever!

Editing

Decided to edit my proposal. I have divided it into three parts. The first was the concept, second was the background. The last part was the series content. I will have to let it cool down for a while before I can have an opinion on it. I need to re-write the synopis part between tonight and tomorrow. I think the cast list can stand as is. All I can do is tweak that information. I've said pretty much all I can about the characters.

Revising A Proposal

Thanks to some good pointers I was able to revise my proposal for my comic book. At first, I thought I would be trapped by what I created as the first proposal, but I am proud to say that I have moved into a bolder and better direction. I am happy I was able to make a shit in thoughts. It's been a wild run, but oh, so worth the travel.

being away from the material has allowed me to think more on the titles and how the characters appear. Now I have to go and tweak some notes. I am buzzed with creativity.

Headache

I woke up today with a headache, and had one all day. Took some Advil, and it cleared up. I think it was caffeine related. I digress. Didn't do much writing. Have to call the apt manager. The new neighbor's music is so loud I hear it in my bedroom, and living room. I am beside myself, because I was willing to let it go if it were like 15 mins. What's that compared to a whole day, but all this week-end starting Friday night (1:00 AM) to today, I get these loud thumping sounds that distracted me from sleep, TV, or sitting in my LR to type or eat.

Cooking and Cleaning

As usual, the budget went a little overboard. I did get my groceries, pay some bills, and hope to relax the rest of the night. Marinated some steaks, and I have been waiting for them dammit. Sauteed some veggies I plan to divide between the steaks and the baked potatoes I have. I put a little too much chipotle pepper on the veggies. now they have a mean kick to them. Not that I am complaining, but I was going for little kick. Used garlic cloves for the first time, as opposed to garlic powder or minced garlic. The cloves have a mild smell to them. I am sure it will add another dimension to the steak and veggies.

I want to cook some field peas tomorrow in the crock pot. I need some meat to flavor the pot; something I did not buy. Well, its back to the grocery store tomorrow. I do want some pastry too. Nothing expensive, but to go with a cup of coffee in the morning. I thought of making a meat loaf, but my mind is like that's not on the clock for me tonight or tomorrow. perhaps next week-end.

Cleaned my microwave and my counter. It was worth doing. It was looking rough in there. I can't have my microwave looking like a cave. Took my time and cleaned it. It's done, but after cooking I have to clean again.

Cool Down Moment

I've been thinking about my six chapter comic. Its completed, but I decided to write a sequal to the six chapters. I also decided to revise how the proposal is, as I got some good ideas from the YABS forum. Also, now that I have had time to not think of my project, I have had some minor ideas. I am redoing/modifying the character descriptions as needed. I want it to read as clear as possible, and now have the clarity to do so. :-)

Cold, Cold, Cold

It's so darn cold today. I know I should have bought my scarf and a hat to work to wear. That wind whipped right through me as if my fleece, pants, and jacket wasnt there. it ain't warming up either. Its staying icy cold. The northerners say its not cold. I remind them that I have only lived in the southeast, and its freezing to me.

Fiona Apple

I love this song. You KNOW I had to post it when I saw it. :-)

The Makings of Holiday Cheers I

The holidays are producing mixed emotions in me. I want to embrace the holiday spirit and give, more than I usually do. At the bare minimum, I am hoping to spread some cheer. I find myself in the middle of a chaotic week of wants and needs, the demands of work and people. I have so many commitments, I feel like it all happens so fast. I am living for the week-end where I can hear myself think. Thank God I have time to rest my mind and body.

The baked chicken turned out ok last night. I let it cook a little too much, but the meat falls off the bone, and it didn’t dry out. My only regret was not having the time to marinate the meat. The seasons really are on the surface of the meat. Maybe when I get home it will taste different.

Parking was awful today, as there is a play at a nearby theater, and visitors have taken all the viable parking spaces. I hate circling. Good news is parking is free after 2:00 PM on Thursdays and Fridays during the holidays. I fear my meter is going to cheat me out of a few minutes. I went to check it. Added a couple of quarters to make sure that indicator wasn’t acting funny. All I need is another darn ticket to add to my expenses. I am so losing money from this exchange.

Was told my dad was upset that my older brother didn’t call him to wish him happy birthday. My mindset was he can just ignore my brother’s birthday next month like he usually does as with all his son’s birthdays. That’ll teach my bother to forget an important day, right? I wonder about that man sometimes. Does he even know when our birthdays are? No phone calls, no birthday cards no anything. A text message would surprise and impress me.

These are the things that compose my holiday cheers, on the surface, at least. I will cheer myself up, and maybe tomorrow I will treat myself to a latte. Maybe. Not the eggnog latte. That @#%& is NASTY! I regretted every sip of it last year. So wrong was it that I remembered NOT to try it this year.

Are You Worthy?

Here's a question I will be asking myself from now on; is a topic worthy of a blog entry? This is my blog, my adventure, and my life. What should be placed on my blog? What rules have I established for writing/posting? This is my entry, and this is my goal to resolve.

