Sunday, May 11, 2008

Can I Get Real For A Moment: Part 1

NOTE: Proactivity the key to success. Creativity is the guide. Bear with me please. Some transitions are worth the wait.

It's another Sunday, and I've been feeling pretty introspective of late. In the midts of so many thoughts, I wonder what I want in this life (and the next). Been wondering why I was put on this Earth, and why I've gone through the experiences that I have. Why am I here? Why now? Why this night? My reality is evolving. I'm delighted and scared. There is no set in stone guide to my life. I've been praying and thinking. Lord help me, because I do feel lost a lot.

It's not tangible. I feel it. I feel sometimes that I'm out of touch with my own welfare and happiness.

I don't want to bore anyone but I'd like to get past where I am, which is this feeling of living in a transitional period. This is a place where I feel stuck in the tar. I want to pull free and change the flow of my life. I want to stop feeling so limited in life, limited in finances, limited in all the choices and actions I have in life. Don't wanna wake up another day and feel like I'm struggling, when I should be shining like a star in the heavens.

Sometimes I feel divided by my thoughts, and the world. I feel that schism like a tight wire, binding us all to the same path.

I sometimes don't hear myself think. I'm not being fair to myslef, and I need to pray that my eyes and spirit open to my life and my world because a moment of pure awreness is worth a lifetime. If y'all don't know or can't follow me, I can only say I know that if I ever site "destiny" or "fate" in any train of thought, I've got to be on top of that game. There's a calmness, and a strenght that comes with awareness.

It was not my destiny to merely struggle for success. Why can't every day be a great day? I wanna be happy, and I want to share my happiness with others. I want to take care of myself, and my loved ones. I don't want to feel conflicted all the time.

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