Masochistically in Love

I noticed an important difference between some of my friends and myself. Some my friends are masochistically in love with the chaos and drama of unhealthy relationships. It’s a dangerous game, to trifle in the affairs of the heart. It’s a rollercoaster minus a few tracks at its highest peak. It scares me to think that chaos is what some friends equate to love. What I learned about myself is that I love the simple things in life. I love to relax on my weekends. After a week of work, all I want to do is unwind, make me a good dinner, and get my personal projects done. It is a beautiful experience to enjoy a day of peace and fulfillment.

I am worried by some of my friends’ choices. Their ill regard for their own well-being leads them spiraling off their roller coaster and crashing into reality. I have had many long conversations with people who don’t have a clue as to what’s gone wrong in their relationships. That lack of ownership and boundaries leave me exhausted after a call. After getting truckloads of drama dumped in my lap, I ask myself, “What’s wrong with my friends?” Maybe I should be asking myself, “What’s wrong with me?”

When I get a drama call, it’s not always easy, but I listen. I hear so many endless complaints and suffering, that I find my world hijacked and placed on the roller coaster with my friends. I feel like I spiraling into a messy situation, and I am desperately trying to get off.

I hear a lot more than just drama in friends’ stories. There is a lot of hurt and pain too. People are heading down dark roads. Sometimes, I think before they hit the dark roads, they stumble upon me. They see me content and happy, and lean on me for support. Sometimes I think they are clawing at me, ready to pull me down with them. Rarely do I hear people owning up to the choices they’ve made.

Now that I have the drama, it colors my world with chaos. I notice I’m feeling down. My modest ideals don’t soothe me. Like they once did. Feelings of gloom linger about, and I can’t focus on my projects proper. I was robbed of my happiness, and I am taking it back back. Friend or no friend, only I can save myself from the troubles that plague me. It is time for me to become proactive and preserve my tranquility before lose any more time wallowing in the pain.

I have a plan to save myself from this borrowed pain. I am very sorry that people are hurting, but hell, if I want my piece of mind, I’ve got to cut the chaos loose. I don’t want to hurt or offend my friends, but if I am to progress in my own pursuit of happiness, then I must turn friends away. From now on, I am going to let people know how they affected me. If people don’t understand my position, then as hard as it is, I am willing to let them go as a friend. I am accountable for all of my actions. Whether my friends want to own up to their for the choices they’ve made is strictly up to them.