What I Want From My Art Part 1

I was thinking about my projects, and how unfocused I have been. Granted, there are various outside elements grating on my nerves, stressing me, and I haven't been feeling well, but I have never stopped creating. My crafts have gotten minimum attention, and that, to me is wrong. It doesn't help that I have trouble focusing often. Being grounded (focused) is hard work, and I always come back to what I love. I would like to be more in my element. I have power here. I have satisfaction that is deeper than my job (forgive me work studies I love y'all, but my art is at the top of my list).

Initially, my foolish mind told me that I was too indecisive, and that I can't pick one project to give attention to proper. I was so wrong. Someone once advised me to be proactive in my work. That is stop waiting for change, go out and get the project done. It doesn't matter if I make a list or not. What I need to do what I get to work. Prioritize my actions, and make them work.

Taking stock, I am about to jump into my MFA program, and I'm feeling doubtful. Doubtful of my skills as an artist and a writer. What happened to me? OMG I let myself go without a fight. Let go like a whisper in an empty theater. That's my fault, and I am learning from my wrongs, as well as my goods.

It's like I didn't put my MFA portfolio together (29 pages of written samples, when I only needed 20, thank you very much). Well, who wrote it? I did? Who showed their ambition to secure the goal. I did. I can't keep doubting my gifts. One day I may find them gone, wishing I had used them when I had them. I am more than capable of doing it all.