Today

Today is about a haircut. I'm happy to get out out of bed and get things done today. I'm gonna be writing something later on today. Revisions are both a challenge and a joy.

Been neglecting this blog a lot so I'm happy to get a moment to write a few lines now. I'm tempted to go back to bed when I get home, but that ain't happening.

Intimidation Factors

Working on revising a short story, and nothing gets to me like the anxiety of re-approaching written material.  So I'm looking at a hand edited piece of work with fear and nervousness.  Needless to say the fear is unwarranted, and I know I'm going to tackle the material regardless. Still there was this moment where I looked at the story and felt afraid to touch it.

No this story ain't too precious to revise.  I just found myself having a fear that should go away soon, because one of my goals is to get this story published. Also have a second  story to get to the writing group for critique and get that feedback. Sometimes this is just a phase and phobia that dissipates into the ether.  If I have to have a stare down with the material I will.

I wanna look back and laugh at myself for this moment. It shall pass. It's telling me to go preoccupy my mind with other things till I get myself off the anxiety.  A little gaming perhaps.  A trip to the D laugh at myself for this?

Getting Up and Doing Things

Didn't really want to get up today, but I needed to do some laundry.  I feel like I needed to get this done and then I can relax a bit.  Doing laundry early means I don't have to deal with it at the last moment and possibly throwing myself all over the place to get crap done.  Didn't even wait for the alarm to go off this morning. Damn. Then again I was in bed my midnight. How I hate beating myself to the punch.  Who you supposed to hating on?

Hating on oneself seems a bit futile. It's not like you can punch yourself in the face. Well you could, but that's stupid. Could you press charges against yourself?  I bet that'd be something. Take that to trial.  You'd have to simultaneously defend and prosecute yourself. Ah duality. It keeps the world in conflict, and the people with rage against themselves. Sorta like Darth Vader, but zero force powers, lightsaber, or Deathstar.  If you can't have the cool stuff that comes  with being Vader, why bother with the hate? Let go of your anger.      

My lesson for this early morning. Nothing beats freshly washed and dried pairs of undies. Make them so fresh, you have to slap them before you put them on for being so damn cheeky. Also smiling helps me out a whole lot.  Not forced smiles. Being able to laugh and help others laugh makes me feel good.  Much love and blessings to all, and I pray things go smoothly for y'all.

Dreams and Goals

Now's the time to think about how I need to improve myself as a person and as a working man.  I really need to buckle down and get a lot done with the precious time I do have free of any upsets. It does require me to dig deeper and getting to meet myself at happiness, satisfaction, and true security.  I don't feel like I'm anywhere there yet, but I'm off to a start, which is better than nothing at all.  So I need to keep writing and I need to stay focused. I have a few projects lined up and I NEED to see those continually worked upon.

Unemployment Sucks Part 50: Closure

My Unemployment Sucks series comes to an end today.  Not because I'm 100% over all the havoc unemployment wrought into my life, but having a job means looking at things different, and perhaps starting a new series to reflect my progress. I shared a lot on my writing blog, Several Deadly CINEs on how my creativity went all wonky, and how a shift in perspective and experiences brings me to a new chapter. New chapters in life mean new ideas, stories, and the potential for new possibilities.

Life's a process, not so smooth of and endeavor to get back to a healthy balance, but that started when I didn't want to give up on working or living.  Enduring is more than difficult and it took twelve months to get something going. I'm taking this moment to thank God, family, and friends for their support and belief in me as well as the reminders to get back up and get things done.  

So I got to end my series on an even number.  Don't know if that's OCD of me or not.  It does mean I got to settle some things on my terms, which I feel fantastic about. I went through a lot of changes, but at best I know that not a year in exile could take away from me the things that mattered the most. The best stayed with me.  The worse fell by the wayside and went away.

Unemployment Sucks Part 49: Part of the Game

NOTE: Even though I'm employed now, there are a lot of loose ends to settle, and I'm hoping to wrap this series up at post 50.  Still so many things to do and on day four of employment. So let's take this from today:

I informed the peeps in the unemployment office that I did find employment, and gave info last week as per their instructions. So on last Saturday I got a letter in the mail that needed clarifying in regards to my unemployment benefits.

This meant getting up early today and attending to meeting the unemployment peeps. I am not a morning person and feel a need for a nap. I gonna need to stay awake. May need coffee this morning. I'd like to think I'd make it without the coffee, as it does mess with my congestion but this needs some, and I'll be taking some precautions and staying alert for congestion flare ups (as of now no flare ups - so it didn't hurt me - still gonna drink water behind it to keep the flare up from showing up late).  

As i started writing this post, I got a call to see the rep, and with a few clicks of her mouse, the issue was resolved. I was like wow, that's amazing. I literally got out if bed, didn't sleep late cause I wanted this taken care of, and it took less than a minute. This means I spent more time in my car than I did in the office, and it reminds me that I'm gonna sleep late tomorrow. Hopefully NO ONE needs me up early. If they do, I will answer the call, but I'm due a late morning and I intend to collect.