Today was all about feeling the woes of being unemployed. Let me say that this past year does have a very nasty, depressive side to it. Sorta like a hairy ass that looks like shag carpet, and unwashed for a month. Can you imagine the funk? Good cause that's how I felt. A lot of changes came while I was unemployed. I lost my aunt, my grandmom became ill, and things seemed to come to a big, screeching halt. I say seemed, cause the world kept on moving along with me.
So let's reflect on my morning. I got up feeling empty and ready for another round of searching for jobs, and tasting that agony of unjust termination. Part of me wanted to sit back and just hang out on the couch with that funk. The funk wraps me like a big, coat made of nasty ass hair. Funk owned me and colored my world. This is not how I'm supposed to live, and damn it, that's not gonna happen!
A brother needed to be over the woes as they clouded and crowded my brains and turned my creative output to nil. I told myself to get over that, and here I am writing a new blog post. That Debbie Downer mood I was going through. I had to send that bitch packing. Yes it sounds simple to say, "get over it." Who else could say that to me and their opinion matters more? Who's gonna love me more than me? If I don't start with me, well then I'm lost, and deserve to go sit back on the couch with my pity party.
Today ain't perfect, but I'm putting my foot down against me allowing myself to sulk. If I gotta put my emotions to the side and get shit done, or smooth them fuckers out, then that's what's gonna happen. Maybe I can channel them emotions into something good. I know I'm not sulking or wearing the asshair coat anymore. Maybe there's a lesson here about smoothing out my emotions, my thoughts, my soul. Things shall work out because the world never stopped moving and I will be free of all things that try to constrain me.