I wonder who and what situtation feels worthy of a post. Is it the late mailman, or my goofy burning of french fries? Am I a typaholic? Perhaps the person with he foot fetish, or my ever annoying adventures with my cell phone bill/carrier?

Everything is subject to my documentation.

Baked Chicken

For tomorrow I am having baked chicken, and some stringbeans. Decided to bake the chicken tonight, because if I came home and cooked tomorrow, it will be too late for me to enjoy it. Ran out of peanut butter as well. I am so mad. I have been living off the sandwiches during my break, which has been very rewarding as a meal.

I showed some of my art to some people today that's posted on my blog, and someone at work asked me if I wrote about the job. I was like there are NO company secrets posts, and I rarely mention names. I haven't infringed upon my workplace. Someone asked if I wrote about them. For those not in the know, I prefer to write about my life and my writing. No offence to anyone, but that's where the source material is. On a good not if something does happen positive at work I will share that.

I Was Soooo Tired

I was so tired yesterday after work. I felt so spent that after watching some of Transformers the Moie, that it was time for bed. I decided to play Contantine as my bedtime movie. Why did I do that? I hadn't seen that movie in over a year, and I was so curious as to what was happening. If I wasn't real tired and fell asleep, I would have watched the whole thing.

Transformers the Movie is twenty years old. My co worker was three then. I was like fifteen or sixteen. LOL I really have a time frame for myself now. Oh YUCK! Well, I never think about age, until one of my fave toons dates itself. Whell thank you freaking Transformers for aging me like at 2,000 MPH-NOT! LOL I wanted to be a Decepticon. I was such a space cadet.

I want a steak with sauteed vegatables, and a baked potato. Its past time. I've been waiting for too long.

Ayumi Hamasaki - GAME

I love this song. It's nice to put visuals to the song.

How Much Heart (& Soul)?

Today has been calm and cool, and I enjoyed it. Not too many times will that happen in the day. Even the cold didn't deter me this morning. Feeding the meter didn't upset me like it normally does. I HATE the meters, but I was like this is life. I am so on top of that today. Went to work singing and not giving a damn about any lows. Sometimes letting go of all that would bring me down is the hidden blessing that gets me through all the chaos.

I started writing down ideas for the directions I want to take my contemporary writing career towards. I have a lot of random unfocused thoughts I typed. At first this fustrated me, as I wanted an instant answer. For those who don't know my writing has never yeilded an "instant answer." I have worked and worked to resolve ideas and conflicts in my writng for years. Tonight is no different. I will have to work harder and harder, producing ideas that I may or may not like. I do know one thing for sure; the time for me to wait for things to happen is over.

I am sure I will have the answers I seek very soon. Some things cannot be denied. I will not be denied my own choices & freedoms. I need to refine my dedication and purpose for writing. I feel that success will be obtained, once I break on through my own self-imposed barriers. No one can stop me but me these days. God willing, I will have the keys to open all doors of opportunity.

French Fried

Well, I made some french fries, because I didn't want to eat spaghetti again tonight. Not that it was bad, in fact the spaghetti is great. I wanted to change up a little. French fries would have made my day. All I can say is I took my mind off the damn pot for a few a moments, and then it happened; I went back to the stove, and my fries were blackened!

Awww damn! Well, I decided to heat up some spaghetti in the microwave and call it a dinner.

More Fine Art: Amenhotep

I did this pastel drawing a while ago, and when I saw it for the first time in a long while, I was loving it. I like the wide space and the image on one side of the paper. It has an spiritual quality I was not actively aware of when I did this drawing. I'm rather taken by the image, and the effect it has on me. That's never happened to me before, concerning my own art. It is one of my simpler, yet favorite pieces.

The photograph of this image came out so bright when I took it, that I went into Photoshop to reduce the amount of brightness.
I tried some of the filters on them, and some looked great, but I opted not to present the filtered images yet.

A BIT OF TRIVIA: The image I based my drawing from is from a statue of Pharaoh Akhenaten (Amenhotep). He was the husband of Nefertiti. They were the 18th dynasty rulers in Egypt (14th century).

Loaf About Day

Today is loaf about day. That's what I am doing. I don't care about anything heavy today. I just want to relax and enjoy the time I have. I should have bought a pie for some desert, but I didn't so I will make do with what I have. I need some music to soothe me.

Utada Hikaru - Keep Tryin'

Another J-Pop artist, Utada Hikaru. The song is Keep Tryin.

Back To Work

So my holiday is over, and its not so bad. I did have to get up early, which I loathe, but I made it through. For lunch I am having peanut butter sandwhiches and hot tea. It looks like its gonna rain and I hate when it does. Made a good pat of spagetti last night. I should have used hot sausage. The mild is tepid. It tastes great though.

It's raining, HARD. Its ugly. I wanted to stop by the grocery store tonight. I need some extra ingriedents for the baked chicken I planned to make. Hopefully the rain will stop before I leave work. Otherwise I'm making a b-line for home.